[eMiLy002]

Only like 18 people and no no one with piercings (if they have only the normal ears) different girls Are girley and boys are Chavez and stuff like that

[joypulv]

OK... well looking different and being proud of it takes guts, especially in a really small school. Maybe it's based on anger and defiance, I don't know, I don't want to put words in your mouth.
I strongly believe that anger 99% of the time is our defense against hurt. The hurt is so painful that we defy the world, strike back, go on the offense. Nothing wrong with that as a protective mechanism, except that it's lonely. Plus it can all come crashing down into depression. That's one reason why I hope you demolish that bed! I love demolishing things. I loved my dad and didn't love my mother, and I have my dad's very heavy sledgehammer, and I love using it. For you it's the other way around, but it's all the same idea.
So... tell us more of what's going on. You write one liners, let more out.

[dontknownuthin]

I want to share some things with you and ask you to really think about them.

First, you say that everyone hates you. Everyone doesn't know you. Of all the people you will encounter in your life, you've met very, very few of them by this age. You have not been old enough to have adequate control to actively seek the right people. For example, if the family you were born to has been difficult, you have not had a choice in that. One day though, you will have the choice to create the family you want. Think about that - it's very empowering. It may seem like forever but it's not so long now - five years and you'll be an adult, ready to move on and away from home, whether to college or the military or a job - you can go where nobody knows you, reinvent yourself, start over making friends, falling in love with a great person, becoming self-reliant, putting your bed wherever the heck you want your bed to be!

If you feel people hate you now, have you just behaved in ways that you don't think they'll forgive you for? When I was 13, man - I was not a nice girl. Well, I was a nice girl going through a really hard time and I took it out in a nasty way on my mom and siblings, especially. I had a mouth on me. Did you know that this is developmentally normal? Did you know that all the homonal fluctuations in your body at this point make it so you cannot even help being super emotional, impatient with your family and even self-concious? It's a really, really hard time. It does get better. Even if your circumstances don't change, as you work through this year as a 13 year old, maybe part of being 14, you will steadily be able to manage your circumstances better - you'll be able to ignore some things that make you feel like putting your fist through the wall now. You will be able to shrug off things people say that make you cry now. And as you get into high school, man - a whole new world opens up. Friends become more important than family, and you get to choose who they will be.

It sounds like you don't feel you have any close friends. This is really, really typical of your age, too. At least from like middle school or junior high through freshman year of high school, things are rough. As many people on this site have said to lots of other kids who have posted really similar things to your problems, when you get into high school, you can join a bunch of stuff - clubs, sports, choir, theater - whatever interests you. If you've never been an athlete or actor or leader, you can become one just by showing up. The more involved you get, the more friends you will have.

One thing you need to be really, really careful of though is that it sounds like you have a bad relationship with your dad and are feeling pretty miserable. Know that nothing lasts forever - good things (like days at amusement parks) always end. So do bad things (like your family driving you crazy, or periods when you're short on friends). Do not fall into bad behaviors in the meantime. Like, don't start drinking or things like that to make yourself feel better. Don't feel like you have to do wrong things to fit in just so you can have some kind of friends. Do positive things, make good choices and be patient. You will be amazed how much better things will get if all you do is take good care of yourself and try to do the right and responsible things, even if your family doesn't appreciate what you are trying to do. Do it for yourself. Get good grades, get good rest, eat healthy, get involved at school. You will see - every time you do a good thing, something good will come of it.

Maybe you could tell us more about why you are so sad, why you are so upset about your father, why you think other people hate you (either why you think that, or why they hate you).

[eMiLy002]

Well for starters my dad has said very bad things to my family and broke bones (me and my mum) and no one talks to me hangs around with me sits by me or anything a friend should do.

[joypulv]

I hope your mum called the police when he broke bones. I can't imagine what you went through in between broken bones, broken hearts. I also can't imagine what it has done to you emotionally, although I do understand what it is like to be unloved and to feel like I never should have been born.
No one hangs out with you partly because you don't say friendly things to them first, perhaps, and they think you don't want friends. Starting a friendship is VERY two way. Try a hi or two in the halls, just one lonely person, isn't there anyone who fits that description? You don't have to be a perky cheerful cheerleader to be liked. You just have to say one little nice thing to someone.
So... is there one person?

[eMiLy002]

Nope everyone has loads of friends and I say hi and stuff and they just walk away and I do feel like I wish I was never born

[Wondergirl]

Do you have a guidance counselor or a favorite teacher?

[eMiLy002]

Not really

[Wondergirl]

So you hate on everyone too?

[eMiLy002]

No the teachers are strict and we have no counselor the teachers always move me even though I don't talk or anything and I try sit by people I say hi the ignore me and then the teachers move me to sit by myself and stuff and some people just ignore me all the time and I end up just sitting somewhere and no one says hello in my break or lunch

[joypulv]

Do you think they have their little groups by how they dress, wear their hair, tattoos, piercings, makeup? And you are the only one who looks the way you do?
To bad you couldn't go to a bigger school! 18 in one class is really tiny.

[eMiLy002]

I'm the only one and I know right!! And I don't know about the group thing

[Wondergirl]

There were 11 kids in my class -- country school, three grades to a room.

Have you always been with these kids? Have you always been an outsider?

[eMiLy002]

I've always been with them and I've been an outsisder for a long time now and everyone just stopped talking to me as soon as I changed like got my lip and nose percied and my dyed and cut to a different style cause it was who I was and my mum tried to get me all girly but I don't like that stuff

[eMiLy002]

I'm going to try get some sleep now cause its like midnight in england so night :) thanks for listening to me look forward to talking to you soon

[Fr_Chuck]

It is choices we make, for any action we do there will be a counter action.

You have chosen a dress and a appearance that will get frowned upon by a large groups of society.

You will not get hired for jobs because of lip or nose rings, regardless of other qualifications.
You will sometimes not get waited on at some stores as easy.
You may be watched by store security because you look like someone who may steal.

These are your choices ( well they will be at some point) to be honest If I was the parent, no 13 year old would be allowed the nose and lip piercing and would wear what I told them, since I would be buying it.

[eMiLy002]

Well this is who I want to be how I want to look its not up to other people to chose what I look like I'm not changing for ANYONE

[Wondergirl]

Well this is who I want to be how I want to look its not up to other people to chose what I look like I'm not changing for ANYONE

You refused to change even if changing would improve your life?

[joypulv]

Defiance against the world is your protection from pain - and a furtherance of your pain.
I think many of us know it well, from our youth, and beyond.
I went straight into hippy look (back around 1962), and the school principal even called me in to his office to ask about it. My mother worked there part time, and he told me that he was always sure that I would turn out to be a JD (juvenile delinquent). She was a miserable, mean person taking out all her unhappiness on everyone.
Others I knew had it much worse, and they had their flags of defiance too.
The only difference now is that kids start younger.
And you had it really bad from the start.

I guess if you don't want to change how you appear to others, then you have to accept your loneliness. But at your age, a friend is vital to your future ability to deal with life.

[eMiLy002]

Well I might just change a bit but keep the style of the emo look I might get a new piercing or dye my hair and I didn't have much sleep again last night