Check out some similar questions!

emmarose2010 · Feb 28, 2013, 06:16 PM

My partner of 7 years ended things with me on the 27th October 2012 after a bumpy year together. The year wasn't all bad there were some great moments and then some awful moments. He said he was done and he no longer loved me, just like that, after telling me a few weeks before he wanted to fix us and spend the rest of his life with me. To make matters worse I found out I was pregnant. He didn't want the child (its out 2nd) but I refused to get an abortion. On 27th Dec 2012 he met this girl at a party,They started dating on the 15th Jan 2013, and they have been quite full on ever since. A few weeks ago she landed a job in a small country town 2hrs away. Last week he told me he had quit his job & landed a job in the same town and yesterday he moved there, Already worked out a house and she is moving in with him. He is now 2hrs away from his 4yr old daughter and me being 5months along with our second. I can comprehend what the hell he is doing. He has been with this girl for about 7 weeks and he's packed up his entire life and moved to a rural town away from his daughter and second on the way. I can never contact him as he has no reception in this town at all. He will only ever see his daughter when he feels like coming back down on the weekends. Why is he doing this? Could this be for real? I don't understand why he has moved so fast with this new girl after we spent 4yrs together engaged with house & kid with second baby on the way.
Will he ever come to his sense? Even if he tells me he doesn't love me anymore, And he feels nothing for me? Could this be true? Or is he clouded by hurt & anger?

dontknownuthin · Feb 28, 2013, 06:47 PM

I would recommend that you base your feelings about the situation on his actions, and not try so hard to interpret them. He left and he's with another girl. He told you he's done with the relationship. He told you he doesn't want another baby. He's not regularly seeing the child you have.

So, your relationship is over, you need to stop obsessing about it and funnel all that upset and energy into something productive - planning for your second child and figuring out how you're going to raise and support two children on your own. Get a lawyer and file for child support. When the new baby is born, establish paternity so that he is responsible for supporting this child, too.

The thing you need to understand is that no matter his reasons, he's doing what he's doing and you understanding it differently or better won't change the fact that your boyfriend is not your boyfriend - he's someone else's boyfriend now.

WisperWill70 · Mar 1, 2013, 09:57 AM

As hard as it is to accept -- look at all the "Truths" in the situation as it stands now. He doesn't want another child (and isn't being much of a dad to the 4 year old) and is in another relationship... in essence; he's running away from you and what you had together and you have to let it happen. You can't control this and holding on to him in your heart and "is this for real?" isn't going to change anything - it can only stop your own life from progressing and make you miserable. You can't make him love you, the baby or the child you have so you have to focus on moving your family forward and getting your heart back! There is nothing to understand but those truths about the way things are. Go through a period of grieving "what could have been" (and what you thought would happen) and then go out there and let yourself be happy again. Move on with your life. Take care of your wonderful babies... and don't waste your life trying to get him to be a good dad or get him to come back.

There's someone out there who wants to be with you and isn't afraid of the responsibility of being a "dad"/father-figure... and it's not your ex. In time you'll open yourself up to someone new but in the meantime, I agree: find a lawyer, establish paternity and make sure this guy supports his children because that's his responsibility.

talaniman · Mar 1, 2013, 10:17 AM

He hasn't lost his mind suddenly. He has been plotting and planning this move for a long time, behind your back.

Sorry you just have found out about it, and of course are in a terrible shock. Sorry you were betrayed by this dishonest fool, and have two kids now by this boob. You need a friend, or family, a shoulder to cry on, and support until reality finally set in.

>Cyber Hug<

fredg · Mar 1, 2013, 10:37 AM

I agree with getting a lawyer and filing for child support. He isn't coming back. I went through a divorce after my first 7 yrs of marriage, went through all the heartbreak of "losing" 2 small boys from living with me, and later remarried for 30 yrs.
You have enough on your hands with caring for your children, making a home for them, and supporting them, without wondering what happened to him. I wish you the best, and good luck. PLEASE try to get child support. And Good luck.

dontknownuthin · Mar 1, 2013, 04:00 PM

Please know, too, that the longer you try to figure this guy out, get him back, interpret and reinterpret his actions, hope for things to go back to how they were - the longer you will be stuck in this negative place. When you accept the relationship is over, you can focus on what IS worth revisiting - what did you like about this relationship, and what were points that disappointed you or that you argued about. Take that knowledge and start dating again after your baby is born and you're back on your feet.

Mcsap9213 · Mar 1, 2013, 04:07 PM

Relationships without a commitment have little to fall back on. When he tires of this new girl , he will probably move on again. But , he has a legal and moral responsibility to you and both of your children. With his mindset , I doubt he is anxious to support you or the kids so the time to get a lawyer is NOW.