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DivorcedDude · Feb 5, 2013, 03:50 PM

I am a 36 year old male. I recently got divorced in May of 2012. I stuck it out until the end, but it happened. I have been on my own pretty much since then. Ever since this happened, it seems everything is going down the tubes. The days are an up and down struggle. Some days I feel great, but most days are pretty miserable. The only "light" in my life is my children. I have two of them. Everything else, just seems to be slipping away. My job, any hopes of a new relationship. I am not happy with the image I see in the mirror. I am not ugly, but I am just having trouble committing to anything. My job, a new relationship... even making or maintaining friends for that matter. I feel myself starting to head down a bad path. I am trying to pick up the pieces, but when I do get ahold, it seems things just get scattered all over the place again. I am not sure what to do here. Feeling kind of lost!

joypulv · Feb 5, 2013, 05:18 PM

How often do you have your children with you? Are they happy seeing you?
Also, tell us about your job and whether it's meaningful to you or not.
And third, have you lost a lot of mutual friends that you had with your ex, and where did they go?

DivorcedDude · Feb 5, 2013, 05:41 PM

Since the divorce, I have tried to have them as much as possible. I have succeeded in that. Recently, their mother and I have been doing a week on and a week off. I have two little girls, they need mommy time. I realize that. Plus, she is a good mom. SHe taught me a lot about parenting. They are always happy to see me. I live in the home they grew up in.
The job I have is kind of a dead end lower management construction job. Quitting it would take a whole bunch of stress off me. But I got to put food on the table. It's scary to think about leaving it, but I don't know what else I could do. I make just enough to be comfortable, but not enough to get ahead. I am confused about it, it's getting harder and harder to focus on doing the job I have now properly.
A lot of the "good" friendships I have had over the past 10 years(that's how long I was married), were really supportive when marital problems reared their head and through the divorce. But since my ex wife discovered, that the grass wasn't greener on the other side. She has since been trying to get back with me. I let her in for about a month and when old problems surfaced, she walked out again and ended up back with the person she left me for. Now, she has broken up with him again and is trying to find her way back in. I love this women with all my heart, but I don't trust her with my hear and I don't want to have anything to do with her in that regard. It's just confusing. One of my best friends was her brother, he seems like an alien to me now. He pushed me out of the friendship.
By the way, thanks for responding.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 5, 2013, 06:47 PM

So work on better education if you need it, perhaps online college classes, long term goals.

A new relationship will happen you are just 36, believe me, the fun in life and dating is still out there. Some of the wildest and strangest dating experiences of my life was when I was around 40.

If you want to date, don't think serioius dating yet, just ask out different women and go out to have dinner or coffee or club, what ever it is you do.