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    laura_mac's Avatar
    laura_mac Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 5, 2004, 03:00 PM
    8 year old daughter who masturbates
    Hi,

    I have a little girl that has such a problem with this that I am at my wits end. See she doesn't care where she is she does it anywhere. I guess it would not be so bad if she knew to do this in private only. So I don't no how to handle this situation anymore. The doctors have put her on meds.. (lexapro) but that seems to be making her worse. Is there anyone else out there that can talk to me about this. She is also a child with adhd, developmental delays, in a special ed class.(tmh) trainable mentally handicapped. I am so concerned I just need some help.

    Thanks everyone.

    Scorpio848's Avatar
    Scorpio848 Posts: 36, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Sep 7, 2004, 10:36 AM
    Re: 8 year old daughter who masturbates
    All kids do it. The trick is to let them know it is a private matter. My six year old is always grabbing himself. Lol
    I think the most important part is to not tell them it is dirty or wrong. It is absolutely natural. Making them feel bad about their urges, won't help anything. In your daughters case, do your best to teach her it's a private matter. And for God's sake, monitor whatever drugs they are always so quick to dispense.
    Good Luck to you.


    Scorpio
    amySlater's Avatar
    amySlater Posts: 31, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Dec 26, 2004, 07:53 PM
    Good luck.
    I am sorry that you are having such a hard time with this issue. Unfortunately, most children, and many adults, operate on the pleasure principle which simply means if it feels good do it. I understand your concern and while it is true that all children experiment with their bodies, it does not make it any easier. With the problems that you say your child has you may do well just to make sure that she is covered up at all times when she is exhibiting this behavior. I would not totally give up on professional help because you want to avoid having this become a compulsion/obsession with her. Is there any type of distraction that will work, anything at all? Will she stop if you pick her up and rock her like a baby or force her attention elsewhere for a moment by making a loud noise or playing loud music? I do not understand any of the new terms like TMH and many of the new categories that they are coming up for defiant behaviors in kids. I agree with Scorpio about using caution when it comes to using drugs, especially psychactive ones. Get a second opinion. Also take the best care of you that you can. I feel that you would benefit greatly if you allowed a close friend or family member take care of your daughter every now and then, especially when it comes the most stressful days. If she senses that you are about to lose it then she too will become upset and this may actually add fuel to an already stressful situation. Does this behavior increase or decrease during any parucular time that you can pinpoint? Did it start up all of a sudden? These type of particular questions and answers can aid her doctor greatly in finding the right solution for her. I suggest observing the behavior and the times and circumstances surrounding it for a week and then reporting what you have found to your doctor. In the case of obsessive-compulsive behavior, it could be one very simple trigger that sets off the behavior.

    Good luck,
    Amy
    ladyandjan's Avatar
    ladyandjan Posts: 191, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Jan 25, 2005, 10:17 PM
    Have you read or looked into the soybean and how powerful a hormone it is? I have read that babies who are given soy formula develop earlier in life-just look at all the young girls who are so large chested and boys who develop with the beginning age around 7 or 8. Do a search using Google and put in dangers of soy also toxins of soy. There is a site written by a doctor called: thedoctorwithin.com clock on chapters and read the one about the soybean-if that doesn't give you food for thought and might aid in a decision not to eat any soy and see if your daughter slows down or stops masturbating. Knowledge is power-the more you have the easier it is to make an informed decision. Take care.
    mike145k's Avatar
    mike145k Posts: 123, Reputation: -1
    -
     
    #5

    Jun 29, 2005, 02:07 PM
    mittins might help
    I recommend you take her to a shrink and let them handle it and in the mean time make her wear some sort of mittins so she will not touch herselfhttps://www.askmehelpdesk.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=12605#
    EEK!
    serialwife's Avatar
    serialwife Posts: 117, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Jun 29, 2005, 06:26 PM
    I am social worker and we deal with a lot of children with emotional damage. I realize no parents want to think there child has been molested but children who are molested often act out sexually and have no regard for where they are. It is an avenue to explore. If your child is truly simply a hedonist then I suggest getting an age appropriate sex ed book and talking with her and explaining when and where it is okay to touch herself. If you are making a major deal out of it ( I know if it were actually my child I would be spastic) She may be doing just to get a reaction. I would also suggest taking her to child therapist that specializes in deviant child behavior. If you email what state you are in a I can find a therapist that is specialized in your area.
    Okay first it was boxing gloves now it's mittens. I don't understand why you think that putting something over their hands will help. I can assure you that they will quickly be labeled a freak for roaming around in mittens or a boxing gloves. I am not sure where you are getting your child rearing skills but they need a major over haul. I am guessing by the suggestions you are making that your children are in their 30's at the youngest. Things change... welcome out of the dark ages...
    mike145k's Avatar
    mike145k Posts: 123, Reputation: -1
    -
     
    #7

    Jul 1, 2005, 10:50 PM
    I am social worker
    I am social workerI am social workerI am social workerI am social workerI am social workerI am social workerI am social worker right here your no better then any other expert get that in your head and accept that fact that your not a councilor I am social workerI am social workerI am social worker
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Jul 2, 2005, 08:37 AM
    Child
    Hi,
    Your doctor probably did what he/she thought was the right thing to do.
    But, have you actually talking with a psychologist? Or some other professional, other than a medical doctor?
    You might also check Google for the side effects of Lexapro... all anti-depressants have them. You will have to decide which you want her to have!
    Also, please look in your local phone book, and find a support group for this type of child. Actually talking with others can really help a lot.
    Best of luck,
    fredg
    serialwife's Avatar
    serialwife Posts: 117, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Jul 4, 2005, 07:28 AM
    Okay I am getting tired of mike145k berating me for being a social worker. As a social worker you are right I am not a councilor I am a counselor. I give people advise on a daily basis. In fact I teach parenting classes that deal with many of these topics. My advise is knowledge I have picked up over the years. I could careless if you respect me but please don't give advice that could have an adverse effect on children.
    Psychologists are always a great choice. Good luck with your problems.
    lickemlolly's Avatar
    lickemlolly Posts: 397, Reputation: 62
    Full Member
     
    #10

    Jul 4, 2005, 03:29 PM
    To be real honest with you most small children do this.. my 10 month old son smiles and laughs when I change his diaper and I have to wipe him down there... hell my mom says I did it when I was a child and so did my little brother... what you need to realize is that its normal but what you need to reinforce is what everyone keeps telling you and that is this is a PRIVATE matter.. really sit down with her and you need to come up with some course of action when she does this in public.. if nothing happens then she will continue to do it... personally my mother used to spank us but that is something I don't agree with but no course of action only encourages her to keep doing it in public places.
    serialwife's Avatar
    serialwife Posts: 117, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Jul 5, 2005, 06:11 PM
    I hope you got your problem sorted out. I just found a book on the topic of privacy and small children in this subject if you would like the title let me know.
    karma's Avatar
    karma Posts: 33, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Jul 5, 2005, 06:41 PM
    It not an abnormal thing
    I have known a girl who whenever she sees a male friend of her fathers she gets on his arm and "humps" it. Sorry for the derogatory term but I can't think of any other way to put it. She had once seen her parents having sex and believing it was a form of showing love and trust, she feels no adversity to it. She grew out of it, with the coaxing of her mother. She told her her actions made others feel uncomfortable, but it wasn't bad in private. Something's, like urinating, should be done only in private and that gave her a connection. Good luck and my advice is to try letting off on the medication. We are an over-medicated society and children, I believe, need love and compassion more than a prescription.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Mar 13, 2010, 06:59 PM
    This post is 6 years old - please check the thread dates.

    The girl would be 14 by now!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #14

    Mar 13, 2010, 07:11 PM
    This thread is almost 6 years old. Please check dates prior to responding. Thus, the thread is closed. Also, please be advised that it is not wise to use your email address as a username.

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