[momma5]

My son has autism. He is 6years old and he's on the moderate to high end of the spectrum but he still has his set backs. I understand autism has become a more open topic now with more and more children becoming diagnosed with it.. . but now my issue and question : when we go to public places my son is out of his comfort zone so to speak and acts out occasionally. Its not horrible but not everyone is as forgiving when he starts rambling about whatever. What is the polite way to go about when people start evil eyeing him? Normally I just try to remove him from the situation but with him getting older its not fair to him. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Wondergirl]

What I did/do with my autistic son is talk about situations before we went into them and discussed what he would encounter and how he could deal. Autistic people HATE surprises, so we tried not to let there be any. In between times, we role played all sort of situations while we were in the safe home environment.

You might want to work out a signal with him -- one that he can give you if he is frustrated and one you can give him if he is going over the top with his reactions. It could be a word or a gesture.

[momma5]

Thank you :-) our biggest hurdle is if he's out of his routine. So on nights when he's not in bed at straight up 8pm he acts out. Our friends are getting used to it so it doesn't bother them but it makes planning outtings trickier. Hes on meds to help but they wear off quick

[Wondergirl]

Can you lengthen the going-go-bed times by 10 or 15 minutes each night beforehand? Why would his bedtime have to be changed?

[momma5]

His bed time is 8 due to school. During the weekends I like to allow my kids to stay up a little later. But that 1 hour can toss his schedule so badly

[momma5]

I'm just using the bed time as an example.

[Wondergirl]

I totally understand how schedule changes--ANY changes--affect autistic children. Does he need to stay up longer?

[momma5]

Me and his pediatrician and specialist have been tossing up things to work on. He was just diagnosed this year ( 4/2/12) . We had gone to the park earlier today matter of fact which sparked this conversation because he'd brought a toy w him and when a little girl around 3yo tried playing with it he acted out and the little girls mother promptly got up and grabbed her daughter and marched off mumbling loud enough so I could hear her "some parents need to get a tighter leash on their kids"

[Wondergirl]

How did he act out?

[momma5]

He kept asking the little girl for his toy back which is something we have worked on ( used to just snatch it back ) well when the little girl didn't give it back he just kept asking. He didn't understand that the little girl was going to give it back after she played with it and he kept "bugging " her for it. Honestly the mother of the little girl acted out worse than any of the kids. The little girl finally got done playing with the toy ( or tired of my son asking for it) and gave it back.

[Wondergirl]

Sounds like some mothers (her) need to teach their kids not to grab toys away from other kids. Good thing to role play about.

[momma5]

Well definitely try it. The diagnosis is still new to us and with 4 other kids in the family we've all had to learn to adapt. I'm just not sure on proper etiquette... like maybe explaining to other parents or people we encounter that he is autistic... not misbehaved like obviously this woman assumed.

[Wondergirl]

I made sure my son knew he's autistic and understood that his brain is wired differently (but not in a bad way), so he sees and feels things that other people don't see and feel.

Read books by Temple Grandin (get them at the library) to find out what a treasure your son is.

Be sure to educate other people about your son and autism. It's a hot topic right now.

[momma5]

We had a 4 year old autistic boy drown about 2 years ago (before my son was diagnosed ) and since then its been Pretty talked about but there is still those people that just don't understand or just rather stay ignorant. My little guy kind of has an understanding (he knows he is special which is why he can't be in the same class as his sister ) but as far as going into depth I don't think he'd understand yet.

[Wondergirl]

Play it by ear and by his age as to what he can understand. Sounds like you are on the right track. My little boy is now 41 and has worked in a public library for 22 years doing what he loves (keeping things in order, handling books that he loves, doing odd jobs around the library, and feeling needed and appreciated).

[momma5]

That's my plan :-) my husband ( not the biological father ) has already commented about little guy going to work with him when he gets older. My husband is ridiculously over protective of my son. He's in an IEP program at school so he gets extra help as needed. They are working on him bring able to go to a "regular" class and stay on task through it.

[Wondergirl]

You will find (and probably already have found) that the social part of him is the most challenging. I wish you well, and be sure to always appreciate all the positive things he brings into your life. (If you ever need a list, ask me :).)

[momma5]

I appreciate it:-)