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662418082010 · May 10, 2012, 10:23 AM

Less than two years ago I started a new career and was overwhelmed with the amount of money I was manking through commissions. However, not being the best at handling money, I spent every dime I made. I find myself now in a situation where I am financially strapped, creditors calling me constantly for money owed and even friends and family that I have had to borrow money from are calling and not happy with me. I am so stressed over this it is affecting my personal life. I applied for bankruptcy and got a discharge but now find myself in a situation where I will never be able to get ahead. I still have my job and work on commission, but never know when my next pay is coming in. To make things worse, I am in a new relationship and I can't tell him my situation in fear that he will think less of me and not want to be with someone who can't handle her own finances... I don't know how to handle this... please help me!

talaniman · Feb 19, 2013, 08:11 PM

I know this post is old but I moved it where it may get more exposure. Have you solved this yet?

talaniman · Feb 20, 2013, 05:52 AM

Have you told your boyfriend of your situation?

662418082010 · Feb 20, 2013, 06:25 AM

No I have not told my boyfriend. Since this post is old, things have changed slightly for me. I have returned to my old job at a Community College and have a regular pay. I have filled for Debt Consolidation as I can't see any other way to get out of this. It is not bankruptcy, however will affect my credit (well it can't get any worse). I am still stressed, but I hope with this new job and perhaps other avenues (job wise), I will be able to get on top again.

I guess I am just in a rut... at my age (44) I should have something to show for and I do not. My own fault (I know), but it's still hard to accept that I have made so many mistakes to get me here.

I do not want to tell my boyfriend as I mentionned, in fear that he will think less of me. He is so driven and always looking for ways to make more money and plan for the future. He has his own business and owns real estate... I can't compete with that... All I can do is the best I can to help out! I'm sad that I cannot tell him (it is the only secret we have)... but I know, It's a big one!!

talaniman · Feb 20, 2013, 07:44 AM

That's your key is stop competing or more to the point stop hiding and making him think everything is okay because reading your other posts you are so insecure and afraid of losing him, you are losing yourself. Finances and emotions both require both short term and long term planning, to keep them from bleeding over and affecting your life in many areas and changing your thoughts and actions.

I respectfully submit that you worry less about hiding your fiance's to keep your man, and have something to show for your 44 years, and get a lot more honest with yourself, and your finances so that you can have a more thoughtful WORKABLE plan to follow.

Bottom line is your struggle to keep up appearances of helping out is kicking your butt. And fear keeps you from saying anything about it. I would be insecure and frustrated and tired too at all that energy spent to serve two demanding masters, pride, and dishonesty.

End the charade and relax, and make your effort be effective. At least your budget will be honest, giving you a much better path forward that can be managed much more realistically, without the overhead of fear and insecurity that always comes from hiding the TRUTH.