[amandamaddux]

I have a 3 year and my fiancé has a 7 year old daughter my son and fiancé don't seem to be bonding at all I kept my son away from my relationship for the first year because I did want him to bond with some one who wasn't going to always going to be a part of him life and over the last year I have brought him around my fiancé but my son seems scared of him my fiancé has never yelled at him or punished him in anyway so this is strange and alarming my son is normaly very social but now that we are planning on getting married I want my son and my fiancé to bond my fiancés daughter and I have started to creat a bond and its going great what should I do about my son and my fiancé

[Mommy2gio]

Create more opurtunities for the family to bond as a whole. Your three year old my be sencing your desperation for them to bond and it might feel forced. Is his dad in his life? He might feel threatened by your new guys presence. If your guy is trying to hard that might be making your little guy uncomfotable. Kids pick up on more then we give them credit for. M

[vlee]

The big secret here is TIME. Your son may only be three, but like all children, he is very perceptive and skeptical of change. Perhaps he fears that the new man and child in your life will leave less of you just for him. Perhaps he doesn't know how this new family fits together. My advice is to create very routine days for him, so he develops the security of knowing what to expect next. Also, set aside at least one distinct mommy and son time for a special activity just for you two each week, or more often if needed. This way he knows you are well aware of his need to be close to you and to not have to share you all of the time. It will show him that you will still make time for him, and that he is still your number one guy. On top of that, you need to introduce the concept of belonging to this new family to him in regular, small doses. Maybe you could all make dinner together, play a board game (trouble is easy and fun for both 3 and 7 year olds with a little help). Just remember to be patient. Your responses to his behavior and needs will shape the success of this family.