[sypher373]

Has anyone else ever felt a little relieved to know their ex is hurting as much/more than you. Or the opposite, gotten upset when it appears that their ex is not hurting as much as you? I feel bad thinking about this, but it seems to make me feel better when I know she is upset. I'm sure she is probably upset about it, just not showing it where I can see it and trying to get over it... Are these immature feelings, or have other people expierenced it..

I guess what that does to me is exactly what I should do to her... I don't want to let her see me sweat, and I want her to feel like leaving me was a mistake - letting her think that I am doing fine is probably the way to go. Guess I should have listened to wildcat all along ;)

[NeedKarma]

Google 'schadenfreude'.

[ForeverZero]

Yea, looking at an ex that doesn't exhibit symptoms of caring is one of the most emotionally damaging things one can do. It puts the entire relationship in question and in general makes you feel bad. On the other hand, you need to look at what they're probobly thinking. If you're not calling or writing or whatever, they're left up to their own devices as well. Yours take you to assume she's having a blast and this is easy, what do you think hers take her to?

[Jiser]

I really don't think any break up is easy. Though some people relish change, the transition in to a new sense of life as a singleton is going to be strange for any party. Chances are you would have good memories and most people would cherish them.

I know I would feel better If I knew she felt bad. I do wonder if she is over me now 7 weeks later... All I know is I am having a blast and more fun than I ever did with my ex : ) and that is the best revenge.

[sypher373]

Do you think that part of no contact should involve me removing any source of temptation for me to check up on her. As in checking the myspaces etc just to see how she's doing. Though this is no contact, and she would have no idea, it seems to bother me into thinking if she still cares...

Should I remove all this temptation, it sounds obvious, I just don't know if I could keep myself from looking

[sypher373]

Google 'schadenfreude'.

Schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun:
A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.

Well, I don't know if id consider it a malicious satisfaction. I don't think it's that evil, I just think it lets me know that I'm still on her mind, and for some reason I like that, and I know I shouldn't

Im just hoping time will take that away

[Skell]

Do you think that part of no contact should involve me removing any source of temptation for me to check up on her. As in checking the myspaces etc just to see how shes doing. Though this is no contact, and she would have no idea, it seems to bother me into thinking if she still cares....

Should I remove all this temptation, it sounds obvious, i just dont know if i could keep myself from looking

Yes I do think that is a good idea. A very good idea.

You don't need to check her myspace account.

Ask Geoff about what happened when he did. Not a good idea!

Concentrate on YOU! Not her!

[talaniman]

Having bad feelings towards an ex is a waste of time and unhealthy. It is a sign you need to work harder on your own happiness. You don't need that negative energy.

[sypher373]

Thanks guys,

Tal, the more time that passes the less I feel that way. I think this is causing me to mature a bit in my thinking. I realize that's not smart, and I'm focusing on myself now. I have to stop living in the past and just get on with it. Whatever happens happens, for now there's nothing I can do about that.

[talaniman]

Whatever happens happens, for now there's nothing I can do about that.

You can control being happy with yourself.