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ashly69 · Jun 4, 2012, 08:58 AM

I have been with this guy for 6 years and we have had problems in the past. We broke up twice in the first 2 years of our relationship but not due to cheating. In the past 4 years we have done so much and grown so much and made it through difficult times together. I felt really happy yesterday until my girl friends confronted me and told me that he had cheated on me 2 years ago. The worst part about it is that he did tell me about her but swore to me that they only kissed.

When he told me about it he promised me multiple times that he didn't sleep with her. He even tried to deny it when I confronted him about it yesterday. Now he just feels bad and ashamed. I am confused I thought things were going well, he is not cheating on me now and he is making a lot of positive changes in his life such as not drinking. I still really care about him but I just have a terrible feeling of confusion. How do I move on from here...

C0bra_M3nace · Jun 4, 2012, 09:54 AM

You need to decide for yourself if a cheater is who you want to be with. If you can honestly answer yes to that than maybe you can make it work, but that doesn't mean it won't happen again.

Guys cheat for a number of reasons, but the most common is he isn't getting anything back home. Ask yourself what's going on in your relationship. Is your sex life good? Are you very open about eachothers sexuality. Maybe he wants to try something new and doesn't feel open enough to try it? It's really hard to say not knowing him.

If you don't decide you want to be with him, moving on is only as hard as you make it. Go no contact, go out with your friends, try some new things, something you've never done before, or never had the time to. Eventually you'll move on and forget.

LadySam · Jun 4, 2012, 10:47 AM

First and foremost, consider your sources.
When it pertains to the rumor mill, believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see.
Were you offered proof of an incident? Or do you only have some ones word?
So first you must decide who you believe and why.
People love to talk, period.
If they have made some one else second guess themselves, their partner or their relationship, then they have accomplished their goal.
Not saying that is true in your case, but only you know the people involved.

tickle · Jun 4, 2012, 10:52 AM

Come on... it was two years ago! You have already moved on and as you say made positive changes. Don't let this hiccup ruin things for you and he!

simplegurl · Oct 23, 2012, 09:16 AM

You're in a tough situation. Cheating is one of the heartbreaking part of relationship. Your have two choices: first, give him another chance because its been two years since it happened but I'm not saying yiu have to forget because it is really hard to forget such thing like that but my point is I think everybody needs a second chance right? Also, you said he's been doing good lately. Just try to observe him. If you think he's changing for good then, I think he really meant that he was sorry. But, if not then you have to move onto the second choice----> leave him and move on to someone else better.