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Enigma1999 · Sep 23, 2012, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by Zahide

I told her she's rude to me and not to be scared.��

Here is an example of what I was talking about... You are calling her rude, THEN telling her to not be afraid. So, you're insulting her, then backing it up with comfort. You are going about this the wrong way.

How old is she now?

You two need some type of therapeutic supervision before she returns to you. She is afraid of you and your behavior. Children just don't make these things up. You damaged her, whether you think so or not, and here are the results of it.

You seem very unstable as a person AND as a parent. You need to seek professional help.

We are not talking about a spoiled 10 year old girl who didn't get the pink barbie at the store. NO. She is afraid of you. NOW why?

Enigma1999 · Sep 23, 2012, 04:57 PM

Originally Posted by Zahide

I wish I never let her go. I guess I never made her feel safe as a kid then? I feel sick but I don't deserve this ��

Yes. You do.

Harsh. But true.

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 05:03 PM

Rite... Ok let me get thus clear.. I mean she's afraid of me.. Supervision.. Are you for real. Yes I mite be getting it wrong but what I mean is that I'm telling her I understands if she's all happy their but at the end if day me keep moving is not because I'm unstable it was life throwing at me situations where I had to move. Scared of me.. Coz may be she knows it's wrong to want get dad and helps her block out Tge guilt and her dad brainwashing her.im going to get child pycatrist wich the ministry of justic will help with that as its all got to go to court. And they will see why because I am confused. As for unstable her dad made us homeless then went in to a refuge... Then moved to a temp accommodation and had to move again. So it a but unfair you saying that. I have never hurt my daughter in anyway. May be shouted at times of stress but that is all!!

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 05:09 PM

I don't mean to insult her. She can't tell me drop dead. And it's OK. It's wrong. I'm her mother also I'm sure her dad is grading her lies.ay be I came across insulting but it is wrong for her to say that. And yes I want her to know its not her I'm angry with its her dad letting her have a choice. I went through enough alone. And I get him to keep her just as we were so happy. Tgen I let him back inn and he twists things telling her I ran off with her. What a joke he made us homeless and left Tge countrie. Anyway I guess the chiled pycatrist will see.

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 05:12 PM

Also I want to know why she is the way She is. She hated her dad and I said his your dad he loves you always. Now she hates me?? Don't make sense! All will be settled in court and my daughter will be seen by a mutual pycatrist. And I'm glade. Get to the b

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 05:15 PM

Also I want to know why she is the way She is. She hated her dad and I said his your dad he loves you always. Now she hates me?? Don't make sense! All will be settled in court and my daughter will be seen by a mutual pycatrist. And I'm glade. Get to the bottom of this. Think you for answering. Ps my daughters dad wich I only found out is with mafia so I need to get her home ASAP I told the ministry over here and they are working on it quick. But I can't exactly tell her come home your not safe with your dad.

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 05:15 PM

Also I want to know why she is the way She is. She hated her dad and I said his your dad he loves you always. Now she hates me?? Don't make sense! All will be settled in court and my daughter will be seen by a mutual pycatrist. And I'm glade. Get to the bottom of this. Think you for answering. Ps I teally don't think I need Supervision with my daughter.

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 05:32 PM

Sorry 😊I posted too many times

Thank you for your help
I will keep you posted
Any more advice please post
Please help! Xx

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 05:36 PM

Pss I hope she wants me soon may be its just a bad patch and she enjoying her self. God knows. All she keeps saying she had a big party, going shopping and she's going to go to a great school. All I said was glad your having fun and I love you. But I can allow you to live with you dad. But you can see him on all your holidays. She said if I love her I will let her stay. But I can't I can't physically give her up. I can't do it😓

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 05:39 PM

He ignored all my calls for a while but answerd yesterday. I been calling about 4 times aday 😉I want her dad to know I'm not going to give up on my daughter. She isn't mature enough to know what's best for her. He answerd the phone today because I feel the ministry have been in touch with him. I'll find out tnrw xxxx😘

Enigma1999 · Sep 23, 2012, 05:49 PM

Do you have an attorney?

How old is she?

Did you sign any paper work when you relinquished her to her father?

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

Do you have an attorney?

How old is she?

Did you sign any paper work when you relinquished her to her father?

No I didn't sign any paper work.
She's just turned 8 on 9th September
I have the child abduction team helping me. And a soliciter
They will ask him to send her back if he refuses it will go to court. It's wrongfull retention they told me. For keeping her and not sending her back. She had a flight booked which she was not returned on.😓

Zahide · Sep 23, 2012, 06:25 PM

Originally Posted by Zahide

No I didn't sign any paper work.
She's just turned 8 on 9th September
I have the child abduction team helping me. And a soliciter
They will ask him to send her back if he refuses it will go to court. It's wrongfull retention they told me. For keeping her and not sending her back. She had a flight booked which she was not returned on.😓

I'm going to also report it to the police. Tmrw morning. I read on a site it should be reported which I wasn't told by ministry & abduction team... I have tried to be the best mum I can be considering my circumstances x
She was OK with me till the 4th week of her holiday she started being rude to me. Saying I don't love her or I would let her live their x

Enigma1999 · Sep 23, 2012, 08:31 PM

I still believe that you two should go to counseling, to help you two form a bond.

Look, I don't know your past circumstances, and I am sorry if I came off harsh in the beginning. I only went based off your first couple of posts, which did seem as if you were blaming her for your unfortunate situations. I DO believe that you love and care about her. Her father could be legit, then again maybe not. I am not familiar with the legalities dealing with this. However, I do know that if you two have shared custody, you can call the police if he refuses to give her back, unless a judge has granted him sole legal custody temporarily. However, that would happen if there was evidence of abuse.

Again, I don't know your past or current situation.

As for communicating with her, you just need to keep reiterating how sorry you were for her past. Also reassure her of your love for her.

Time will tell. There is a lot of healing that needs to happen.

Zahide · Sep 24, 2012, 02:09 AM

Ok thank you. I will keep you posted
I don't or her dad have custody of her x she lived with me all her life x

ScottGem · Sep 24, 2012, 03:06 AM

[QUOTE=Enigma1999;3279121Look, I don't know your past circumstances.[/QUOTE]

The OP started a new thread, which has now been merged with her original thread. It might help you understand what's going on if you review the whole story,

Originally Posted by Zahide

I have the child abduction team helping me. And a soliciter
They will ask him to send her back if he refuses it will go to court. It's wrongfull retention they told me. For keeping her and not sending her back. She had a flight booked which she was not returned on.

You said early the abduction team was going to speak to him. Did that happen> If so, what was the result?

Originally Posted by Zahide

I'm going to also report it to the police. Tmrw morning. I read on a site it should be reported which I wasn't told by ministry & abduction team...

Report what to the police? What site did you read that on? I don't believe that will do anything (though I doubt if it will hurt. But your local police really can't do anything. And the Cyprus police probably won't, otherwise the Hauge people would have done that!

What did your solicitor say about the hearing?

Zahide · Sep 24, 2012, 05:07 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

The OP started a new thread, which has now been merged with her original thread. It might help you understand what's going on if you review the whole story,

You said early the abduction team was going to speak to him. Did that happen> If so, what was the result?

Report what to the police? What site did you read that on? I don't believe that will do anything (though I doubt if it will hurt. But your local police really can't do anything. And the Cyprus police probably won't, otherwise the Hauge people would have done that!

What did your solicitor say about the hearing?

I'm reporting it because it's also meant to be iligal what his done 😓

ScottGem · Sep 24, 2012, 05:41 AM

What was illegal? His not returning your daughter? Yes and that's why the Hague group got involved. Once they got involved, it was the equivalent of reporting it to the police. As I said, your local police can do nothing. The Foreign Office may be able to do something depending on the treaties the UK has with Cyprus. But the Hague group will know about that. That is probably why no one said anything to you about reporting it to the police.

The problem you have is his filing for custody in Cyprus was the legal way for him to keep her. While there is a pending court case, he is not breaking any laws keeping her.

As I've been saying, your position is that Cyprus doesn't have jurisdiction and that she should be returned to the UK and he needs to file in the UK. Did you talk to your solicitor about that?

Zahide · Sep 24, 2012, 05:57 AM

I'm waiting for my soliciter to get back to me x
I been to Tge station. And yes your rite. Police can't do anything x😓

Enigma1999 · Sep 24, 2012, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

The OP started a new thread, which has now been merged with her original thread. It might help you understand what's going on if you review the whole story,

You said early the abduction team was going to speak to him. Did that happen> If so, what was the result?

Report what to the police? What site did you read that on? I don't believe that will do anything (though I doubt if it will hurt. But your local police really can't do anything. And the Cyprus police probably won't, otherwise the Hauge people would have done that!

What did your solicitor say about the hearing?

Ok. Now I have a better understanding.