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andreyveritas · Feb 4, 2013, 04:08 PM

Write an introductory paragraph that includes quotation, personal anecdote, and a strong thesis statement.

Wondergirl · Feb 4, 2013, 04:44 PM

What topic?

Veritas21 · Feb 4, 2013, 05:20 PM

Topic of your choice

Alty · Feb 4, 2013, 05:27 PM

Are you giving us an assignment? We're pretty busy, so that's not something we have time for.

Is this your assignment? If so, pick a topic, write an introductory paragraph, post it here and we can critique it for you. But the rules of this site specifically state that we don't, and won't, do your work for you. This is your assignment, so make the effort. All we can do is critique it.

Wondergirl · Feb 4, 2013, 05:38 PM

How about one of these topics -- the Millennium generation, what's wrong with Hollywood today, or the value of rap music.

Alty · Feb 4, 2013, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How about one of these topics -- the Millennium generation, what's wrong with Hollywood today, or the value of rap music.

WG, I have to say, if the OP can't even choose a topic, I don't see this going anywhere but downhill. Choosing a topic is the easy part, writing is the hard part.

I would suggest that the OP pick a topic that she has a lot of knowledge on, a topic that's near and dear to her heart. But my gut is saying that she doesn't want to put a lot of effort into this, which is why she came here expecting us to not only pick a topic, but write her paper for her. :(

Wondergirl · Feb 4, 2013, 05:43 PM

I am trying to inspire her. :(

Alty · Feb 4, 2013, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I am trying to inspire her. :(

Good luck with that. :)

Wondergirl · Feb 4, 2013, 06:01 PM

Make her come back so I can inspire her more.

andreyveritas · Feb 4, 2013, 06:37 PM

“I never would have thought that it could happened to me….” It was Monday, December 19, 2008; the day that my mom supposed to come back home from her vacation in China. I was overwhelmed with all those amazing and joyful feeling to finally see my mom. My dad came into my room and said, “Your mom is not coming back today because she’s giving birth to your brother.” From that point, I knew that I would not be able to see my baby brother any time soon, because he will be Chinese citizen. Years had passed, my parent were still filling different paper to bring my brother to United States. The only time saw my brother was through the computer screen, on the webcam. He didn’t even knew who I was, or why we are separated. My heart ached with pain, from the thought of staying apart from him. All I wanted was for my family to be together. But all I kept seeing were different types of papers my parents were filling out to get my brother to United States. It was the summer of 2010. My family received a letter, stating that we can bring my bother to America. The smile on my parents’ face were indescribable. So much joy and happiness overwhelmed us that day. After those long years of waiting, my family is reunited.

Wondergirl · Feb 4, 2013, 06:50 PM

Nice job! It needs a bit of editing and is a terrific anecdote. Now, we need a thesis statement and a quote.

Alty · Feb 4, 2013, 06:56 PM

I agree, great job. I love it. You made it interesting, so I couldn't stop reading it. That's what great writing is all about, getting the reader to want to read what you wrote. :)

andreyveritas · Feb 4, 2013, 07:24 PM

What do you mean quotes?? I put the quotes of what I said at the beginning of the introduction. And can you please give me same example of thesis statement? I this one but it's a little different. " Even though you fight with your family, it better to have them close than never seeing them."

Wondergirl · Feb 4, 2013, 07:27 PM

I'm not sure that's what your teacher means by a quotation.

Is this the intro paragraph? If so, what will the rest of the paper be about?

Thesis statement is what you want to prove or accomplish with this paper.

andreyveritas · Feb 4, 2013, 07:31 PM

Yes, this is the introduction paragraph. Quotation should be what you are saying because it's an anecdote of your personal story. And my paper would be all about why my mother when to china at a fist place, and the process of how my brother came to America.

Wondergirl · Feb 4, 2013, 07:34 PM

A quote to use could be this one to start your intro paragraph --

"Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration." Charles D!ckens certainly caught the meaning of "home," but for the longest time, I felt like I didn't have one.

andreyveritas · Feb 4, 2013, 07:38 PM

OMG! I love how you started with this quote... it give a much better meaning to this paper. Thank You. I will add more thing to this tomorrow and sent it to u. I you have time can you please check it if it sounds OK. Thank You so much for your help)

Wondergirl · Feb 4, 2013, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by andreyveritas

OMG!! I love how you started with this quote....it give a much better meaning to this paper. Thank You. i will add more thing to this tomorrow and sent it to u. I you have time can you please check it if it sounds ok. Thank You so much for your help)

You're welcome. You still need to work on a thesis statement for this paragraph. If you do honest work, I will edit it for you and make spelling corrections, etc. Please proofread your work OUT LOUD AND SLOWLY before you post it.

English is not your first language?

andreyveritas · Feb 6, 2013, 03:08 PM

It was Monday, December 19, 2008; the day that my mom was supposed to come back home from her vacation in China. I was overwhelmed with all those joyful feelings of finally seeing my mom after two months taking care of her sick mother. My dad came into my room and said, “Your mom is not coming back today because she’s giving birth to your brother.” From that point, I knew that I would not be able to see my baby brother any time soon because he would become a Chinese citizen. Years had passed and my parents were still filling different papers to bring my brother, Jack, to United States. The only time I saw Jack was through the computer screen on the webcam. Jack didn’t even know who I was, or why we were separated. My heart ached with pain from the thought of staying apart from him for two years, and all I wanted was for my family to be together. It was the summer of 2010; my family received a letter stating that we can bring my brother, Jack, to America. The smile on my parents’ face was indescribable. After those two long years of waiting, my family was reunited. Families should not be separated because they can form distant relationship with one another.

Wondergirl · Feb 6, 2013, 03:31 PM

The last sentence does not make sense: Families should not be separated because they can form distant relationship with one another.

You are saying: It is okay for families to be separated because family members can form distant relationships from afar.

OR, do you mean --

Families should not be separated even though family members can form distant relationships when apart.

Is this your thesis statement? There still is no quote.