[Ria100]

Guess it happens to the best of us. My situation is somewhat same yet there are cultural barriers that seem to complicate and confuse me. I dated a guy for a year. We both got along very well. Very compatible and very understanding. Gave each other time and space. Both of us have a consulting as our profession and met at a project. We supported and encouraged each other career wise as well. The shift happened last year when he attended a family wedding and came back looking lost. He said he isn't sure he can go ahead with this as he is from a different religion and his family is very traditional. He also said why am I wasting my time with him when I know that its not going anywhere. (True- when we started going out, he had been honest that he is not sure if he'll be able to promise a future if things go well- as his parents have a different expectation and idea of wedding). Then he suggested why don't we take a break and see how things go. To top it all, he said I could get any guy I want - in my faith, it'll be much easier on me and my family. He even suggested his friends names! (Ohkay.. that hurt. Because - that is the last thing I was expecting). On one hand he wants to see me on the other hand - he is confused if there is a future. I still have some stuff that I need to go pick up but somewhere deep down I am hurt and keep postponing my trip. We have been in touch over the phone 2-3 times a week but I haven't seen him in three months.
Initially, I didn't really know that taking a break literally means break up! It hit home almost a month later... (yet we talked on the phone normally. There were no games who is calling whom and who is not calling whom). Now that my third month is coming to an end - and I'm still no where close to getting over him. How do I approach this situation? It is really not my fault that I don't belong to his religion. He is ready to do anything to keep his parents happy... (which means going the arranged marriage way... yes he is Asian Indian.)
I don't plan on converting my religion for him. I respect his and I'd expect the same... and surely hope to have a common ground somewhere...
My question is: Do I completely disconnect once I get my stuff ? (My stuff is worth over $5000 - so I can't just ask him to throw it away.) What do I do? We are best friends and he still wants to be close friends - however, that is not helping me. Any thoughts? (Yes, I work out daily, I am a consultant preparing to get my MBA... so my hands are full - but I still think of him... )
His family is more important to him - makes me feel insignificant
He doesn't plan on speaking with his own parents - what is he afraid of?
How do I confront him or silently just try to move on? (I am not good with confrontations)
Help please... my last hope is counseling because I feel I have been in coma for long time.
I haven't dated a single guy after that. I don't feel like meeting up with anyone even for a friendly dinner. I just keep turning down dates almost on constant basis and I feel helpless.

[Bluerose]

"What does this mean : Takin' a break"

In a relationship it usually means someone wants out but doesn't have the courage to say so.

[RD07]

Taking a break usually means they need space. Without you to contemplate the relationship. It doesn't always end in splitting up, but it can also just be a cowardly way to finish someone.

[Ria100]

Thanks... but these answers don't help. I already know all this. Anyhow.. It was worth a try. Thanks again.

[mask]

Hi
No one can understand and feel bater than the person who has gone from this taurma...
But this happens to many and all learn to live anf go ahead with time...
I can not say that one should approach like the way I feel but I am going to tell you what would I be doing if I be in such situation and believe these are not for just saying I mean it...

I would try to sort out the problem as soon as possible and find one or the other way . Firstly I would talk him\her in a very polite and friendly environment and will set a meeting with his family and if possible will take mine as well to pursue the case...

Will try to convey that marriage is for individuals who understand each other ,who know each other and who can understand what the other might be feeling at any certain situation and as v two share such bond between us therefor seek your permision...

If his family permit nothing batter than this BUT
If the response is negative should thank them politely and ask your friend to go ahead with his wish and should maintain a frndly realtion but also there should be a limit on this as now...

And let the natural rain do its job and you just go ahead with your duties and risponsibilities both family and official

...