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CarolBoiteux · Nov 1, 2012, 09:19 PM

Well, hello everybody. I'm 18 years old and I'm from Brazil. I moved out to Canada with my mom, dad and 16 years old brother 2 years ago. I'm also a senior girl at my school.

For the last couple of months I have noticed a difference in my mother. She used to tell me about depression running in my family and how her mother and grandmother died of depression (they jumped in a river and died like that, in the same river). Her lack of motivation is driving me and my dad crazy. She doesn't want to make dinner or do laundry which is forcing me to take care of the house while my dad works and my mom does nothing. Sometimes I do wish I could disappear, I always try to do something after school just to not go home and have to see her like that. We have been having fight over thing that does not even make any sense. Today she got mad at me just because I was cleaning the house, which she has not done in a big while.

As I said before, I'm a senior in high school, which means I'm struggling to study and go to a good university, but seeing her like that is just making my academic life fall apart badly. She was never like that before, when we were still in Brazil. Seeing her always in bed not talking to anyone is making me feeling bad for wanting to go to a college and have a -hopefully- great life. I don't know what to do anymore. I know that it is not up to me change her or anything, but my dad and I tried everything yet she is still quite bad. And it is getting worse each and everyday.

If anyone could help me, any kind of help would be truly appreciated. It might sound selfish but I've been thinking about suicide quite often nowadays, and I never felt so unloved in my own house like now. Please help?

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2012, 09:24 PM

She needs to be examined by a doctor and probably prescribed medication (and weekly see a counselor).

CarolBoiteux · Nov 1, 2012, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

She needs to be examined by a doctor and probably prescribed medication (and weekly see a counselor).

She did once and decided to stop taking the meds. She is also a doctor and she keeps telling us that she is not depressed but in fact she is. I love her and I just want thing to be normal again.

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2012, 09:30 PM

If she refuses, then you will have to barrel forward and ignore her. My grandmother stopped taking her meds as did her son (my uncle) when the meds made them feel good, so they thought they didn't need them any longer. Then it was back to the hospital for stabilizing.

If nothing else, go to a good counselor to figure out how you can best deal with this and move forward with your life.

CarolBoiteux · Nov 1, 2012, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If she refuses, then you will have to barrel forward and ignore her. My grandmother stopped taking her meds as did her son (my uncle) when the meds made them feel good, so they thought they didn't need them any longer. Then it was back to the hospital for stabilizing.

If nothing else, go to a good counselor to figure out how you can best deal with this and move forward with your life.

I have been ignoring her action this past week but I can't stop thinking that she might kill herself or something like that, so I keep checking to see if she's still alive while she's asleep. I can't just ignore her and go on with my life like nothing is going on. My whole family is also falling apart.

Wondergirl · Nov 1, 2012, 09:47 PM

Where is your dad in all this? Why family falling apart? You can't be the one who rescues everyone. Time to meet with a good counselor for a few sessions to figure out how to handle this.

joypulv · Nov 2, 2012, 01:13 AM

She's a DOCTOR? Can't she see that she may have a chemical imbalance that runs in the women in her family? And you are next (since you are already feeling suicidal)?

It would be wonderful if you could appeal the scientist in her to seek out some medical university specialist or study in depression there in Canada that really checks her in depth, her serotonin and perhaps female hormones to look for something that might be a clue to a real chemical depression. You should be tested too. Is she too depressed to be interested in that?
I don't blame her for not wanting to take anti-depressants because for many people they just don't work, and have side effects as well. She may get help with more specific studies rather than dwelling on situational depression.
If she won't look into it, somehow you have to free yourself from her for the rest of the school year. Can your dad afford to hire a housekeeper once a week?
Maybe YOU could look into being tested, with this starkly obvious family history. And that could help her, if you find some chemical imbalance brewing in you.