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Skylertrip · Jul 10, 2012, 02:04 PM

I have recently and for the last 6 years dealing with this issue. I lost custody/permanent guardianship of my now 6 year old son. His paternal grandparents have custody/permanent guardiaship of him. Does this mean I have terminated my parentals rights? I was told by a judge in March that "You have no rights, You have no rights to this child." If I understand correctly, if I have no rights and they have permanent guardianship then I terminated my rights when I signed them custody.

AK lawyer · Jul 10, 2012, 02:46 PM

I believe what the judge was talking about was rights to custody, visitation, and to make important decisions for the child (medical treatment, schooling, etc.)

I don't think the judge could terminate other rights, such as your right to inherit from the child, or notice and opportunity to be heard with respect to an adoption, to give two examples.

Skylertrip · Jul 10, 2012, 02:58 PM

More specifically I allowed my son's paternal grandmother and her husband to take permanent guardianship in 2006, I randomly saw my son and on several occasion didn't even know where he lived for years. I was never asked from either of them to provide for my son even though I offered repeatedly. Back in Oct 2011 after arguing about the way my son was being raised and having issues with his biological father having a negative impact on my son, I was told that I couldn't see my son until we went to court. I filed the papers 2 days later. We went back to court in Dec 2011, Feb 2012 and Mar 2012 and was told that I could not ever regain parental rights unless his grandmother granted them to me. They did allow me to have visitation only because it had been established prior to court. My son's grandmother and her husband have just recentled filed for child support after 6 years claiming "We're going to get you for everything you're worth", "We're going to get back child support!" The only reason they're filing now is because the husband has lost his job and the grandmother refuses to work. She hasn't worked but 2 months in the last 6 years and the husband hasn't kept a job for more that a year in the last 6 years.
I've contacted the courts and they're saying "We're unsure of the wording in the orders and if that in fact has terminated my parental rights."
I'm just trying to sort all of this out, if I gave away my parental rights then didn't I volunarily terminated my rights for the best interest of my son?

ScottGem · Jul 10, 2012, 04:34 PM

Do you have an attorney? If not I think you need one.

ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

You need to read the agreement you signed. It may,in fact have terminated your rights. But generally granting guardianship is not the same as an adoption and does not terminate rights. I'm surprised a judge ruled that way.

Skylertrip · Jul 10, 2012, 04:38 PM

I just got off the phone with the court clerk and no in fact my rights have no been terminated. They're still saying that unless my son is being abused or neglected that I will not regain custody. So to me it seems that I should just terminate my rights and hope that my son has the best life he can without me especcially after he just told me that he doesn't want to spend time with me and that he doesn't feel loved by me. Thanks for the information.

ScottGem · Jul 10, 2012, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by Skylertrip

I just got off the phone with the court clerk and no in fact my rights have no been terminated. They're still saying that unless my son is being abused or neglected that I will not regain custody.

Like I suspected. The courts are required to rule in the best interests of the child. Wresting a 6 yr old from the only parents he's ever know is usually not in his best interests.

Originally Posted by Skylertrip

So to me it seems that I should just terminate my rights and hope that my son has the best life he can without me especcially after he just told me that he doesn't want to spend time with me and that he doesn't feel loved by me. Thanks for the information.

Doesn't work that way. There is a myth that a parent can voluntary give up their rights, but its only a myth. The court will not terminate your rights. If you continue to fight for him, as he gets older he may understand this better and feel more loved.

Skylertrip · Jul 10, 2012, 06:21 PM

From my understanding which doesn't mean much, that if his guardians would like to adopt him that I have a right to speak against it but ultimately if it is in the best interest of my son they would rule in favor of terminating rights and granting adoption to them. As far as I can tell the judge believes that it is important for me to remain in his life but if my son doesn't want me in his life then it would be in his best interest for them to adopt. I don't want to put him through any more stife or heart ache, I want to do what's best for him and I don't see me fighting them at every turn in court would be beneficial for any one involved. Its been so hard to coming to that determination. Thank you for your input, it has really helped.

ScottGem · Jul 10, 2012, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by Skylertrip

From my understanding which doesn't mean much, that if his guardians would like to adopt him that i have a right to speak against it but ultimately if it is in the best interest of my son they would rule in favor of terminating rights and granting adoption to them. As far as I can tell the judge believes that it is important for me to remain in his life but if my son doesn't want me in his life then it would be in his best interest for them to adopt. I don't want to put him through any more stife or heart ache, I want to do whats best for him and I don't see me fighting them at every turn in court would be benefical for any one involved. Its been so hard to coming to that determination. Thank you for your input, it has really helped.

Yes, if they petition for adoption and you either assent or it is granted over your objections, then yes they will terminate your rights. That is the only way they are likely to do so.

I disagree. Your son is only six. He is really incapable of understanding the situation. Plus I suspect he has been brainwashed by his grandparents. If you work at showing him that you do love him and that you let his father and grandparents care for him because you felt that was best for him, as he gets older he may understand more and feel more kindly towards you.

JudyKayTee · Jul 21, 2012, 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Yes, if they petition for adoption and you either assent or it is granted over your objections, then yes they will terminate your rights. That is the only way they are likely to do so.

I disagree. Your son is only six. He is really incapable of understanding the situation. Plus I suspect he has been brainwashed by his grandparents. If you work at showing him that you do love him and that you let his father and grandparents care for him because you felt that was best for him, as he gets older he may understand more and feel more kindly towards you.

Now I'm confused - this can't be a permanent termination of rights because OP was ordered to pay support. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...es-685302.html

I don't know why support was addressed and not visitation and/or if the bigger problem is getting out from under paying support or regaining visitation/custody or something else.