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    SF Native's Avatar
    SF Native Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 28, 2012, 11:52 AM
    Cremains
    I live in Northern California and my father passed away on 8/3/12 in Concord, CA at the home of his girlfriend. I am an only child and she has kept the ashes and will not release them. They were never married, she receives a S.F. City pension from her late husband and didn't want to lose the pension.

    My father signed a Health Care Agent form while he was quite ill since I live over 1 1/2 hours away. This was not what I wanted. I've been told by the hospital, funeral home and an attorney who I spoke to on the phone that the form gave her all rights to my father's ashes. I never received a copy of the form until 2 weeks before he died so had no time to research what it all meant. Apparently my father's sister paid for the cremation as the girlfriend indicated there was no money to pay for the ashes.

    I find it hard to believe that an only child of a deceased parent who had no spouse would not have the rights to their ashes. I do not want the ashes separated in any way, not even for a locket full. I want his ashes w/ me and my family.

    Is there anything I can do?

    Debra
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #2

    Oct 28, 2012, 03:15 PM
    Is there anything I can do?
    Anything legal?

    No.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Oct 28, 2012, 03:46 PM
    Sounds like your father chose who would be in charge, and he chose his girlfriend and made it legal. So no, you have no recourse.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

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