[anxious_me]

Hi guys. This is nikk. I love a girl for few years and now we are best friends. In the beginning I didn't even know her, then we became friends, good friends and then best friends.

From the beginning she knew that I love her, in fact at that time we stopped talking for few months but then we again started talking as she said she is guilty about that she had hurt me, and she wants me as a friend in her life.

But day by day, my feelings for her are getting stronger. She says that its not like that she doesn't like me, but she has feelings for no one, and she is not willing to get into a relationship right now. She believes in love, but not these boyfriend-girlfriend relationships as they complicate things. In fact I also used to think like this until I met her.

She also has two more best friends, a guy and a girl. The girl is just as an acquaintance to me, but that guy used to be a very good friend once. It seems to me that she is more close to him, than me, and she gives more importance to him. (May be this is the reason he is not that much good friend anymore) And this really pisses me off. Sometimes it looks like the whole god damn world is important to her than me.

I really love her, and if it continues to be like this, I'll keep waiting and one day she will fall for someone and go with someone else. I also told her this, but she says how can I be so sure about it and I should not think what will happen tomorrow. And she won't leave me alone.

I don't know if she loves me or not, but I really love her. I am like one who cannot easily express his feelings, and I am too possessive and insecure (might be just because she is not in my life right now and I fear I will lose her to some one else)

I don't do those all good sweet things for her as I think I might irritate her as if a girl whom I don't like do to me, I get really pissed off.

Can't she stop talking to me if she doesn't feel the way I do, or she doesn't like me. Why did she even talk to me again.

Please help. How can I make her mine.. or what shall I do?


PS - it's a bit complicated and a bit too long. Sorry about that as I cannot further summarize it.

[amicon]

She doesn't want a relationship ''right now'' so respect that and move on.
You can't force feelings.

[fuego750]

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL CAUSE IT Happened TO ME. She show you that she's not interested in you at all. So in order to diminish your feelings for her you need to cut her off for at least 2 years, NO contact what so ever and please don't ask for her to other people or look for her whereabouts on line, change your focus, that way you open the possibilities of meet other people and see what life brings you, but I have the feeling that she is more into the other guy because of your feeling for her and she don't want to hurt you. But don't be surprised if she end up with that guy (life is full of surprises). CHANGE YOUR FOCUS! GOOD LUCK!

[anxious_me]

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL CAUSE IT HAPPEND TO ME. She show you that she's not interested in you at all. So in order to diminish your feelings for her you need to cut her off for at least 2 years, NO contact what so ever and please don't ask for her to other people or look for her whereabouts on line, change your focus, that way you open the possibilities of meet other people and see what life brings you, but I have the feeling that she is more into the other guy because of your feeling for her and she don't want to hurt you. But don't be surprised if she end up with that guy (life is full of surprises). CHANGE YOUR FOCUS!! GOOD LUCK!

I thought about it earlier, actually I tried to give this a try. I stopped talking to her, after I asked out once, we were quite good friends that time too.. it became very difficult. Both of us were dying to talk to each other.

She also says that we 3 are her world to het. If I will say that I don't want to talk to you any more, this might hurt her, and I simply don't want to do that. :(

And yes, all of our common friends used to say that she likes me, but she is not ready to accept it. Even that guy used to say this!

Shall I wait for her, its for around 6 years that I love her.. can let her go too easily..

She doesn't want a relationship ''right now'' so respect that and move on.
You can't force feelings.

Even I don't want to force, and even I never did that.
I just want to know if there is anything that can I do to convince her.. or does she loves me or not so that I should wait for her..

[talaniman]

Why can't you enjoy the friendship, but talk to other girls? Date them even? Because you are stuck on one and can't see anything but her, right?

In love for 6 years? That's a long time to be stuck on one, and just think of all the other options and opportunities you have missed. Geez guy, explore and experiment while you are young, and keep your friend, just not as much.

If they need convincing, chances are they may not be worth it. But I would be her friend, and still make time to do my thing.

Then maybe you won't be so jealous, insecure, and resentful when she talks to others.

[anxious_me]

Why can't you enjoy the friendship, but talk to other girls? Date them even? Because you are stuck on one and can't see anything but her, right?

In love for 6 years?? Thats a long time to be stuck on one, and just think of all the other options and opportunities you have missed. Geez guy, explore and experiment while you are young, and keep your friend, just not as much.

If they need convincing, chances are they may not be worth it. But I would be her friend, and still make time to do my thing.

Then maybe you won't be so jealous, insecure, and resentful when she talks to others.

It is not like I don't talk to other girls, I do. By I am not that much available to them .
Even some girls have asked me out,but I didn't like them much so I did say no them. I think just because I'm stuck at her.
Even I tried to become less available to her,and it bothers me as well as her. She starts saying I don't call her and stuff.
I think if could be much easier to get over her if she was dating some guy,so that I knew that I should move on.

Actually, the problem is that I think some day it might be possible that she'll love me.

Thank you :)

[talaniman]

Until that happens why not enjoy the full experiences of your youth, instead of betting on high hopes? I mean how do you KNOW who you like unless you check them out, or give them a chance to check YOU out.

You sure ain't going to change her mind by just being available to her all the time. Why settle for friend zone and hope she changes her mind? All that wasted opportunity for fun because you are stuck on wanting something that may NOT happen.

[anxious_me]

Until that happens why not enjoy the full experiences of your youth, instead of betting on high hopes? I mean how do you KNOW who you like unless you check them out, or give them a chance to check YOU out.

You sure ain't gonna change her mind by just being available to her all the time. Why settle for friend zone and hope she changes her mind? All that wasted opportunity for fun because you are stuck on wanting something that may NOT happen.

Thnk u very much!

Now I'll try to do this.. appreciate your advice !