[PIPER1234]

Does anyone know of a mental disorder that makes you a complete jerk to your girlfriend... crazy question I know but seriously he was on meds before I came along and was a happier person... His doctor thought he might be Bipolar... I believe there is something going on... just not sure its bipolar.. This is not all the time but a lot of the time... His Dad says he has always been a moody boy... And he treated his girlfriend of 2 years the same way... Anyway could say a lot more but just wanted someone's take on this... He is20 and I'm 19... Even his friends say he is a mean guy... He has never hit me but doesn't talk the nicest... sometimes.I know his mom is on meds and she said that she can be very mean if not on them... Don't know... I just know if meds help great if not got to get out... We are engaged... been dating 10 months... He has not been on any medicine since I've known him... Thanks for any opinions... I do remember he told me when we first went out that he was a depressed person and I thought he was kidding but... I also know a symptom of depression in men is anger... but anyway "Thanks" for any opinions!!

[tickle]

Ask yourself if you really need this guy, and if you don't, move on. Bipolar is a mental disorder and if has mood swings could mean not good for you.

[valinors_sorrow]

He could be bipolar, depressed or even borderline personality disorder. What the illness might be won't matter much if he isn't interested in recovering from it. And given that he is an adult, he gets to decide what medical care he'll accept or reject.

But please do not let "I have an illness" amount to a free ride for him being irresponsible about handling that illness. Mental illness is not an excuse to be immature or self centered or if it is, then he ought not be in something as adult as a relationship without supervision. That's a bit like playing the mental illness card to have your cake and eat it too. Not good.

Like Tickle said, maybe you need to re-evaluate how it is that you are pursuing things with someone who is by your own words a jerk, mean, and talks nasty to you.

[Squiffy]

My partner has bi polar, along with a few other mental health problems, and he doesn't sound anything like your partner. Beingon meds for bi polar doesn't really make you happier, in fact more often than not the opposite, as they are usually given mood stabilisers so not too happy, not too sad, just all right. I would say it sounds more like depression. The thing is, it doesn't matter what the problem is, he will not stop being a jerk to you unless he wants to see his dr and gets the meds back again. If its meds he needs, and not just that he is a grumpy moody person. Does he see his dr at all?

[ordinaryguy]

Beingon meds for bi polar doesnt really make you happier, in fact more often than not the opposite, as they are usually given mood stabilisers so not too happy, not too sad, just alright.

I had a bipolar friend who was hospitalized after a manic episode. She said she figured out that in order to get out, she was going to have to convince them that she was happy, but not "too happy". A fine line I'm sure.

Being in a close emotional relationship with a person who has bipolar or BPD is a real workout. I eventually had to give it up.

[Squiffy]

My partner has Bi polar, aggressive personality disorder and psychosis. He spends on average a couple of weeks a year in a psychiatric hospital. It can be hard at times, but he has been like it for the whole time I have known him, and has always been very honest and open about his condition with me. He takes his meds, and sees his many doctors when he is supposed to He rarely has an episode anymore, last time was about a year ago now, when he was given some anti biotics that caused his mood stabilisers to stop working! Most of the time you wouldn't know he had a problem-except for the occasional weird starey eyes he gets if he is late taking his meds! I think the most important thing anyone with a menatl health disorder can do is be honest. No point trying to convince the doctors you are OK again, if you are not! You are only doing yourself more harm in the long run!

[tinsign]

In answering your question, are you going to be able yourself to deal and cope with his moods? It takes a very strong person to be able to cope with someone who won't take the medication they need. You already know he has treated another jerky.

If you think by marrying him that you will change him then don't do it.

[JoeCanada76]

Medication and counseling is a must, but with the type of personality he has now. How do you think he would react to this suggestion. I agree with others. I think it is better to end it until he is able to straighten himself out and get some true help. It is better to be just a friend and a support person if that is what you want to be, but he needs time to work on himself. Some people never get help and others eventually do receive it.

Best of luck.

Joe

[x-mo-x]

My ex boyfriend was a complete jerk and treated me like dirt at times, well most the time! I really thought he had a split personality! He tried anger management for a while, didn't really work, he thought I was laughing about him going to my friends behind his back, I wasn't and don't know why he thought it? He then tried to get me to go to concelling because he thought I was a compulsive liar!! I found out from his mum that his dad was exactly the same to her ( a jerk ) he dad passed away when he was a young teenager. I believe his anger was because his dad passed away but also because he was like his dad! If you really love your boyfriend talk about how he makes you feel and suggest anger management or concelling, offer to go with him and help in every way you can. Maybe his mum can talk to him with u? If you don't see a change you have to think about your future and whether your willing to have a husbund that's a jerk?
Best of luck xx