[Saja]

I have a Chinese girlfriend and she is a college student. We met online and she came to my country to see me. After she go back, she went on a picnic, which was arranged by her college. After this picnic, she went to her hometown and she met some of her old friends there. One day she told me she go out with friends and she stop the chat with me and suddenly went out. She said she is going out with friends and suddenly disappeared. Throughout the day she messages me and told that she went to a mountain with friends. But she was not specific, whether they are girls or boys. She spent the day with them and came back home, but she started to become angry with me so easily. And her talk was so arrogant, without any reason from my side. Next few days her behavior was so abnormal, and she did not talk with me at all.

A few days later, one of her friend (boy), contacted me and asked me, am I the boyfriend of her. I said yes and I told her about him. Then she said that she has something to tell me. She told that she went to mountain with a friend (boy) and another boy, whom she doesn't know. Her friend came to her house with his motorcycle and pick her up. Then they went and picked his friend. They traveled in a motorcycle for 2 hours. During these 2 hours, my girlfriend was in the motorcycle, in the middle of these two boys. And they spend the day on the mountain and came back. Then they went to a river for swimming. There were many of this boy's friends and they swim together. My girl just sit outside and did not get in to the river. She was the only girl here. She came home about 7 in the night. Around 11 o clock in the night this boy came near her home and asked her to come out. This time she was talking with me, and she told me she wants to go to the wash room for few minutes and actually she went to meet him. When she went there, he hugged her and tried to kiss her. She refused and came back. This was one incident.

Another day, she wanted to go back to her college, which is in faraway city. She said she told her friend to buy the train ticket. And she went to meet her friend. This time she told me that her friend is a girl. Then she messaged me that time that she is in her friend's house. During all this time her contact with me was so abnormal and did not talk to me at all. Until she go back to college she told me that she is with a girl. But later when I questioned her more, she said she is sorry about something and want to apologize. I asked what is it and she told what actually happened. Actually it was a boy and she said she told that lie, because she thought I will be worried, if I know that she is with a boy. She went with him and he told that he also bought a ticket to travel with her. Then he took her to a friend's apartment, where about 7-8 friends (all boys), live together. The cooked and spent the evening together and went to the train in the night time. And he holds her hand to go through the people. The train was all night and she said she was so sleepy and sometimes her head touched his head, while sleeping. During this time she did not contact me at all, until I call her.

Normally we used to talk all day by messages or chatting. But when all these were happening, she did not talk with me at all. I felt I was ignored because she was with another boy and she lied to me about that. After these incidents I was so angry and impulsive and I scolded her too much. And after that any kind of incident like this did not happen. These things happened in the first few months of our love.

I'm not sure she sincerely stopped going out with friends or she is just pretending to me. I said it is totally OK with me, if she has male friends. The biggest problem is I'm in my country and she is China. So I don't know what is going on there. I expect to marry her in 2 years (as she still in the college). I really don't know whether she truly changed or, she is lying to me. As I feel she is completely honest. In real life, we have been together only for 2 weeks. All the other time we talked online and by phone. And I love her so much. She also loves me so much. But I don't have much experience in girls. I'm really confused in this situation. So, guys please help me with your experiences and advices… what should I do?

[liz28]

I think you need to deal with someone in your own country. You can control her actions. It seems like she want to explore and keep her options open. This why chatting with someone online oversea is hard. You are making plans to marry her in the future when the two of you have no present.

Being in love with someone in 2 weeks is kind of odd especially when the two of you have no real commitment to one another.

[talaniman]

When dealing with females, relax, and don't be an over jealous controlling fellow who worries to high hell when the lady is doing her thing, and you are not there and are not in contact with her. Either trust completely, or you don't need to be with her.

Especially after only two weeks together. That's crazy, and childish, and immature, and will make you seem like a guy who cannot deal with the truth. That's when you get lies instead of trust.

Then you get dumped when a real man comes along and treats her like a real woman. Apologize for your insecurity, and promise to do better, then DO it.