[Aurora_Bell]

I have a group of online friends (not you guys here on AMHD) a group I met via Facebook. Over the past few months we have become very close, talking on the phone and through Facebook on a daily basis. We have a group on fb that we all got o and chat, share funny stories, our family problems and parenting woes. There is one girl I have particularly come close to. I really consider her a good friend, but we are constantly in arguments of misunderstandings. She has said she has 15 year friendships with people and never fought with them as much as we do. And I got to thinking, me too!

It hurts me to think I might lose her as a friend, but why are we constantly in misunderstandings? Is there something being lost in translation? Why are we always arguing? And it's like it gets so bad, there is almost no way to return. I'm not the only one she feels is misunderstanding her, and the last thing I want to do is make her feel like crap. I just don't know what's going on and if it's something that will always happen and if there is a point trying to recover and retain what we had?

I wish I could say she is a bad friend, but she is a very loyal and good friend, she knows what to say to cheer you up, she has great advice, she loves coming up with plans and charts for her friends to overcome obstacles in their lives, but she is so DAMN sensitive! She takes everything very personally and reacts rashly at times. And once she is upset about something it's hard for her to return from that.

She is also questioning our friendship and I am not sure what to say. She isn't the only one being misunderstood, I feel like she doesn't get me either. I don't know what I am really asking, but any ideas or thoughts on what to do here?

[Alty]

You know, as soon as I read this I figured out who you may be talking about. If I'm right, Bella, it's not you, it's her. Really!

If I'm completely wrong... oops. It's happened. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken. ;) Kidding!

You can like someone and not be close to them. It happens all the time. She doesn't get you, you don't get her, and that's really not a strong foundation for friendship.

One thing I've learned in my 41 years (it really hurts to right down that age), is that not everyone you like will become your friend, and sometimes people you initially can't stand become your best friends. Opposites do attract, but if you want a strong friendship you have to have things in common. It doesn't sound like the two of you do, so maybe more her to a different category. An acquaintance.

[Aurora_Bell]

I don't know... Like now, we are perfectly fine. I just don't get how there can be so many misunderstandings with someone you like so much.

[Alty]

I don't know... Like now, we are perfectly fine. I just don't get how there can be so many misunderstandings with someone you like so much.

It's easy to do over the internet. Remember, tone can't be read easily. When someone writes something that's meant as a joke, it can be taken completely the wrong way depending on the person reading it, the mood they're in, etc. etc.

Communication online is tricky at best.