[JudyKayTee]

He had no choice. I made him marry me. He may hate it, I don't know.

Our son will never marry or drive or have friends, so he should kill himself?

And this is why you are my dear friend, why I trust you totally, why you do good work, how you get to the point. I enjoy the "where is the person going, what is this person doing" aspect... and you focus in on the "why." I knew you would get around to your husband and son. Always brutally honest, sharing, helpful. Shakes me back to the reality of other people's lives every time.

Sometimes a thread has to be shaken up to change direction and get to the chase. Someone has to be the enemy. I do have to smile. Someone else got there before I did - but I'm the enemy.

Cranky? That's a much nicer word than the usual description I heard. That other word also ends with "chy" and starts with a "b."

I hate wearing a black hat on these hot days.

[redlipsticklena]

I have never had a client who was a "lost cause"!! There is no such thing.

Then you are missing the boat on what therapy is. The counselor figures out the client, and the client figures out the counselor,. Once they get each other figured out, they work together to get things done.

No, they are NOT using their life as a measurement. My autistic son is capable of certain things, but I don't demand that he drive or have friends or get married so he is "normal" just like me. I accept him just as he is and accept both his strengths and his weaknesses and let him be who he is.

NO ONE is normal. We are all individuals with our unique abilities. We are not like cookies cut out from the same cookie cutter.

My father would not let me go to school dances, so did I commit suicide because I wasn't "normal" and like everyone else? I couldn't date until I was 16, but the other girls dated much earlier. Did I commit suicide because I wasn't "normal" and not like the other kids? I couldn't go to parties because they were in town and we lived out in the country 10 miles away and my father refused to drive me to the parties. Did I commit suicide because I wasn't "normal" and like the other kids?

Hello wondergirls I went to my therapy appointment. The only part I tell her is I cannot take it anymore and want it all to end and I also tell her that I do not think cbt work. And lastly I said I am tired of hearing about successes.

She told me I can have successes too but maybe I do not want them. And she said cbt do work because her other clients do it and it work for them. She want me to makes a list next time for what I want to happen in my life. I tell her I will make the list BUT I do not have any hope that what's on the list is going to ever happen.

She said do I need to go to emergency room for suicide or something like that and I said no. and then I have to do a suicide contract. Which is stupid because if you are going commit suicide who cares about that paper? She said she would be sad if something happen to me and feel guilty. But listen she will go on with her life I am pretty sure about that I told her.

Anyway ty

Maybe you did not commits suicide because your brain is normal like other people. Maybe you have a will to live or whatever they call it. You have a children and a husband and reason to live. I have a dog that someone could take in as a rescue or something. Personally I don't care what happens to me next I am just tired. If your sons cannot do most of the NORMAL things in life and you don't care and they don't care then it's not a problem. It's a problem when you wants to be normal but can't no matter what you try.

[Wondergirl]

I'm glad you told her all that.

You have a misunderstanding what is normal. There is no normal.

Does anything make you feel happy?

Do you live anywhere near the Delaware River?

[albear]

Hope you don't mind if I take a stab at a few things, just to try and get a better understanding of what's happening.
(I appologise beforehand for all spelling and grammar mistakes)

From what I've read so far and the fact you came to a 'help site' tells me you don't really want to commit suicide, but more along the lines of feeling 'obligated' to since you seem to put yourself down and label yourself as not worth it.

The parts I've read about you saying you don't have many friends or family that you might be able to stay with and staying in and avoiding people, makes me think that what might be one of the more central feeling is, your lonely.

Which feeling unloved, saying you won't be able to get married and such explains why your feeling so negative about yourself.

You said you don't feel unhappy with going to the therapy even though you don't think its working or is likely to work with you, so why keep going?

You know what I think, I think you go just for the human contact, you've said she is a nice lady, I think you go to the appointments, just to see and talk to her, because she seems like a friend, someone who wants to help.

I also think that you don't truly believe the things you've said about your disability holding you back, but you seem to be failing where other people who don't have this disability are doing well, so it must have something to do with why you feel so out of place right?

I mean, you have a dissability, and just that word seems to mean your at a disadvantage to everyone who doesn't, right?

And with the utilities thing going on, its just made things worse, the tip of an underwater iceberg, and seemingly brought it all to a head. I mean, what I'm getting is that you seem to think you won't be able to recover from this, and that you feel your life is as good as over, so why not go out on your own terms.

Am I close to anything with that lot?

[Wondergirl]

Are there any Asperger's groups or groups for singles in your area that have social events and parties and stuff like that?

[joypulv]

Lena, your title is when is it OK to commit suicide?
I claim it's OK whenever you want as long as you have no one dependent on you.
People who have terminal illnesses want to exit while they still have all their marbles. People who have lost the ability to do what they loved. Usually people with very dramatic losses to their bodies. Switzerland has legalized assisted suicide, and people from all over the world go there to die painlessly, with help (for a high fee though).
I assume that you aren't interested in violence to yourself and also don't want to end up a vegetable or otherwise unable to have control over your life after failure. I have a feeling you are also looking for reasons to stay alive. Nature designed us for survival. We can't just hold our breath and stop breathing, can we?
What I want to know from you is do you feel any better knowing that there is a trend in the world toward allowing people to time their exits the same way they time having babies and health care and trips south for the winter and all sorts of other controls over their lives? It follows that as the world gets geometrically overpopulated and also living longer and longer that 'timed death' would be a new concept.
If someone offered you this option today, would you take it?
Do you feel any relief knowing that you can go another day, and another day after that, and think about it later?
I know you don't like the 'oh please don't kill yourself' responses or the 'look at all the other people who struggle to live under horrible conditions.' So, what about my questions?

[redlipsticklena]

Hope you dont mind if i take a stab at a few things, just to try and get a better understanding of whats happening.
(i appologise beforehand for all spelling and grammar mistakes)

From what ive read so far and the fact you came to a 'help site' tells me you dont really want to commit suicide, but more along the lines of feeling 'obligated' to since you seem to put yourself down and label yourself as not worth it.

the parts ive read about you saying you dont have many friends or family that you might be able to stay with and staying in and avoiding people, makes me think that what might be one of the more central feeling is, your lonely.

which feeling unloved, saying you wont be able to get married and such explains why your feeling so negative about yourself.

you said you dont feel unhappy with going to the therapy even though you dont think its working or is likely to work with you, so why keep going?,

you know what i think, i think you go just for the human contact, you've said she is a nice lady, i think you go to the appointments, just to see and talk to her, because she seems like a friend, someone who wants to help.

I also think that you dont truly believe the things youve said about your disability holding you back, but you seem to be failing where other people who dont have this disability are doing well, so it must have something to do with why you feel so out of place right?

i mean, you have a dissability, and just that word seems to mean your at a disadvantage to everyone who doesnt, right?

and with the utilities thing going on, its just made things worse, the tip of an underwater iceberg, and seemingly brought it all to a head. I mean, what im getting is that you seem to think you wont be able to recover from this, and that you feel your life is as good as over, so why not go out on your own terms.

Am i close to anything with that lot?

Hello. Yes you are right about a lot of things here in this thread. It is no secrets to me I go to the therapies with that lady because she is nice and she doesn't ever call me names or make me feel stupid (most of the time). I can tell some subject make her uncomfortable so I don't talk about it like my problem with the men not wanting anything to do with me. There's nothing she can do about that anyway. She is just someone talk to because I had friends and drops them all years ago. I don't even care to find them no more. They had 'normal life' even though Wondergirl said it's no such thing. Most of them have job, families, kids, and partners, like socializing. I am just alone with a dog and its weird to these people so why bother going around them? So I don't.

I don't know what your life is like if you are one of these mentally stable people or if you are more normal with your own family or kids etc. I believes what holds me back is AS and never properly socialize as a child. So now I do not know any of the 'rules,' just becomes problems sigh.


The utilities was just the final straw and you're right about that, but now that's fix temporarily. I have become very very tired trying to fit into this world and convince at my age there's nothing left to change for me. I am too fars behind my peers now to look back and wish on anything. I know they all think I am weird because I don't have anything like them to show for OR they think I am lazy and did not try. But that's not true :( they just don't know what it's like to want normal life and can't ever have one. Ty

[JudyKayTee]

I know you don't like the 'oh please don't kill yourself' responses or the 'look at all the other people who struggle to live under horrible conditions.' So, what about my questions?

To the contrary I think this wouldn't be posted if there weren't "Oh, please don't kill yourself responses."

If someone said, "Who cares?" the thread would end.

[joypulv]

To the contrary I think this wouldn't be posted if there weren't "Oh, please don't kill yourself responses."

If someone said, "Who cares?" the thread would end.

True, but I offer a different type of response, something very different in a sea of responses. I myself find it soothing and not at all inflammatory or negative.

[redlipsticklena]

Lena, your title is when is it OK to commit suicide?
I claim it's OK whenever you want as long as you have no one dependent on you.
People who have terminal illnesses want to exit while they still have all their marbles. People who have lost the ability to do what they loved. Usually people with very dramatic losses to their bodies. Switzerland has legalized assisted suicide, and people from all over the world go there to die painlessly, with help (for a high fee though).
I assume that you aren't interested in violence to yourself and also don't want to end up a vegetable or otherwise unable to have control over your life after failure. I have a feeling you are also looking for reasons to stay alive. Nature designed us for survival. We can't just hold our breath and stop breathing, can we?
What I want to know from you is do you feel any better knowing that there is a trend in the world toward allowing people to time their exits the same way they time having babies and health care and trips south for the winter and all sorts of other controls over their lives? It follows that as the world gets geometrically overpopulated and also living longer and longer that 'timed death' would be a new concept.
If someone offered you this option today, would you take it?
Do you feel any relief knowing that you can go another day, and another day after that, and think about it later?
I know you don't like the 'oh please don't kill yourself' responses or the 'look at all the other people who struggle to live under horrible conditions.' So, what about my questions?

I do not have children that's dependent. And I never heard of that thing in switzerland but I agree the terminal illness peoples should not have to live if they decide its too much for them. Not saying I am in their boat but I also have no life to live for like them. I never really did have a life in the first place even though I tried to get one like everyone else did

Well I wish I could holds my breath and stop it all but its not that easy. You cannot just do anything and become a veggie over it. I have look into two methods now. You can go to the subway and jump in front of the train but then I read online about the conductor is messed up mentally for his lifetime after someone did that to him. Sigh. The same thing about drive your car head on into tractor trailer. All the other method is either expensive or very dangerous.

My therapist say to be logical about it and I am. Look at my life I really don't have anything to show for if you're being honest about it. Now just like that other lady/man I don't know what your life is about either. For all I know you can be a disabled person yourself or you can have a family and be happy etc.

Well I like this question:

Do you feel any relief knowing that you can go another day, and another day after that, and think about it later?

I like that its always an option and nobody can makes me stay here. The way I look at it logical, why waste all the resources when you are just a waste of time? It makes no sense.

[redlipsticklena]

I'm glad you told her all that.

You have a misunderstanding what is normal. There is no normal.

Does anything make you feel happy?

Do you live anywhere near the Delaware River?

Hi wondergirl yes I guess I do not understand about what you mean there is no normal. To me there is and always will be. Its why they say some people are losers when they have nobody or 'cat ladies' when they live like me. Sigh.

I like music and I like books. What about you?

I live near the Delaware.

[redlipsticklena]

To the contrary I think this wouldn't be posted if there weren't "Oh, please don't kill yourself responses."

If someone said, "Who cares?" the thread would end.

Oh please judy only one person or two has even said that. Otherwise we just are all talking. Even if they did say 'oh just go do it,' that would be one response. Who cares. Again go to another place then. Jesus.

[Wondergirl]

I like music and I like books. What about you?

I like those too. In fact, I write articles and stories. I was almost a music major in school, but switched to literature for some silly reason. Do you live near the library?

I live near the Delaware.

Warren County?

[redlipsticklena]

I like those too. In fact, I write articles and stories. I was almost a music major in school, but switched to literature for some silly reason.

Warren County?

I am not telling where I lives. Why are you trying to finds this out... literature is a good major you can read a lot of books and then write papers on them. Also there's jobs for english/lit majors in the world, I mean like teaching and things like that.

[redlipsticklena]

What is the lasts book you read wondergirl?

I just read a book called american rust. It was really good too. Also the hunger game

[Wondergirl]

I am not telling where I lives. Why are you trying to finds this out

I know someone with Asperger's in Warren County -- thought you might know her.

literature is a good major you can read a lot of books and then write papers on them. Also there's jobs for english/lit majors in the world, I mean like teaching and things like that.

Yes, I read all those books and wrote all those papers and I taught school until I became a librarian.

I like thrillers right now. I recently finished reading all the books by Lee Child and am waiting for the new one to come out in September. Lee Child's main character is Jack Reacher. He is tall and handsome and headbutts the bad guys and he carries a fold-up toothbrush around with him as his only luggage. He buys new clothes every three days or so, and throws away the old, dirty ones. He has no car, but walks and hitches rides and always ends up helping people overcome evil somehow.

[JudyKayTee]

oh please judy only one person or two has even said that. otherwise we just are all talking. even if they did say 'oh just go do it,' that would be one response. who cares. again go to another place then. jesus.

You know the way you respond to me and not to other people who pretty much seem to say the same thing makes me wonder if we've crossed paths before - ?

Seems to be some old history here on your part.

[redlipsticklena]

I know someone with Asperger's in Warren County -- thought you might know her.
Yes, I read all those books and wrote all those papers and I taught school until I became a librarian.

I like thrillers right now. I recently finished reading all the books by Lee Child and am waiting for the new one to come out in September. Lee Child's main character is Jack Reacher. He is tall and handsome and headbutts the bad guys and he carries a fold-up toothbrush around with him as his only luggage. He buys new clothes every three days or so, and throws away the old, dirty ones. He has no car, but walks and hitches rides and always ends up helping people overcome evil somehow.

I never heard of lee child's before. I will check it out and it sounds like an action movie type book. Sigh. I been very very depressed that's all. I keep seeing everyone around with 'normal' lives and then these peoples on the internet claim there's no such thing as normal life. It's annoying. Well I am tired of it and only thing I can think of is I just want OUT. That's it. I have had it. I am never going to have a normal life and do not thinks I am capable of even trying to get one at this point.

[Wondergirl]

i never heard of lee childs before. i will check it out and it sounds like an action movie type book. sigh. i been very very depressed that's all. i keep seeing everyone around with 'normal' lives and then these peoples on the internet claim there's no such thing as normal life. it's annoying. well i am tired of it and only thing i can think of is i just want OUT. that's it. i have had it. i am never going to have a normal life and do not thinks i am capable of even trying to get one at this point.

Have you read Janet Evanovich's mysteries or those by Lilian Jackson Braun? Or Gothic adventures by Daphne du Maurier? I especially like short stories -- stories by Bret Harte or Nathaniel Hawthorne are good.

I think more than anything you are bored. Are there singles groups in your area, groups that have activities and short trips and lunches together?

[JudyKayTee]

Have you read Janet Evanovich's mysteries or those by Lilian Jackson Braun? Or Gothic adventures by Daphne du Maurier? I especially like short stories -- stories by Bret Harte or Nathaniel Hawthorne are good.

I think more than anything you are bored. Are there singles groups in your area, groups that have activities and short trips and lunches together?

Raising my hand and recommending Ann Rule, anything she's written, anything!