[Confused81]

My boyfriend (33) and I (31) have been together for 2.5 years. We have spoken about marriage twice in our relationship in the past two years and said that we wouldn't date for more the three years. 3 weeks ago My boyfriend said that he was unsure of a commitment w me because I pressured him. Because he said he was unsure of a commitment w me, I told him that he had 7 months to propose or else we were done. We didn't speak for two weeks.

Last weekend he came over to my apt and we talked about how much we love each other, how we want to be together and how we both want marriage. I asked for some sort of time frame. He said that I was pressuring him in asking for a time frame. And that he needed to be 1000% sure of commitment because he feared divorce being a product of a divorce mom and dad and that his brother was divorced as well.

I stood my ground and I said "I love you, I want to be with you we are not your parents we are not your brother and I need some sort of time frame" when he left my apt he hugged me so tight, and he said " I love you so much. We will work this out I promise. I just need time give me some time please its me it s my fear I promise we will work out" we went NC for a week. I bumped into him he said it was meant to be for us to bump into each other we got to talking and he told me again that he loved me so much and that we will be together. He said how he missed me, can't be without me doesn't want anyone else and that we're meant to be.

The following day he called me and we spoke for about half hour again he told me he loves me wants to be with me and we will sit down and discuss our relationship and that he was going to keep calling me "baby". I know he loves me but he asked for time apart and now after a week apart he still hasn't come to a decision about where we stand but now wants to talk. I'm oi confused? Please help.

[ironhide262]

If you truly love this guy and want to be with him then, what's the rush? From what you wrote I understand that the two of you are not living together/sharing a home... shouldn't that be the next logical step?

[talaniman]

What's to be confused about? You have a dead line, he doesn't like it. Of course he doesn't know what to do, and he is scared of marriage. Is there no compromise, like an extension of the deadline or something?

I am shocked he even agreed to this in the first place. Have you lived together? But I do understand some kind of clarity. I think he just likes it the way it is. What's obvious is he isn't ready, ut like you say he has a few more months to make a decision.

[Confused81]

He called me twice last night. I ignored his calls and third time I answered. He asked if I was okay and I told him I was busy and that I was struggling with the idea of him taking his time and whether we should talk. He said no no I want to talk to you. We are going to go out to dinner and talk about us. We're going to do this. I am one million percent sure I want you for the long haul. There is not doubt in my mind were going to compromise and were going to this there is no reason why we love each other and want to be together were doing this together trust me .--- I believe him and trust in him. I just hope Three weeks of NC was enough for him to have thought things through.

And no we don't live together. I had wanted to be engaged before living together he was okay with that.