[selfconcious]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and we really do have a great relationship, I love him with all my heart and more and I know he feels the same but there's one thing that bothers me sooo much and its really starting to upset me and make me feel completely terrible. The fact that he watches porn. I'm not a double zero tiny little girl like the girls in porn or the girls he looks at on the street but I know he finds me attractive enough but I just can't get it out of my mind and it just breaks my heart when I see him checking out these perfect little super model type girls.. and when he watches porn. I don't want to be controlling and ask him to stop but just the thought of him fantasizing about these women to get off... hurts me. I feel like he wishes I looked like these girls and I think.. if that's the type that he likes.. how can he be attracted to me? We have talked about it uncountable times but nothing ever changes. I just wish that it wouldn't feel like I'm being stabbed in the heart every time I see him checking a woman out or think about him watching porn. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can be okay with this? I love my boyfriend very much but the those things are tearing me apart. Please, any suggestions welcome :(

[JudyKayTee]

For whatever reason you are transferring your thoughts onto him - he "feel like he wishes" you look one way or the other. He hasn't said that. It's what YOU are thinking.

Porn is not a problem with me UNLESS porn takes the place of intimacy with me. Do you watch with him? You seem to know what he watches. He masturbates to the porn ("fantasizing about these women to get off").

I think most men notice an attractive woman. I notice attractive men. If he is staring or making you uncomfortable, then I'd talk to him about it.

[Wondergirl]

Men have a special section of their brain called the Fantasy Lobe. It has nothing to do with the Real-Life Lobe. That's how your boyfriend can watch porn and not be comparing you to those women. The Fantasy Lobe also takes over when playing video games (e.g. you are talking to him and he looks up at you with a glazed expression in his eyes, hasn't heard a word you've said).