[mmeade0038]

Good line....

And how does he excuse the clothing and hair directives?

He says that with how good certain cloths look on me, he doesn't want me to put myself in the path of potential harm from another. And on the hair, when it's down and loose, it's makes me more appealing than when it's pulled back. And he doesn't want other guys looking at me, because it might cause them to act upon their thoughts.

[Homegirl 50]

What kind of upbringing does he have? Was there a father in the home?
I think he is projecting his thoughts on to you. He has and control sexual issues

[mmeade0038]

What kind of upbringing does he have? Was there a father in the home?
I think he is projecting his thoughts on to you. He has and control sexual issues

Yes, he was raised by both his parents. But I know his mom is really strict, we're only allowed to talk on the phone for 30 minutes a day, and he only gets 200 texts a month, so we have to rely on Facebook a lot, but my mom has a bad habit of taking the internet box. And I know he's feeling bad about the kings Island thing, cause this is what he sent me just now "And I'd be okay if one day you hanged out with friends after school as long as you were back home before dark and not at their house or hotel or something I don't want you thinking I don't trust you."

[Homegirl 50]

That is crazy. He is manipulating you. He has not right to forbid you to go anywhere. That's crazy
There is no reason you should not go.

[Wondergirl]

"And I'd be okay if one day you hanged out with friends after school as long as you were back home before dark and not at their house or hotel or something I don't want you thinking I don't trust you."

I agree with Homegirl. He is projecting.

"I don't want you thinking I don't trust you." In other words, "I don't trust you."

[Homegirl 50]

If he tells you to give up all your friends, are you going to do it?

[mmeade0038]

But would there be a way to salvage the relationship? He means a lot to me. I'd hate to lose him.

[mmeade0038]

If he tells you to give up all your friends, are you going to do it?

No. Despite the fact, that I know of two friends for sure that would never let that happen. My friends are everything to me. B tries to make me feel bad when I'm with them, cause I don't talk to him as much, but I know that if he was with his best friends he wouldn't talk to me as much either.

[Homegirl 50]

This guy is not good for you. He is not good for anybody the way he is.
Do you not think you can get anybody else?
You can start telling him NO! You can go on that trip and dress the way you want, wear your hair the way you want. Let him know that he cannot control you.

[mmeade0038]

This guy is not good for you. He is not good for anybody the way he is.
Do you not think you can get anybosy else?

I haven't exactly had the best luck with guys in the past. My last boyfriend, S, after taking my virginity he left. No explanation... nothing. Until a few weeks ago when he sent me a message apologizing. It was when he left, that I met B. As a coping method, I focused on other people, and B had just gotten out of a bad relationship too. I told him that if he needed someone to talk to, I'd listen. He took me up on the offer and it built from there.
If I really wanted to, yes there probably is someone out there. But I'm not a person who has to be in a relationship to be happy.

[mmeade0038]

But if I would do that, I'm afraid that it would break any trust that is there.

[Wondergirl]

But if I would do that, I'm afraid that it would break any trust that is there.

You have to do everything HIS way so he will trust you?

Would he go with you for a few sessions of counseling?

[Homegirl 50]

There is no trust. He does not trust himself or any female, which is why he controls you.
You really need to leave this guy alone or not allow him to control you.

[mmeade0038]

You have to do everything HIS way so he will trust you?

Would he go with you for a few sessions of counseling?

If I would mention counseling, he'd freak out. We've only been together for seven months.
I mean, he'd worry that it was something major. He takes pride in the fact that we've never had a fight, although we have come close before.

[Homegirl 50]

How soon after his bad relationship did he start dating you? Let me guess, the girl cheated on him?
This guy needs some counseling and you need to be away from him.

[mmeade0038]

How soon after his bad relationship did he start dating you? Let me guess, the girl cheated on him?
This guy needs some counseling and you need to be away from him.

It was around a month. And yes she did. With one of her guy friends. Only she didn't even tell him when she was hanging out with her friends.

[Homegirl 50]

If I would mention counseling, he'd freak out. We've only been together for seven months.
I mean, he'd worry that it was something major. He takes pride in the fact that we've never had a fight, although we have come close before.

Of course you have never had a fight, you give in to everything with him.
This is not a healthy relationship

[mmeade0038]

I promised him I would never hurt him. I always try my best to keep my promises.

[Homegirl 50]

Hurting him and taking care of yourself are two different things. He is hurting you.
You had better start thinking about yourself.

[Wondergirl]

I promised him I would never hurt him. I always try my best to keep my promises.

So doing everything he says and never disagreeing with him is your way of not hurting him?