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Kikijuju123 · Feb 3, 2013, 02:29 AM

So I have some guy friends that I video chat with but as normal one of the guys in particular really wants me to show stuff. And I'm just plain nervous, I don't know why but I am. He asked me to do it tonight but I was too chicken so I "owe" him hah.
Does anyone have tips for not being afraid to do anything? Or just any tips in particular about how to not be self- conscious.
This is a serious question, I'm not kidding.

tkrussell · Feb 3, 2013, 04:40 AM

Any "friend" that wants you to "show" something on cam is not a friend. Just someone that wants to get off on seeing whatever you have to show, and wants to degrade and cheapen you.

Next time your asked, say "no", second time your asked, use the "Off" button, and move onto find some true friends.

Unless you don't mind that whatever you show is seen plastered all over the Internet, with your face and name. Then you get a entirely new group of "friends".

boltythehuskie · Feb 3, 2013, 05:45 AM

I agree that isn't a friend at all ,get new guy friends that don't want just your body but YOU and everything about YOU

joypulv · Feb 3, 2013, 06:10 AM

Remember a rule of the internet and pictures in general: showing one guy is possibly showing the whole world.
And you don't 'owe' him anything. Tell him he's an insult to girls everywhere. Show some guts.

ScottGem · Feb 3, 2013, 06:53 AM

You don't know why you are nervous? Maybe its because your parents tried to instill some morality in you and you were taught it is not right to show someone your body for their prurient interests. Maybe its because you know, in the back of your mind, that anything you put on a webcam can be recorded and spread around the world. Maybe its because you realize that this person is just trying to use you and is no friend.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 3, 2013, 06:58 AM

If you "show stuff" they can all be recorded, and shown to everyone in school, or posted on the internet, do you want everyone to see "your stuff"

You don't show it, plain and simple, you don' owe him, tell him you are telling your parents and he will owe you

J_9 · Feb 3, 2013, 07:36 AM

Is this Omegle by chance? That place just sickens me. I've just spent 15 minutes there and all of them want to know your a/s/l (age/sex/location) and the second post is "are you horny?" How old are you 15?

You run the risk of having your "stuff" all over the internet for your friends and family to see. It would be child porn and you would be ashamed of yourself for doing this.

I'm fairly certain that you have not met this "friend" in person, just over the internet. In that case, he is not your friend, he's just some kid who wants to get his rocks off looking at your naked body.

I'm very glad that you came here to ask about this rather than just showing your "stuff." You know it's wrong or you would have done it without asking. You are a smart girl. Use your brains and stay completely away from this "friend."

odinn7 · Feb 3, 2013, 07:45 AM

I agree with J 9... but let me add, he's a pig. He isn't any kind of friend and you are wise to be nervous. Listen to yourself and don't be showing anything.

J_9 · Feb 3, 2013, 07:47 AM

Odinn, have you visited Omegle? It's disgusting. That thing should be removed from the internet completely.

odinn7 · Feb 3, 2013, 07:48 AM

I caught my 12 year old using it with her friend. I blocked it through my router.

J_9 · Feb 3, 2013, 07:53 AM

I just spent 15 minutes there pretending to be a 14 year old girl. It made me sick to my stomach the things I was reading.

So, to the OP, you can see that I was pretending to be a 14 year old girl. I'm really a 48 year old MOTHER of children your age.

I don't know if that is the site you were on, but I have to say, again, that I'm glad you came here and asked about what to do rather than giving in to this "friend." You owe him nothing. He is a pig. He doesn't like you, he doesn't respect you. Please have enough respect for yourself to keep your clothes on.

JARIXA · Feb 4, 2013, 03:22 PM

1st of all he is a Puerco. 2nd of all please do me a favor and don't violate yourself like that. Save the humiliation for something else. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want everyone everywhere seeing you without clothes. And get a new "friend" cause he is a low life!!

p.s: while your telling him to go take a hike call him a Puerco for me. Thanks! :p

daydream44 · Feb 5, 2013, 08:39 PM

I think the majority of the responses to your question involve Internet safety lectures. Which is true, and you need to be careful. But remember, it is natural that teens want to explore their sexuality. And just because conversations happen online like this now, the older generation needs to realize that video chat etc. is becoming a part of the way we live. It sounds like you're not comfortable with this to me, and you are only considering doing it to please him. My advice is to stick with what you're comfortable with, don't try to change to become a source of entertainment.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 5, 2013, 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by daydream44

I think the majority of the responses to your question involve Internet safety lectures. Which is true, and you need to be careful. But remember, it is natural that teens want to explore their sexuality. And just because conversations happen online like this now, the older generation needs to realize that video chat etc. is becoming a part of the way we live. It sounds like you're not comfortable with this to me, and you are only considering doing it to please him. My advice is to stick with what you're comfortable with, don't try to change to become a source of entertainment.

The issue is that showing yourself naked on a video that can be posted to the world, is different than showing yourself private in the back of the school yard.** I don't agree with either but one is much more dangerous.

Girls and boys have killed theirself over photos being published to friends and family.

Good guideline, just thing that any photo you send online, will be seen by your mom and dad,

daydream44 · Feb 5, 2013, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

The issue is that showing yourself naked on a video that can be posted to the world, is different than showing youself private in the back of the school yard.** I don't agree with either but one is much more dangerous.

Girls and boys have killed theirself over photos being published to friends and family.

Good guideline, just thing that any photo you send online, will be seen by your mom and dad,

Again, as I have said in another post about online "showing", you have to think rationally. I just don't think every boy on the Internet is maliciously waiting to show these videos to the world. They just want to see lady parts like most adolescent boys. And to another point, it should not be this big of a deal to show your body. I think part of the reason this generation is becoming so sexually messed up is because adults are constantly telling us it's wrong when it's natural. It is just a body after all. It is also her choice to show it or not.

Wondergirl · Feb 5, 2013, 09:14 PM

Originally Posted by daydream44

I think part of the reason this generation is becoming so sexually messed up is because adults are constantly telling us it's wrong when it's natural. It is just a body after all.

Part of the reason this generation is so sexually messed up is because it has no self respect or respect for anyone else. No, it's NOT natural to show off your body to anyone who asks to see it. Have some personal dignity and honor yourself!

ScottGem · Feb 6, 2013, 04:10 AM

Originally Posted by daydream44

Again, as I have said in another post about online "showing", you have to think rationally. I just don't think every boy on the Internet is maliciously waiting to show these videos to the world. They just want to see lady parts like most adolescent boys. And to another point, it should not be this big of a deal to show your body. I think part of the reason this generation is becoming so sexually messed up is because adults are constantly telling us it's wrong when it's natural. It is just a body after all. It is also her choice to show it or not.

This may be your opinion, but I disagree. Curiosity is natural, debasing yourself to satisfy someone's prurient interests is not. A child does not have the maturity or experience to totally judge the consequences of such actions. There are reasons that there is a dividing line between adults and minors.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 6, 2013, 04:51 AM

It is correct, not every boy out there is going to do it, just the ones who get mad when you break up. Just the ones who forget and friends see it on the computer. Just the ones who send it by accident to someone.

So you are willing to take a risk, that you boy is not like that. The last boy you dated, you most likely thought he was "the one" would never leave you, HUH? How long did it last before you were wrong about that ? We are all. So why take that risk.

odinn7 · Feb 6, 2013, 06:00 AM

Originally Posted by daydream44

Again, as I have said in another post about online "showing", you have to think rationally. I just don't think every boy on the Internet is maliciously waiting to show these videos to the world.

Right... not every boy is but why take the chance? And that comment about "it's just a body"... how about that it's "just" a minor?

daydream44 · Feb 6, 2013, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

This may be your opinion, but I disagree. Curiosity is natural, debasing yourself to satisfy someone's prurient interests is not. A child does not have the maturity or experience to totally judge the consequences of such actions. There are reasons that there is a dividing line between adults and minors.

Scott, from a psychological and developmental point of view, I agree. I hope you know I am not advising her to do this, but to better understand the motives behind it, and to not feel so guilty and constrained over sexuality.