[dudebroguy]

Threads have been merged for the whole story

Ok so here's the thing: I've never had a girlfriend. I'm 22 years old and I've always played the field and this one just happened to slow my roll which I'm totally okay with. We've only been dating for 4 months and it's pretty good but in reality I have nothing to compare it to so excuse me if this is mundane or relationship routine.

So one day we're having dinner and my girlfriend is completely silent and makes no effort to help me carry the conversation. When we get back to my place I ask her if there is anything on her mind and then she says, "You know, it's really hard to watch you hit and flirt with every girl."

Me: "What do you mean? When did I do that?"
Her: "At the restaurant with the waitress." (mind you my girlfriend is 4'11, curvacious and beautiful in every way.. the waitress was not even in the same division) "You're also so hard to talk to. Like, I can't even express myself to you."
Me: "I wasn't hitting on her, I was being social. She was taking our order, did you want me to point at the menu in silence? Also how am I hard to talk to?"
Her: "I don't know. But it's hard to watch you with other girls."

Things like this have been more frequent as of late. She would bring up a problem and offer no explanation. It would often be followed with, "I don't know" or complete silence and her getting up and leaving my place. No matter how I try to angle it, she won't give me a reason or help me come up with a solution. I'm getting sick of it and everything she says is beginning to annoy me. I like her but I don't like this side of her.

Tips? I apologize if these problems seem amateur, like I said I never had to deal with this.

[ITstudent2006]

The biggest thing that jumps out at me is the fact that a conversation isn't started unless she starts it. Take this demeanor of hers lately to sit her down and speak with her. Keep it in a neutral place, neutral surroundings, and be honest and open with each other. Very few women actually act this way without having a reason. Something's got to be bothering her and if you see yourself staying with this woman, its both of your responsibilities to communicate.

You sound very wary of your surroundings as a man of your age should be. Another thing that is on my mind is the fact that you've played the field for X amount of years and have just now slowed your roll. Is this apparent in the way you walk, talk, and act? Could this be what's bothering her?

[Homegirl 50]

She is obviously not happy and you don't seem happy either. Maybe after 4 months the relationship isn't working.

[dudebroguy]

Threads have been merged for the whole story

I've been with my girlfriend for 5 months and we've come to be very fond of each other. Things are pretty dope, we are honest and jive well together. Just recently, my father and sister approached me concerned with my grandmother's health. Since we live in different provinces, I have decided that come end of March I will be moving back to my hometown to be with my family and spend the remainder of whatever time my grandma has left with her.

I don't know how much time she has left and I quite frankly, I cannot put a time cap on time spent with my family. My girlfriend understands and lately we've been discussing what options we have in terms of maintaining a relationship. Since there is no end date, I told her it was unfair for me to ask her to keep going on with me. She's still undecided.

Here's the twist: because I don't know how much time is left, I still have a mortgage to pay and an education to pursue and I still need to continue with my life after the move. I plan on applying for career jobs with transferability to pay my bills and what not, but the future is unpredictable.

I have plans of flying back once a month to see her, but I don't think our relationship can sufficiently grow without much physical presence. Sometimes the answer is obvious, but I don't want to let us go. It pains me to think about it but the timing is garbage. This girl is amazing.

Give me the truth real good.

[Oliver2011]

It sucks when you life hits you with a tough decision to make. This is your decision and only your decision to make. But consider this...

Your Grandmother has lived a long and productive life on some level I am sure. Grandmother's would want you to be happy and you to pursue your life at this point. What would be wrong with staying where you are and visiting your family once a month? If this girl is truly too amazing you might want to consider that.

What would your Grandmother want you to do?

[dudebroguy]

Threads have been merged for the whole story

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 6 months now and at about 3 months in I've began noticing a trend in her attitude toward adversity and life in general. I'm a very career oriented guy and I have always done what I could to help her along but she always finds a way to accept her circumstance and not do anything about it.

For example: she wants to work in early child hood development. It so happens that has a friend who is a manager at an early education facility. I made the call and set her up with a job, NOT an interview, a job. It was a matter of her calling my friend and asking when to start. 3 weeks has gone by and she has not made the call and when I asked about it, she had nothing but excuses. I'm upset that I'm sticking my neck out there for her and she is taking it for granted.

When I try to talk to her about it she always blames her upbringing and tells me to stop lecturing her. I'm getting fed up and I'm a true believer in surrounding yourself with people who improve your state of mind and drive. I'm just sick of always being a shoulder she cries on and does nothing to attempt to improve her situations. How can I make us work? I'm about leave her.


Sorry for the bad grammar, on my phone at the Airport on my way to see her for NYE. Wish me luck.

[Wondergirl]

I'm not so sure I would be happy with you either if you set me up in a job situation I hadn't asked for and knew nothing about. Don't try to turn her into you. Let her be herself and don't manage her life for her.

How old are the two of you?

[teacherjenn4]

Doesn't sound like a great relationship to me. What good qualities does she have?

[dudebroguy]

I asked her prior if she wanted me to put in a call. She said yes. We're both 22. I wouldn't have helped if she didn't ask or spent every other day complaining about how she can't get into whatshe wants

[Wondergirl]

Okay. That's new information -- that she had agreed to your checking into and maybe obtaining this job possibility, so that changes my answer. Have you asked her why she didn't follow up? And what did she say? "Leave me alone"?

[dudebroguy]

It's either she forgot or makes a promise that she will the following day.

[Wondergirl]

How much longer are you going to put up with this? Like teacherjenn asked, what good qualities are there?

[Alty]

You can't change her into who you want her to be, and it's pretty obvious that you're not fond of who she is. I don't blame you, she'd likely drive me nuts too.

The thing is, you can't make it work, because she's always going to be who she is. So you either love other things about her, enough to overlook these flaws, or there's nothing to salvage.

[talaniman]

Are you still leaving in March to be with your grandma? That would be a relationship killer for anyone if there was no end date in sight and this relationship is too new to expect some one to be in limbo.

I don't see much future for two very different people. Hope it was fun while it lasts.

[Enigma1999]

Unfortunately this is her problem and will always be...

This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, or even fun for that matter.

Why do you stay and put up with this?

[Homegirl 50]

You have been complaining about her for a few months now and the relationship is not even that old. Why are you still with her> She is who she is. Leave her or stop complaining.