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He cheated?
I can't go into much detail as It happened very recently. But he went out Thursday night with a friend. A finally said yes please go have fun bowling etc. well Friday morning he told me that he cheated. They started the act but then he told her no he couldn't and got up and left. He never completed the act. He said it wasn't but a couple minutes and he just couldn't go through with it. And his friend told me the same and I believe he friend because he was really mad about it and them two fought over it. His friend was there and said he wasn't in thee for more then a few minutes. But there was penetration. He says that's all there was. He never kissed her etc.
I'm hurt beyond words and you know not a the act of what he done. But that he could do it. I believed all the time he said he would not ever do that to. Im hurt because he could do it. Though he did not complete it. It isn't the act it's that he went through it. He is so being the best guy I ever had as in how to act after cheating on me. All my exs cheated on me and never treated me good afterwords. He has burnt all cloths and sits and talks to me. He won't leave my side. He is holding me and loving me. I do give him kudos for not finsihing. I know he is truly sorry, I'm just so hurt. He is forgiven. But I want to get over the hurt. He is everything I have always wanted and needed as I said in earlier post. Just want to stop hurting. |
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Stay by his side I am going through the same thing with my girlfriend but I didn't technically cheat but I know I've hurt her a lot. If you really find that he is sorry then stay with him amd work it out . Throughout relationships there are going to be obstacles you can either overcome and learn from or just let you give up on the relationship completely. Stick with him is my advice
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He's a bum. So what that he didn't finish... he still got into it and there was "penetration"... the intent was there and it was still cheating.
Oh yeah, he's wonderful all right. He knows he's an idiot and now he's scared he will lose you unless he convinces you how wonderful he is and how sorry he is for doing it... but isn't he great for only penetrating and not finishing? He's awesome! What a guy! He didn't finish! He really must love you! Seriously... it's up to you but I wouldn't put up with it. It's likely he will wind up doing it again sometime as you have just shown him that you will forgive him if he does it again. |
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No this isn't the first. Every one of my bf's cheated on me. Just I thought... I don't know what the hell I thought. I'm confused, hurt, lost. I never wanted to feel this way with him! Not with him!! And here I am once again dealing with being hurt this way. All my life I have wanted just one man to be happy with one woman (me). I am 36 and have yet met one. :(
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I bet he believes someone saw him and only told you before someone else would tell you first... I.E. getting caught.
Like I said... he didn't do something he didn't want to do. Women can sleep wioth someone they don't even like... a guy has to have his heart in it if you get my meaning. |
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 Originally Posted by Synnen
From a guys perspective... his heart being in it means he was really wanting to do it... not from the sense of having any real feelings emotionally for the woman. Which I agree to a man are two very different topics. |
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I don't know smoothy. I'm just not doing good. I'm very lost on it all. He I think may be doing worse than me. Idk. But the "friend" he was with and pressured him into this crap he called and told him to just stay away. I am not sleeping unless taking something to help me sleep. The last two days only 2 hours sleep because I'm tired taking meds to sleep. I'm hurt beyond words
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Originally Posted by CoruptedAngel
And trust me here... I'm a guy, if I didn't want to sleep with a woman , I'd just tell her I wasn't interested, but I appreciate the thought. I'm married... don't you think I've seen more than a few women I'd LOVE to have slept with? Well if you say yes.. you'd be right... and I have made the choice not to. I actually saw one last night that thank goodness there is zero chance of her coming up to me... because she WAS that incredibly well built... and I couldn't have said no to that one... yes, I actually told my wife about it too... she looked at me and said "like you really have a chance with her anyway" which was right since I am well over 20 years older than her as a guess. Yes we have that kind of relationship we can talk about these things... Guys can pressure a woman to have sex, all she does is spread her legs... very few guys will get an erection if he's being forced or pressured to... he wanted this... and he knows it. Women can be aggressive when they want something... but I would not call it pressuring... I'd call it seducing... way different meanings between the two. |
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I have done wrong in our past. But I took my punishment for it for two years. With me honestly smoothy sex is just sex ( not love ). A few minutes of pleasure. Sins of the flesh. His act is not what hurt me. It's the fact he could do it. And only because it just is not his character. Our relationship was very complicated from the start but well worth all today. We had only grown the last few years and I am just shocked. I heard of his digniity,pride,honor,faithfullness and promised to never betray our love. He is all about honesty and has never lied to me. Like he came home and told me right away. I have not lost my trust in him just in disbelief that it was done. When he walked in that morning I said you look different and antsy. I would have never imagined. The guilt and grief is here for him. It isn't an act. I do already forgive him I still cry and feel so empty but once again now because of the act but that he could do it. Him, his heart betrayed his word to me.
I will not hate him for this. I have only clinged harder. I have said no harsh words only words of love. He said he will not let me suffer and do time for something he did. He said it is not and was not his intention. And it is not fair. He is paying his dues to me. I guess I sound really stupid right now. But I have never loved this way and I do know in my heart this will never happen again. He has stepped up and told his parents. His mom being the worse to be told. He has told that "friend" stay away never come back. Lost and still confused and Hurt Corrupted Angel |
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I guess I must sound pretty dumb. Crying over what he done to me but standing by him and defending him huh smoothy? Believe it or not I have a low opinion of most en. They have to prove to me they are indeed a man. I thought I had found the one that had. Me and my brother in law had a discussion lastnight and he said if most men are what I said then most women are too. But I told him that for the "whores" out there that little whore part in the said females are because females indeed share something from the males "a rib". So where you guys ( not saying you )thinnk with your penis most of the time the women that think with their vajaja is because God cursed us with a male part.
I'm sure I will get a few dislikes fro that statement but I don't know. Maybe I am just rambling. Just to have something to say. I do always enjoy your thoughts and comments. So maybe I'm just trying to push your buttons lol. But things here are quiet. And at times I say something out of the blue to him and he just says he deserves it. Nothing hateful or anything just something pertaining to his night out. Kill them with kindness is a very true term. It is eating his guts out that I'm not being what he thought I would concerning this. |
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Originally Posted by CoruptedAngel
First off, there are a lot of decent men out there. Unfortunately you just haven't found him yet. You are young and have many years to figure it out. Perhaps being alone for now might be your best bet. Focus on yourself for now. Secondly, sure he is very sorry for what he has done... but is it really fair to keep making little comments here and there to him? How long will that continue? Either you accept what he did and STOP with the comments OR end it wirh him. The reason I say that is because you can't continue to throw this up in his face... Does this make sense? |
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