[louzer]

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now, and for the first year it was literally like nothing else I've ever experienced with someone - truly truly amazing, literally like heaven. I felt like I could marry him (not immediately though, I'm only twenty, but in the future). Honestly it was beyond an amazing year. But now he's moved to New York for university, and I am based in London. I graduate in a year, him in 3, and honestly I am finding the distance so difficult. We didn't see each other for three months, and during that time I began to develop feelings for a friend who is at university with me. We drunkenly shared a kiss one night, before the holidays began, whilst me and my boyfriend were in a fight- he hadn't spoken to me for two weeks. Then the holidays began, my boyfriend came back home and things were suddenly amazing again (after being pretty bad in the 3 months whilst he was gone). I felt absolutely terrible for the kiss that happened, I felt like I had somehow dirtied a pure thing. But then I came back to university after the holidays and found that I suddenly felt very very strongly about the friend that I had kissed. This was not helped by the fact that he literally would not leave me alone, he suddenly was round at my house all the time, going to the same events as me etc. It was flattering he was paying me so much attention, and I suddenly couldn't stop thinking about him all the time. My boyfriend was still in england for the two weeks that I was back at term and I suddenly felt incredibly unattracted and uninterested in him. He has now left to go back to university, and I won't see him for another four months. I know that I love him. I know that he is the best person I've ever had the privilege to be with. I still feel like I could marry him. But I really can't stop thinking about my friend. And now we've kissed again, much more properly this time, and I feel absolutely awful but also like I want more. I feel terrible for cheating, but I honestly now really really feel quite strongly about my friend. I don't know what to do. Do I break up with my boyfriend? What if the only reason I like my friend is because I can't have him, and what if I find that out later and can never be with my boyfriend again? I don't want to lose him from my life, I can't, but I feel like if I break up with him he will certainly slip away. But should I really be in a relationship if I feel so strongly about someone else? Please help!

[Homegirl 50]

You need to break up with your boyfriend any way because you are not being honest with him. If you really wanted this other guy to leave you alone, you would tell him to. Does he know you are seeing someone? Are you sending mixed signals? Maybe it is the attention you're enjoying because your boyfriend is away..
Either make up your mind to keep up the long distant relationship with him, that means telling the other guy to back off, or break it off.