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    stormrider's Avatar
    stormrider Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 26, 2012, 01:35 PM
    I am 22 years old and never had a girlfriend. Please help.
    I am 22 years old now. I am from middle class family. Some of the facts which I like about myself are that (& I am not exaggerating) I am 6 feet tall, good in sports, good in studies, good looking (that's what others say), good painter. The feature of me which I don't like is I am too shy and low on self confidence.

    In my school days I didn't talk to girls that much. Many of my friend said, I am too shy and I should socialize more. But I didn't pay too much attention to that, I did spend my time in playing sports, playing guitar, drawing paintings etc. when my college life began I realized that I suck in talking with girls. I felt so awkward talking with girls. However after some years I felt comfortable talking and made few friends. Sadly I never got a chance to enjoy college life because in the second year I started working in a CA firm. And that's how my junior college years passed.

    Now I am doing my management studies from one of the top 10 institutes of Mumbai, India. Itís actually my last year of college. And looking back I feel like I haven't lived those years at all. They are just gone. Now a day I feel so lonely inside, I just don't know what to do. Everyone in my group have a girlfriend now. After all these years I have realized 1 flaw in me which is responsible for my relationship status. I am emotionally unavailable to get into a serious relationship. I think Iím getting an expert in hurting people. Whenever some girl starts calling me too many times & we become good friends I get scared because I donít want to go to the next step. It usually ends with us both not being friends. If I like any girl then I generally donít have courage to just go and talk with her.
    I am tired of hearing things like, it will happen when the time is right or dress neat, read a lot, be social and all that crap which everyone says.

    Honestly, I wanted to be on my own as soon as possible. I am going to pass out next year and looking at current job situation. Itís hard to find a decent job. Looking back, there's only one thought in my mind that Iíve never enjoyed my college life to the fullest and never met a girl who loves me and I love her back. All these thoughts are making me hate myself.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #2

    Jun 26, 2012, 02:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stormrider View Post
    i am tired of hearing things like, it will happen when the time is right or dress neat, read a lot, be social and all that crap which everyone says.
    I agree with you here. I was annoyed when I was told "there's plenty of time to find a girlfriend", but I would also here "life is short", it made me wonder if people actually believe what they say.

    There is a simple solution to your problem: ask women out and date them. You will have success, but, you also will face rejection and it will sting; the experience you will gain from this is priceless. You will learn and your confidence will grow.

    Give internet dating a shot. Specifically, try OKCupid. It's free and in my opinion, the most comprehensive dating site out there.

    I leave you with this quote: "You miss one-hundred percent of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 26, 2012, 02:38 PM
    You can change all that by forgetting preconceived notions about females, and just make friends. You seem to have had opportunities to do this, but you are scared to date and have fun and take risks of rejection and failure like the rest of us do.

    Don't look for love, look for good people to share a great time with. That's what the college life is about, to practice your social skills and have a great time learning about yourself, and see how you can stretch your limits, so you know what they are.

    Now practice, by speaking with and engaging the people around you, so what if you screw up sometimes. Just do it enough to be comfortable with yourself.

    What, you went to college to get trained to get a job to support yourself? DUUUUUUDE! That's great, but look at all the hot chicks you missed. Instead of hating yourself, work to make yourself better.

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