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    Jelly wife's Avatar
    Jelly wife Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 21, 2012, 09:39 PM
    Jealous of my husband's female friend
    I am new to this so bear with me, here it goes:
    My husband and I were married for 9 months now and we have his co worker's girl as our friend, at the start I don't think of anything negative, for I befriended that girl also, at first I thought we can get along very well because our husbands are somewhat has lots of similarities.. not until they get married.. they started having fights and the girl always tells me how lucky I am to have my husband, things was so OK until their marriage (I think) was failing and she always find my husband as a crying shoulder.. it made me really jealous for they text for hours.. I tried to confront the girl in a nice way that why not confide to me her problems instead of my husband? But my husband got mad at me telling me I am not trusting him enough.. but I am really really jealous what will I do?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Oct 21, 2012, 09:53 PM
    You are within your rights and your husband is not being considerate of your feelings. Do you read their texts ? And why for hours,

    Talking to another man is only going to cause more marriage issues for her. If her husband is also jealous.

    Sorry, others may not agree but I would tell him that unless he wants to start having trouble in his marriage, he had better put a end to this, no hours on text, when he is home, his attention is to be at home, If he talks with her a little at work, is one thing.

    My wife, she would just walk over take my phone, put it on the floor and stomp on it. If I ever did anything like that.
    Jelly wife's Avatar
    Jelly wife Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 21, 2012, 10:06 PM
    I have read some of the text messages and they are talking about the problems of her marriage life.. I mean, she considers me as a friend too but why not confide to me instead? She even wants to be fetch by my husband after work and we receive a lot of invites from her.. I was so confused
    Jelly wife's Avatar
    Jelly wife Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 21, 2012, 10:09 PM
    And one thing also... his husband has no idea that her wife is telling us about their situation..
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #5

    Oct 21, 2012, 10:53 PM
    Jealousy is an ugly beast to bear. You will often find yourself having irrational thoughts and mistrusting someone who has never given you a reason to be mistrustful.

    I believe that the appropriate thing would be to handle the situation with your husband directly. Of course you have to inform him that it isn't about trusting him. It's about the appropriateness of her using him as her shoulder at such a vulnerable time for her. If you discuss it with him on the level that it may be inappropriate to lead her to believe that he can be her shoulder and that she may develop feelings and it isn't fair to her.

    They are both being inconsiderate of your feelings on this matter and the fact is, it isn't a comfortable situation for you to be in. I would discuss your uncomfortableness with your husband first.
    Jelly wife's Avatar
    Jelly wife Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Oct 22, 2012, 01:48 AM
    I already did.. but it always end p in a fight.. telling me that I am ruining his image on his co worker(the girl's husband)
    .. I feel so hopeless..

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