Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    MattTheM4N352's Avatar
    MattTheM4N352 Posts: 9, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 1, 2012, 07:37 AM
    My girlfriend lied about being raped.
    She lied the first week and said she had been raped and that's why she can't be sexual very well. But then after all this time she finally comes out and says there's 2 other reasons.

    1. She's inexperienced (which she lied about she said she had a boyfriend before) and
    2. She has bad anxiety about herself and how she looks.

    I had to call her out multiple times about being inexpereinced for her to finally admit it. Also she won't admit being raped probably because I cut my arm bad one night. I was really drunk because I was so pissed about her being raped (39 stitches, surgery too) and she knows why I did it. She didn't get the attention she deserved by her father when she was little. I'd like to give a nice crack at him one time. I don't know what to do. I really like her but she's driving me insane
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #2

    Oct 1, 2012, 07:44 AM
    STOP. Now you want to beat up her father? STOP.
    Something is seriously missing in your relationship with her, and it takes two to act like this. It sounds like you aren't getting to know each other in slow, tender, steps.
    You both need to learn how to talk to each other more, so that lies aren't needed.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 1, 2012, 07:51 AM
    Let me see you cut yourself, and want to beat up her father.

    You have serious anger and drinking issues. This poor girl is much better without someone like you, please for her own good leave her alone
    MattTheM4N352's Avatar
    MattTheM4N352 Posts: 9, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Oct 1, 2012, 03:25 PM
    Yea she can't express herself openly with me.. but do you think she acualy got raped? Out of the 3 reasons she can't be sexual she only tells me 1 and that's being raped and finally comes out and says the 2 other reasons.. the rape thing was a coverup to spare my feelings I don't know
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Oct 1, 2012, 03:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by MattTheM4N352 View Post
    yea she can't express herself openly with me.. but do you think she acualy got raped?. outta the 3 reasons why she can't be sexual she only tells me 1 and thats being raped and finally comes out and says the 2 other reasons..the rape thing was a coverup to spare my feelings idk
    We don't know her, how are we supposed to know what happened to her? You need to find someone who can be honest with you. You're both wasting your time.
    MattTheM4N352's Avatar
    MattTheM4N352 Posts: 9, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Oct 1, 2012, 04:02 PM
    It might say you're an expert but you don't know . I'm asking here in this post if you guys think she acualy got raped. Reread it and answer. I don't need no in therapy. I'm going crazy over this girl. Literally.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #7

    Oct 1, 2012, 06:00 PM
    Ok, I read it... then I read it again. As much as I could make sense of from your writing... there's no way for us to really know if she was raped. How can we possibly know if she's lying or not? We don't know her, you do.

    With that said, I think she would be better off without you and your issues.
    MattTheM4N352's Avatar
    MattTheM4N352 Posts: 9, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Oct 1, 2012, 07:50 PM
    Trust me I got no issues. I got to solid job. I'm going to skool for welding. I got to car. Everyone likes me. 2 loving parents. But she's driven me insane because I want her to be normal so badly. Id do anything. But she's so happy with me. Her depression has gone down since we've dated and she stopped doing pills ina heartbeat. I can't breakup with her.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Oct 1, 2012, 08:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by MattTheM4N352 View Post
    trust me i got no issues. i gotta solid job. im goin to skool for welding. i gotta car. every1 likes me. 2 loving parents. but shes driven me insane bc i want her to be normal soo badly. id do anything. but shes soo happy wih me. her depression has gone down since weve dated and she stopped doin pills ina heartbeat. i can't breakup with her.
    For one, respect those who post here, they volunteer their time to help and know a lot more than you do about your own situation.

    Secondly..

    We don't know who she is, or know her or her past. We cannot tell you if she did or did not get 'raped'. Why can't you understand this?
    MattTheM4N352's Avatar
    MattTheM4N352 Posts: 9, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #10

    Oct 1, 2012, 08:06 PM
    I told you enough. She has 3 reasons she can't be sexual. 1. she's self concoius about her because its not he best look. 2. she's inexpereinced as hell and has no social skills. 3. she got raped. She never told me about # 1 and 2. instead she made up lies to cover hem up. BUT. She told me almost riht away that the only reason is because she git raped. She admitted to 1 and 2 ONLY because I called her out on them. And she probably felt like she needed attention. She never git any from her dad and from her peers.
    MattTheM4N352's Avatar
    MattTheM4N352 Posts: 9, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #11

    Oct 1, 2012, 08:07 PM
    She's self concous about her vagina, Sorry I am typing on a kindle
    Oh yea. And at first I could only fit 1 finger in her
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member
     
    #12

    Oct 1, 2012, 09:11 PM
    Wow Matt. You calling out a girl on her sexual experience, no wonder she lied about being raped. A lot of people sadly make up story's if it's there first time, just so it takes the edge off.
    And cutting yourself, really? Attention seeking much?

    This isn't about a relationship anymore. This is about a train wreck.

    As people have stated in a lot of post here. Most of us here know what we are talking about, you got people from all over the world and from all walks of life.
    Those of us who stay on this site and read 100s of posts of day, while some have been I'm relationship marriage, longer than you have been alive.

    So trust me when I say this. I know more about relationships than you do at this point.
    Just like you know more about drinking and car welding, it seems.

    You have all the advice you need on this thread.
    Your choice to take it or leave it. But we will not keep going on in a circular argument.
    MattTheM4N352's Avatar
    MattTheM4N352 Posts: 9, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #13

    Oct 1, 2012, 09:17 PM
    Wait. I NEVER called her out. She woukd never show me her never. She would always make me turn off the lights. I love how you think you know people just because you read posts. You just assumed I called her out. no. I called her out on being inexpereinced because she said she was and she said she had sex alit of times. When she didn't. I tlkes to her friends and I could only put 1 finger up there
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #14

    Oct 1, 2012, 09:21 PM
    So why do you keep mentioning one finger? What does that have to do with anything that you posted about? So you can only get one finger in there... so what?

    And you k now what? You did mention calling her out earlier but the way you write is so jumbled that it is confusing to read and make sense out of so I am sure TrueFaith simply got confused.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #15

    Oct 1, 2012, 09:26 PM
    Having sex does not stretch a woman out... sure, sure... that's the story but it's not true.

    And you say you're new to this but you can't be too new... you know enough to space the letters in your swear words to avoid being auto-censored.
    MattTheM4N352's Avatar
    MattTheM4N352 Posts: 9, Reputation: -1
    New Member
     
    #16

    Oct 1, 2012, 09:28 PM
    Don't focus on the finger part and just help me out. Thts all I'm looking for. I know for a fact she's a virgin and completely inexpereinced she admitted it

    So please if you will. Re read all of what I said about her and tell me what you think. I told you basically everything. And she lies to make her life not seem boring
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #17

    Oct 1, 2012, 09:55 PM
    How old are you both and how long have you been together? She lies because she is afraid. What she is afraid of is what talking would reveal. She may be driving you crazy because you don't or can't undersand where she is coming from.

    What do you mean when you say you wish she would be normal?
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
    Ultra Member
     
    #18

    Oct 1, 2012, 11:27 PM
    Just to let you know, if she was raped, ALL of the reasons she gave, are directly connected to rape.

    I suggest, if you are serious about this girl, and wanting to be with her, and she feels the same, you get couples counselling, and individual counselling for both of you, and anger management for you. Hitting things, and wanting to beat someone up, is a very noble gesture, but you need to learn how to deal with those feelings more appropriately.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #19

    Oct 2, 2012, 03:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by MattTheM4N352 View Post
    wait. i NEVER called her out. she woukd never show me her never. she would always make me turn off the lights. i love how you think you kno ppl just bc you read posts. you just assumed i called her out. no. i called her out on being inexpereinced bc she said she was and she said she had sex alit of times. when she didnt. i tlkes to her frends and i could only put 1 finger up there
    First we can only go by what you tells us. Sometimes we need to read between the lines.

    Sounds to me like you are putting too much of an emphasis on sex and she is uncomfortable with that. She likes you, wants to please you, but you are asking for too much. If you really like this girl, then slow down. If she has lied to you, then its because of the pressure you are putting on her. You need to examine your own priorities. Do you really like this girl or do you just want sexual gratification?

    Oh and a Kindle has a reasonably full keyboard. Site rules prohibit using texting abbreviations. If you want our help, then spend the time to type in full words and sentences.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
     
    #20

    Oct 2, 2012, 05:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by MattTheM4N352 View Post
    . she admitted to 1 and 2 ONLY bc i called her out on them.
    You mentioned this twice. In your original post and here... but there you have it. Your words.

    I may NOT be an expert on relationships, however, it doesn't take a moron to to see that yours is going nowhere!

    Bottom line is... you BOTH need some type of counseling. If she was raped, and she could have been, then she really needs time to herself. You don't (based off your posts) do seem capable enough to deal with her issues. Let me tell you this, if she were MY girlfriend, I would spend a little more time communicating/talking to her to make her feel at ease, and a little less time trying to drill It out of her! Oh, no pun intended.

    You say "everyone" likes you?
    ... now why do I find that hard to believe... You have managed to either insult ir pi$$ off most of the members that have donated THEIR time to try to help YOU. If you want respect, then you give respect.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

I lied about being raped. [ 9 Answers ]

I lied about being raped to my friends, because I had a bad life at home. I didn't get attention from anyone. I grew up seeing my sisters getting hit by my father. I would've taken the hits if it means anything. But When I was 15 I told a huge lie to one of my friends at school, and they believed...

Lied to old friends that I was raped, guilt is killing me? [ 2 Answers ]

So last year, I lied to my friends at the time that a guy we knew who had asked me to homecoming (and I turned him down, he creeped me out) had raped me. As soon as it was out of my mouth, the guilt started to press in on me. I'm bipolar and was in an impulsive, manic state, and then slipped into...

I lied To My boyfriend abnout my age,after he knew I lied to him about something else [ 11 Answers ]

Hey,Okay I met my Boyfriend on a chat zone we met on a date and I fell in love with him,and now I think I love him,But my conscious is bothering me.I told him I was 17 and Im actually 16,He just turned 20,2 weeks ago and now he thinks Im 17,and I want to come clean.I lied to him before and I told...

Lied to my boyfriend about being raped.wasn't raped at all.what do I do? [ 45 Answers ]

Well, I told my boyfriend a little back ago that I was raped by my mother's boyfriend, but I was never raped in the first place... the guy never even touched me. I felt like he was ruining my life (since it was the first guy my mom started seeing after my mom and dad divorced). So, I wanted him...


View more questions Search