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Aurora_Bell · Jul 9, 2012, 07:38 AM

I have a fb page, and I got on the subject of being called "hon" by total strangers. It irks the H.E.L.L out of me, I can NOT stand it, how do you guys feel after being called "hon" or "sweet heart" by a total stranger?

So I'm at a restaurant, the waitress is clearly younger than I, I ask for more napkins for my 4 year old and she replies with "sure thing hon". "That's it," I thought, "The last straw." I asked her if she calls everyon that, even the obviously senior citizens? She replied "yea hon, I do". I was shocked. If I ever called a teacher, parent, aunt or elder "hon" I'd have the poop smacked out of me. It's disrespectful and condescending, that's why. And patronizing. I was eating lunch with a girl friend of mine and the server kept calling us 'hon". I know my eyes would have gotten stuck in the back of my head, had that wives tale actually been true... I asked my friend, how does that make her feel? As one of the most educated people I know in our age bracket, she replied "It's so condescending, I HATE IT". Okay, so I'm not alone in thinking this. I thought maybe it's just insulting as a woman, went to my parents’ house, and asked my father (as a visible senior citizen) what he thought about being called ". Okay, so I'm not alone in thinking this. I thought maybe it's just insulting as a woman, went to my parents’ house, and asked my father (as a visible senior citizen) what he thought about being called "? I should note my father is also a veteran, and obviously retired military, an under water's weapons tech to be exact. He thinks it's ridiculous to be called "? I should note my father is also a veteran, and obviously retired military, an under water's weapons tech to be exact. He thinks it's ridiculous to be called " by a total stranger! I have heard the term used by nurses and other professional titles and while I am sure the user of the term means no disrespect, it comes across as patronizing for some. I would prefer to save the term of endearment for those close to me.

smearcase · Jul 9, 2012, 12:21 PM

I'm a veteran too, and a male and would rather be called "hon" than a lot of other things people might call me.
It is such a big deal in Baltimore MD that they have a "Hon" contest every year, and all the ladies dress up with their hair in beehives etc.
Not worth getting all that bent out of shape over, in my humble opinion.
Whoops, I almost put a comma and a Hon at the end of the last sentence.

Aurora_Bell · Jul 9, 2012, 04:41 PM

I don't get all bent, it's just something that irks me.

Wondergirl · Jul 9, 2012, 04:50 PM

My grandfather would say, "Call me anything you want. Just don't call me late for dinner."

Aurora_Bell · Jul 9, 2012, 05:00 PM

Hm, I guess it's just me who finds it patronizing and rude.

wop48 · Jul 9, 2012, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

I have a fb page, and I got on the subject of being called "hon" by total strangers. It irks the H.E.L.L outta me, I can NOT stand it, how do you guys feel after being called "hon" or "sweet heart" by a total stranger?

So I'm at a restaurant, the waitress is clearly younger than I, I ask for more napkins for my 4 year old and she replies with "sure thing hon". "That's it," I thought, "The last straw." I asked her if she calls everyon that, even the obviously senior citizens? She replied "yea hon, I do". I was shocked. If I ever called a teacher, parent, aunt or elder "hon" I'd have the poop smacked outta me. It's disrespectful and condescending, that's why. And patronizing. I was eating lunch with a girl friend of mine and the server kept calling us 'hon". I know my eyes would have gotten stuck in the back of my head, had that wives tale actually been true... I asked my friend, how does that make her feel? As one of the most educated people I know in our age bracket, she replied "It's so condescending, I HATE IT". Okay, so I'm not alone in thinking this. I thought maybe it's just insulting as a woman, went to my parents’ house, and asked my father (as a visible senior citizen) what he thought about being called "hon"? I should note my father is also a veteran, and obviously retired military, an under water's weapons tech to be exact. He thinks it's ridiculous to be called "hon" by a total stranger! I have heard the term used by nurses and other professional titles and while I am sure the user of the term means no disrespect, it comes across as patronizing for some. I would prefer to save the term of endearment for those close to me.

Stop using Facebook just making the rich richer

Alty · Jul 9, 2012, 05:16 PM

I hate being called "hon" too Bella. You're not alone.

I have used "sweetie" on this site before, but it's always when the poster is obviously a child, and I use it to soften what I'm about to say, which is usually something they're not going to want to hear.

But, do you know what I hate even more than being called "hon" by strangers?

stop using Facebook just making the rich richer

People that post something that has absolutely nothing to do with the thread. ;)

Aurora_Bell · Jul 9, 2012, 05:38 PM

LOL Yup, was thinking the same thing.

Sweetie seems fitting when you use it to soften your blows, I have used it too. But "hon", just something about it makes me roll my eyes so hard it hurts!

I was told by a few people on that page that Baltimore people use the word hon a lot, never thought of it being a "cultural slang". One guy compared it to using the word "eh" for us Canadians, call me "eh" "hoser", tell me to "take off" ANYTHING but hon by a total stranger! :p

Alty · Jul 9, 2012, 05:46 PM

Completely agree, but I can see it being a cultural thing. Still, I find it annoying.

At my work there's a lady that comes in at least once a week. While she's at the register she calls me hon at least 20 times, and sweetie another 20 times. Pretty impressive seeing as she usually only has a few items and it doesn't take me long to ring her through. I smile, but inside I die a little more every time she delivers another hon or sweetie. She's also a bit off her rocker, so I guess I have to take that into consideration. :(

Drives me batty. I think that one day I'll just say "No problem you old battle axe". :)

Aurora_Bell · Jul 9, 2012, 05:57 PM

Hahah! Can you tape this for me?

Alty · Jul 9, 2012, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Hahah! Can you tape this for me?

LOL! I'll try, but it will have to wait until September. I have the summer off. I have to get my house cleaned up and ready. I have a very important visitor coming next month. :)

Aurora_Bell · Jul 9, 2012, 06:04 PM

Yes you do, more then the Queen ;) <3

Alty · Jul 9, 2012, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Yes you do, more then the Queen ;) <3

If the Queen were coming I wouldn't be putting in this much effort. ;)

But yes, very important guests. We're giddy about it. Syd can't wait, she already has a list of things to do with Miss E. Your poor child won't have a moments peace. ;)

Wondergirl · Jul 9, 2012, 06:10 PM

The people guilty of this are usually service people -- the cashier at the convenience store, the lab tech taking your blood, the checkout clerk at the grocery store, the hospital nurse's aide bringing you a bedpan, the waitress at Denny's, and so on. It used to be regional, with US Southerners doing this, but now, because we are all so mobile, it's less of a regional endearment and can be found all over the US and beyond.

Since people don't know your real name, rather than use a more formal sir or ma'am, they use "hon" to give an air of friendliness and warmth--and maybe, in the end, show basic laziness toward customers who pass like ships in the night. So put your hand on that person's arm, smile, look directly into her eyes (yes, the perp is usually female), and tell her to please call you by your real name,"X" or "Mrs. Y" (or whatever). If you are offended by "hon," then it behooves you to be proactive. The same kind of thing happens at the doctor's office when older patients are called by their first name. I'll accept "hon" any day before I will accept that!

Aurora_Bell · Jul 9, 2012, 06:10 PM

That's good, at least she will be out of my hair! Poor R has to babysit! Lol

Alty · Jul 9, 2012, 06:20 PM

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

That's good, at least she will be outta my hair!! Poor R has to babysit! lol

R, J and S are on E sitting duties while you're here. :)

Can we turn those initials into a word? We only have one vowel! Um...

Jers, nope.
Serj, maybe?
Rejs, defnitiely not.

Maybe we should add our initials, B and A.

Jabers! We need another b.

Ya, I'm bored. :(

odinn7 · Jul 9, 2012, 09:05 PM

I don't mind it when I am called hon now and then. It actually beats being called a douche or worse... though I am used to it.

Alty · Jul 9, 2012, 10:05 PM

Originally Posted by odinn7

I don't mind it when I am called hon now and then. It actually beats being called a douche or worse...though I am used to it.

Who would call you a douche? I want names, addresses, numbers. ;)

You're a big ole softie!

Aurora_Bell · Jul 10, 2012, 06:06 AM

Yes being called certainly is better than being called 'douche'... I don't want to come across grumpy or mean, it's just a pet peeve that probably will never go away. IDK, my friend can't stand it when people repetitively press the elevator button over and over again, she isn't going to go postal in her office, just an annoying quirk I guess. Every one's got them, I was just venting about mine :)

Wondergirl · Jul 10, 2012, 06:09 AM

Your list will get longer as you age, Bella. My list doesn't fit on one 8x11.5 sheet of paper any longer. And it's in little print. Now I know why old people are often grumpy.