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tianame · Sep 10, 2012, 07:25 AM

Hey... everyone... firstly... I am just a sensitive girl and I am 20. I’ve never been on a serious relationship before I met this great guy. He was my senior in school days before. He pops into my life and we fell in love totally. Day by day I love him even more and more. He told me he felt the same and he was such a sweetheart.

We meet up every day. He’d drop me off to college and pick me up and we'd spend time together occasionally. Everyday he'd call and text I and he'd be very desperate if I couldn't attend to his call. He made a lot of commitments to me and even introduced me to his family.

Prior to this he had a girlfriend and dated for 2 years and he assured me he got over her and that I am his present and future. We’ve been dating for a year now until last week he changed his attitude. I was surprised. I even asked him but he said he was busy.so I gave him his space. But this attitude did not changed but got even worse. Before this he had also left me once but after a week he called me up and wants us back together.

Now he told me he doesn't feel the same and want to leave me forever. I kept asking for the reason and was numb to hear that he want to get back with his ex. Now I am just stuck and I never expected him to ever say this to me because he has never mentioned to me about the fact that he can't forget his ex during the 12 months we were together. And now he is forcing me to move on. Please help because I love him so much and I can't let go of him

I love him but I felt betrayed because he made a lot of commitments to me and never mentioned before that he was not over his ex.

juventus88 · Sep 10, 2012, 06:34 PM

Sweety I know how you feel , I had a girl like that but now she says she wants to be back with the ex like in your case, I feel the same way you do I can't seem to let her go. Obviously this guy you are with has not completely got over his ex, just like my girl. You should read my post. I am in the same situation, but I told myself that I would just let her be, and you should too, just leave him alone, if he does come back its going to be hard to trust him, If you really see a future with this guy, then let time go by and let him figure out what he really wants, if he really cares for you he will be back, if you let someone you love go and it comes back, then its meant to be.

ArmstrongMiller · Sep 10, 2012, 06:55 PM

I am sorry to hear that... You still have so many beautiufl memories. And you know each other. So try your best to get him back. Come on.

teacherjenn4 · Sep 10, 2012, 07:03 PM

The guy left you once before and you took him back. Now, he left again to try to get back together with his ex. Why would you want him back? How often is occasionally, like you said you saw him while at college?

talaniman · Sep 10, 2012, 09:49 PM

I think you cut your losses and don't give him a chance to hurt you again. Not your fault you were in love and wanted to believe he was too, but obviously he was NOT!

tianame · Sep 11, 2012, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

The guy left you once before and you took him back. Now, he left again to try to get back together with his ex. Why would you want him back? How often is occasionally, like you said you saw him while at college?

Well I am just confused.. for a steady 10 months he had been a darling. And out of the blue he's telling me he's hoping to get back with his ex. like what am I? A joke to him? Or has he ever meant whatever promises he made because I still can't believe what I am hearing. And yes we would meet up like everyday before. He'd be like my knight in shining armour but now I don't know just really confused. And he told me he is done with me but he won't stop bugging me with his silly messages . I don't feel like responding to him because the words he said before we broke up just keeps replaying on my mind like every time...

Originally Posted by juventus88

Sweety I know how you feel , I had a girl like that but now she says she wants to be back with the ex like in your case, I feel the same way you do I can't seem to let her go. Obviously this guy you are with has not completely got over his ex, just like my girl. you should read my post. I am in the same situation, but I told myself that I would just let her be, and you should too, just leave him alone, if he does come back its going to be hard to trust him, If you really see a future with this guy, then let time go by and let him figure out what he really wants, if he really cares for you he will be back, if you let someone you love go and it comes back, then its meant to be.

I guess you are absolutely right... I can't control the situation.. I got to let it go..

justiconn · Sep 11, 2012, 09:21 AM

A lot of men are this way. They don't know what they want. Sounds like to me his love for his ex yes was still there and had stronger feelings for her so since he had the chance to have her back he took it. If they went through a lot being together there connection will be stronger.

As for his breaking up with you and then wanting to get back together. He thought he found something and thought he was going to get it but found out it was going to take a little more effort so in that sense he got back with you just in case he didn't get the other person.

I know this is a hard thing to deal with but a lot of men and women leave there current person there with to get back with an ex. Your not the only one out there. It has happened to me. The best way to deal with it is date other people. Have fun with friends. Stay occupied. One man is not worth the suffering. There are plenty out there better. I was in a lot of relationships and finally found that right one, You have to test the waters. Don't fall in love so easy make it a little harder.

tianame · Sep 12, 2012, 07:26 AM

Hmmmmmmmmmmm... its just hard for me to believe that he was the one to be after me for so long and made a lot of commitments which seemed so promising and about the fact with his ex he had once told me he was completely over her... and glad that I am the one for him... and I don't understand why would he change his mind now after making me love him? And he was always afraid of losing me but now he doesn't even care... why would he want to go back to square one with his ex ? I can't seem to forget him... I just love him so dearly and I always thought that we are d only two like no other third person.. but now seems like I am his second choice... I don't know what to do. And we even got physical.. a lot of times...

talaniman · Sep 12, 2012, 12:12 PM

You wouldn't be the first one who fell for sweet words that hid lies. I think we all have.

amicon · Sep 12, 2012, 12:39 PM

You move on because that's what we do-he wasn't who you thought he was or who he pretended to be-he was rebounding and using you.

You dodged a bullet-grieve,heal and chalk it up to experience.

tianame · Sep 13, 2012, 01:31 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

You move on because that's what we do-he wasn't who you thought he was or who he pretended to be-he was rebounding and using you.

You dodged a bullet-grieve,heal and chalk it up to experience.

Nw this guy won't stop texting me and now he is telling me that he changed his mind and he won't turn back to her... and again said that after getting a good job he will reutrn to me... I didn't ask for it but that's what he said again...

tianame · Sep 13, 2012, 08:02 AM

I just want to know if being friends with an ex boyfriend will help me get back with him... just recently broke up.. and he won't stop trying to contact me... he said that he would love to just be friends for a while and maybe when he get a job hel marry later... is this OK?

jsunshinekitty · Sep 13, 2012, 08:40 AM

It all depends on how your relationship was when you guys were together. If he was a total d*** to you then what's the difference now just cause you guys are friends and not together ? Me and about 92% of my exes (which is only like 5 lol) are all still really good friends, so it all depends also on how emotionally stable you are, and how emotionally stable he is. I hope this is helpful. =D

talaniman · Sep 13, 2012, 08:46 AM

Maybe she rejected him after breaking you two up, or maybe these are more lies. Leave him alone and don't give him your heart again. He lied before didn't he? What's changed? You followed your heart before remember? Where did that get you believing his words?

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 13, 2012, 11:33 AM

Friendships with ex's seldom work out. This is thanks to a very common emotion called jealousy. Getting back together with an ex also seldom works. This is mainly because when two people separate there's a reason and 9 times out of 10 that reason will come up again.

Forget about him and move on. It's really the easiest way to move forward.

stanmatt · Sep 13, 2012, 05:47 PM

How long have you been broken up? Always think first and explore.

talaniman · Sep 13, 2012, 07:00 PM

Threads were merged for the whole story

tianame · Sep 14, 2012, 07:16 AM

Nw this guy won't stop texting me and now he is telling me that he changed his mind and he won't turn back to her... and again said that after getting a good job he will reutrn to me... I didn't ask for it but that's what he said again...

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 14, 2012, 07:24 AM

Originally Posted by tianame

nw this guy won't stop texting me and now he is telling me that he changed his mind and he won't turn back to her.... and again said that after getting a good job he will reutrn to me.... i didn't ask for it but that's wat he said again...

Ignore him. It will make moving on much easier. He could just be trying to keep you on the line just in case things don't work out. Don't fall for it. You can do much better!

tianame · Sep 14, 2012, 07:34 AM

I love him you know... I can't imagine him with another girl... but I just don't know if I can let him go... I guess il just have to... and I even told him that what he did to me.. I just hope that it doesn't boomerang back to u... but he was like who knows I might boomerang back to u...