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    lifesaver05's Avatar
    lifesaver05 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 6, 2007, 08:36 AM
    My girlfriend kissed a girl!
    :eek: I have been with my girlfriend for four years. I am 27 and she is 24. Never in that time has she shown any indications that she wanted to kiss another girl or view other females in a sexual fashion. Also, in 4 years neither of us have cheated and we trust each other completely.

    She got very drunk at a party last week and another co-worker asked to share her toilet (in a busy night club). She then apparently kissed my girlfriend and I guess she liked it or was curious because they kissed another three times that night and at 4am in the morning my girlfriend told her that she felt it was all too weird and they both went home. The next day my girlfriend called up this other woman who denied anything ever happened.

    Three days later my girlfriend asks for a break straight out of the blue. Myself and her family were shocked as we did not see that coming! She said she was confused about her life and needed time to think things through. I stayed strong for three days and let her call me and on the 4th day she said she definitely wanted to be with me. She seemed a little strange though and when I sensed something was wrong I pressed for a reason and she told me what happened. I was shocked as I guess as I never thought she would do anything like that!

    Please understand, in 4 years I have never known her to flirt with another man let alone kiss someone else. We have had absolute trust and it has made our relationship really meaningful. I guess I'm just confused as to how I'm supposed to feel about this. Her Mother and I had a chat the other night and I told her what happened. Even she said don't worry about it, if she didn't cheat with a guy there is nothing to worry about!

    My questions are:

    -Has anyone else had a Gf who has done this?

    -Should I consider this cheating?

    -She absoluted cringes when I ask her if she is Bi or Lesbian. She says it was just an experience and she would not do it again... Should I have faith that she won't or do girls continue this behaviour once they have done it once?

    Please help. Because she is a Flight Attendant she is constantly surrounded by good looking girls and now every time she hangs out with other girls after her days are done I feel kind of strange! Lol

    Thanks
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #2

    Mar 6, 2007, 08:42 AM
    Firstly welcome :)

    Mmmmm this is tricky. I have had this discussion with my hubby, and I asked him several times if I kissed a girl while I was out alone.. would he consider it cheating and well his answer was YES Of course its cheating...

    I must admit I have kissed girls 2 or 3 can't remember, in a drunken frenzy! Twice - I was single at the time, but once I kissed a girl in front of my husband at a New Year Eve party, it was not passionate or anything, just girls being silly, I didn't go back to kiss her 3 times though that night! All the other guys kept egging us on (obviously) while my husband just gave me this look.

    To me, it didn't mean anything...
    Lowtax4eva's Avatar
    Lowtax4eva Posts: 2,467, Reputation: 190
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    #3

    Mar 6, 2007, 08:53 AM
    That is awesome... wait that wasn't helpful, sorry

    My wife kissed a girl at my birthday party a few years back and nothing came of it, I thought it was interesting to watch! Sounds like maybe she regrets it, I don't know if you should consider it cheating, that's part of your beliefs on the subject of cheating, all I wanted to say is it may not change your relationship so don't worry too much.
    Tuscany's Avatar
    Tuscany Posts: 1,049, Reputation: 229
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    #4

    Mar 6, 2007, 08:55 AM
    I have to agree with Krs on this. I too have kissed a few girls (mostly when I was in college), but it did not mean anything. I would have to say that I would not consider it cheating for her to do this. However, if a relationship continued with this woman then yes, that would be cheating. However, she says that she would not do it again. I would tend to believe her on this... but that is your call.

    Right now, I would just chalk it up to experimenting on your girlfriend's part. Now she has experiemented, realized that she loves you, and wants to come back. The ball is in your court as to if you want to let her.
    cheybutter3's Avatar
    cheybutter3 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 6, 2007, 04:38 PM
    Just because your girlfriend kissed a girl does NOT mean she's bisexual or gay. And this is coming from a LESBIAN, OK... I have a few straight friends that sometimes kiss other girls, it's definitely an experimental thing... most women go through it... maybe your girlfriend was dealing with something on the inside and she needed to work through it on her own.

    But the bottom line is that she told you she wants to be with you and she won't do it again. So you should believe her if you have had absolute trust in the past. There's no reason to doubt her, just because she got a little tipsy and kissed a girl.
    aprilj's Avatar
    aprilj Posts: 21, Reputation: 3
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    #6

    Mar 6, 2007, 04:52 PM
    OMG seriously? You are so over reacting. Which let me tell you your over reacting and talking to her mother about it has done nothing but embarrass her and make her uncomfortable just by the thought of it. IT Isn't CHEATING. It is different with girls, straight girls. So many straight girls kiss their friends when they are drunk. It means absolutely NOTHING. It is just something we do. She will grow out of it. Most boyfriends love it, but with the attitude that you have towards it and taking it so personal, Im sure she will never do it again. Give the poor girl a break, she isn't married to you and if she feels the need to experiment, allow her to do that, or she will regret you for it. Don't judge her and ask her if she is a lesbian, that is just uncalled for. Seems the poor girl is just a little repressed and needs to some fun.
    pandabearatwafflehouse's Avatar
    pandabearatwafflehouse Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Mar 6, 2007, 06:02 PM
    Me and my boyfriend are open about our relationship and he does not mind if I kiss other woman, but he always consents and is usually involved too. I think it is cheating if he does not know. Although I was like your girlfriend at one time and people change all the time. Does not mean she does not want you and she may have been just (drunk) but it all comes out in the wash as they say. Maybe you should be open to her and try to resolve this together, just talk to her ask her questions and don't put her down. Be glad that she is willing to talk to you about it.
    Mr Pink's Avatar
    Mr Pink Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Jun 25, 2008, 05:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by aprilj
    OMG seriously? You are so over reacting. Which let me tell you your over reacting and talking to her mother about it has done nothing but embarrass her and make her uncomfortable just by the thought of it. IT ISNT CHEATING. It is different with girls, straight girls. So many straight girls kiss their friends when they are drunk. It means absolutely NOTHING. It is just something we do. She will grow out of it. Most boyfriends love it, but with the attitude that you have towards it and taking it so personal, Im sure she will never do it again. Give the poor girl a break, she isnt married to you and if she feels the need to experiment, allow her to do that, or she will regret you for it. Dont judge her and ask her if she is a lesbian, that is just uncalled for. Seems the poor girl is just a little repressed and needs to some fun.
    I totally disagree... it's NOT over reacting, and maybe the girl SHOULD be embarrassed and made to feel uncomfortable, After all, did she not embarrass her boyfriend by acting so foolishly? By all means "experiement" if you are single, but if you're seeing someone you should respect their feelings and think before you act. It sounds to me the girlfriend isn't mature enough to deserve such devotion from her boyfriend. Also, most boyfriends DON'T love it... imagine it the other way around... how you girls would feel if your boyfriend who you love and trust completely , suddenly decides to kiss a guy, THEN having the nerve to suggest you and he take a break because of it, while saying its not cheating because it's not another girl... still feel OK about it? Thought not
    Lowtax4eva's Avatar
    Lowtax4eva Posts: 2,467, Reputation: 190
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    #9

    Jun 25, 2008, 05:45 PM
    This was a year and a half old post and no matter how he took it they probably broke up by now.
    jiltedgirl's Avatar
    jiltedgirl Posts: 125, Reputation: 23
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    #10

    Jun 25, 2008, 07:18 PM
    I've kissed a girl, and I wish I could say I liked it (sorry, Katy Perry... ). Alas, I was too inebriated to realize it had even happened. I was in a relationship at the time so felt guilty nevertheless. Honestly though, it was meaningless, and her boyfriend was right there as well apparently.

    Your girlfriend sounds like she was confused and a little guilty, but has gotten over it. I wouldn't worry about it and give her the benefit of the doubt, unless she's realized she might have same sex tendencies and wants something more with this girl.

    Best,
    J
    broken12's Avatar
    broken12 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Jun 26, 2008, 08:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lifesaver05
    :eek: I have been with my girlfriend for four years. I am 27 and she is 24. Never in that time has she shown any indications that she wanted to kiss another girl or view other females in a sexual fashion. Also, in 4 years neither of us have cheated and we trust each other completely.

    She got very drunk at a party last week and another co-worker asked to share her toliet (in a busy night club). She then apparently kissed my girlfriend and I guess she liked it or was curious because they kissed another three times that night and at 4am in the morning my girlfriend told her that she felt it was all too wierd and they both went home. The next day my girlfriend called up this other woman who denied anything ever happened.

    Three days later my girlfriend asks for a break straight out of the blue. Myself and her family were shocked as we did not see that coming! She said she was confused about her life and needed time to think things through. I stayed strong for three days and let her call me and on the 4th day she said she definately wanted to be with me. She seemed a little strange though and when I sensed something was wrong I pressed for a reason and she told me what happened. I was shocked as I guess as I never thought she would do anything like that!

    Please understand, in 4 years I have never known her to flirt with another man let alone kiss someone else. We have had absolute trust and it has made our relationship really meaningful. I guess I'm just confused as to how I'm supposed to feel about this. Her Mother and I had a chat the other night and I told her what happened. Even she said dont worry about it, if she didnt cheat with a guy there is nothing to worry about!

    My questions are:

    -Has anyone else had a Gf who has done this?

    -Should I consider this cheating?

    -She absoluted cringes when I ask her if she is Bi or Lesbian. She says it was just an experience and she would not do it again....Should I have faith that she won't or do girls continue this behaviour once they have done it once?

    Please help. Because she is a Flight Attendant she is constantly surrounded by good looking girls and now everytime she hangs out with other girls after her days are done I feel kind of strange! lol

    Thanks
    Um it sounds to me like your girlfriend is bi-curious and just because she didn't cheat with a guy doesn't mean she won't cheat with a girl. I don't know her background or anything more about your relationship I'm just saying not to rule out the possibility that she may be bi-curious.
    DeathSpeedTribe's Avatar
    DeathSpeedTribe Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jul 9, 2008, 07:26 PM
    Why is it any different? If I got drunk at the bar and made out with a dude, I'd probably get my as kicked on the spot. I see no difference or reasoning why it's OK for drunk straight girls to kiss. Look dude- she's not gay, yes it was cheating, but main thing is that it's just trashy. It's cool when your buddy's girlfriend makes out with a girl- not your girlfriend. Am I right? Anyhow, I'm in a similar spot- and actually joined this site so I could put my 2 cents in. I really love my girlfriend and want to get her that ring she keeps asking for, but I don't know if I want to marry a chick who did stuff like that, amongst other college "experimentation" (cocaine, bikini contests, etc.) Whatever- take it for what it's worth-
    FilthyDFC's Avatar
    FilthyDFC Posts: 44, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jul 10, 2008, 01:42 AM
    I don't want to be that guy... but I'd take her and her friends out and get them drunk again.

    Just sayin' :/
    lilthechic's Avatar
    lilthechic Posts: 26, Reputation: 0
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    #14

    Jul 10, 2008, 03:38 AM
    The honest truth is your girlfriend is undergoing a phase. If she comes out whole, to God be the glory otherwise she could come out torn in pieces and enjoying lesbianism like no man's business. You cannot force her to do anything or curb her confusion. Leave her alone and let her sort herself out, however let her know you are there whenever she needs you. Its just the devil messing with her. I suggest you pray for her if u love her and if u believe God exists.
    sadgirl123's Avatar
    sadgirl123 Posts: 12, Reputation: -1
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    #15

    Jul 10, 2008, 10:19 AM
    Get Over It!! She Was Drunk!! I Am Pretty Sure That If You Were As Drunk As Her U Could Have Done The Same Thing But With A Guy!! Stop Being Over- Dramatic About It!! And Also People Make Mistakes When The Are Drunk!! Get Over It And Be A Man!!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #16

    Jul 10, 2008, 10:56 AM
    Okay, first person... Lilthechic - Please keep your religious beliefs and constant "pray to god" stuff to the religious forums as they don't belong here, you immediately damn any person who does not "have god in their life" and constantly suggest prayer is the only way someone can be saved.

    Sadgirl - Drinking is not an excuse, it's a choice. If one cannot handle their alcohol, then don't drink! Plain and simple, I am 21, have been drunk beyond belief(did not drive) and never once hooked up with a member of the same sex or even THOUGHT about it. Also, have never had a one night stand or drunken kiss at a bar with a random girl. I have had drunken hook ups with the girl I was seeing at that time, but that was sober to.

    So you think that a drunk driver who kills a 4 year old playing catch should be forgiven too? I mean it was just a mistake that he made while drunk.
    freezermf's Avatar
    freezermf Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Jun 14, 2009, 09:13 PM
    :cool:My GF of 3 year and I went out to someone's birthday. We all ended up getting pretty drunk.So later on my Gf starts making out with some girl who has a boyfriend. I get so mad I knocked the boyfriend out cause that's only person I could think I could take it out on. The cops came threw me in the back of a car but release me after talking to them but gave me a public intoxication ticket. I was so mad at her and she never has given me a real explanation for it. We are still together but it still bothers me tremendesly. Not only do I have to be worried about her with guys but now girls also. She just tells me it not to worry about it and it means nothing. All I know is I ing hate that "i kissed a girl and i liked it" song Karry Perry can suck my left testicle ( because it's the stinkier of the two) so I feel your pain you are the only one who judge if that is going to happen again besides your Gf
    P.S girls are @#&ked
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #18

    Jun 15, 2009, 06:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lifesaver05 View Post
    -Has anyone else had a Gf who has done this?

    -Should I consider this cheating?

    -She absoluted cringes when I ask her if she is Bi or Lesbian. She says it was just an experience and she would not do it again....Should I have faith that she won't or do girls continue this behaviour once they have done it once?

    Please help. Because she is a Flight Attendant she is constantly surrounded by good looking girls and now everytime she hangs out with other girls after her days are done I feel kind of strange! lol

    Thanks
    1) I have had a girlfriend who did this, I didn't like it either. We nearly broke up that night and in retrospect I should have instead of wasting another nine months on her.

    Girls who kiss other girls at parties do it to get attention from guys. If they really liked each other they'd probably make out privately. Each one is just as bad as the other.

    2) Yes, this is cheating.

    EDIT:

    Didn't see the date of the post, this is an old thread. Sorry folks, rookie mistake.
    vexxev's Avatar
    vexxev Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Jul 11, 2009, 08:46 AM
    My girlfriend is bi, and has brought it up before. I look at it this way. If you're a chick and you're bi that means you are attracted to men, and women. If you mess around with either of them its cheating. Why should your girlfriend be able to mess around with someone she's attracted to, but you can't? Just cause she's a girl kissing another girl has nothing to do with it. The fact is she's a girl kissing another human that attracts her. In my opinion it's the same thing as if you kissed another girl... just another human you're attracted to. Cheating is cheating.

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