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    nicki143's Avatar
    nicki143 Posts: 187, Reputation: 22
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jun 5, 2012, 12:26 PM
    Wedding bells?
    Hi all I am 38 and been dating my boyfriend now for 8 months he is 42> neither of us have been married before.
    We have known each other for 6 years and been good friends we both have a past and kids I know he has always wanted to get married and is so loving.
    Just recently he has been making jokes all the time about getting married like when you bcom mrs johnson or I will cry lik a baby when we g marrid he says it constantly. Is he joking or does he want to be married to me h thinks I don't want to do the marriage thing so not sure what to think
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Jun 5, 2012, 12:34 PM
    Call his bluff.
    nicki143's Avatar
    nicki143 Posts: 187, Reputation: 22
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    #3

    Jun 5, 2012, 12:35 PM
    I did think that, next time he says it I am going to
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    Jun 5, 2012, 12:37 PM
    Why don't you ask him if he is serious. You guys are not kids.
    Why does he think you don't want to do the marriage thing? Have you said this to him?
    I agree with wondergirl. Call his bluff
    nicki143's Avatar
    nicki143 Posts: 187, Reputation: 22
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jun 5, 2012, 12:42 PM
    When we were just friends he said about if he truly loved someone he would want to marry them he wears his heart on his sleeve where as I am a very closed person so in the conversation I just said never been married and never will. Now when we have these conversations he does look at me for a response. For example on Saturday evening we were with his sister we were all talking somehow the conversation turned to crying and weddings don't know how hats when he said about he would cry his eyes out when we get married he was staring at me waiting for a response I just carried on looking forward. He does not live with me and has started saying stuff about saving up and stuff for a special occasion and has even wrote something very similar on my Facebook page for everyone to see
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Jun 5, 2012, 12:50 PM
    Sounds like he is testing the water and/or is scared or just does not know how to ask.

    So when he says "when you are Mrs>>>>" say and when will that be ?

    Or just ask him if his jokes were asking to talk about marriage
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #7

    Jun 5, 2012, 12:50 PM
    It sounds like you aren't giving him much, if any, encouragement.

    "i just said never been married and never will" and "i just carried on looking forward."
    nicki143's Avatar
    nicki143 Posts: 187, Reputation: 22
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Jun 5, 2012, 12:55 PM
    I know you all right but with me I don't want to look stupid so I keep the hard face what if he is joking I will look stupid plus 8 months isn't a real long time although we have talked nearly every day for the past 6 years we worked together but he left about 2 months ago for another job.to be honest I would love to marry him my parents were only together about 10 months when they married have been married now 39 years
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #9

    Jun 5, 2012, 12:56 PM
    Okay, this is your chance. Tell us -- do you want to marry him or not? Seriously.
    nicki143's Avatar
    nicki143 Posts: 187, Reputation: 22
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Okay, this is your chance. Tell us -- do you want to marry him or not? Seriously.
    Never ever wanted to get married. It was something I always said I would never do but you know what I would marry him tomorrow
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #11

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:05 PM
    So now how will you act and what will you say when he makes a joke about you becoming Mrs. Johnson? How can you call his bluff?
    nicki143's Avatar
    nicki143 Posts: 187, Reputation: 22
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    #12

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:07 PM
    God knows either say when? Or I don't know
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #13

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:12 PM
    Yeah I'd make it a one-word question -- "When?" or "Soon?" or "Is August 11th good for you?"
    nicki143's Avatar
    nicki143 Posts: 187, Reputation: 22
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    #14

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:14 PM
    Haha yeah next time he makes the joke going to go for it will let you know xx
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #15

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:19 PM
    Be sure to tell us what he said and then what you said and then what he said after that! And let us know what date you set. ;) x
    nicki143's Avatar
    nicki143 Posts: 187, Reputation: 22
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    #16

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:22 PM
    Haha I will and thanks
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #17

    Jun 5, 2012, 02:04 PM
    And don't wait too long. Why don't you bring up the subject. Let him know you have softened on the idea. A closed mouth does not get fed.

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