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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #1

    Mar 15, 2007, 05:28 AM
    Cats, Cows, College.
    The Dying Irish Nun

    The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.

    Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

    When she walked back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

    "Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."

    She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow."





    Value of Degrees

    The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

    The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

    The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

    The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"





    Cat Rules of Hampering

    If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering":

    1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. It's even funnier when they try to avoid stepping on you and fall into a counter or table.

    2. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

    3. For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work.

    4. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #2

    Mar 15, 2007, 05:32 AM
    Many thanks for the day brightener! That college joke is fairly true too. Lol
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #3

    Mar 15, 2007, 05:52 AM
    Hey... who taught my naughty kitties this?? LOL

    G'morning Tal.

    Thanks for the laugh!
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #4

    Mar 15, 2007, 06:24 AM
    I just KNEW that cats plotted!
    Phoenix25's Avatar
    Phoenix25 Posts: 203, Reputation: 5
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    #5

    Mar 15, 2007, 03:15 PM
    Our cats do that (soo they have a plan do they... evil)LOL
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #6

    Mar 15, 2007, 03:50 PM
    You left out the one about when you are typing a VIP (very important post) LOL cats think that is the best time to walk across the keyboard to add some flourishing touches of their own.

    If you ever see smething livkse tis in ay of my posts I aam clai,ming c at typing!

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