Try involving a vibrator, they most certainly spice up your sex life, you may surprise him, I find my partner loves getting head while there's a gentle vibration on his nuts gets him going every time, as for the anal, you need to relax and have complete faith in him that's he's going to be gentle, also I know it sounds bad, but buy a small buttplug and keep it in there for a couple of hours during the day, that should open you up a very tiny bit to get that area used to "being poked".. with the shyness of it all, remember you're a couple, there's nothing to be embarresed about, show him a completely different wild side, and I'm just about sure he'll every time.
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