[BiWiccanAndProud]

Okay I was diagnosed with AS when I was very young (not sure of exact age but younger then 5). I've always wanted to be a parent, never a doubt in my mind. Then today, out of no where, the thought pops into my head. Is this genetic? I have looked over several links over the last hour or so and most agree that is possible to be passed down. That made me feel bad enough, thinking that I could potentially pass AS down to my children one day (my husband does not have any ASD as far as I know). Then I find something else out. I have only truly known what AS is for the last 3-4 years, and when first started looking it up I saw it defined as an ASD (Austism Spectrum Disorder). I thought it was a term saying it was like Autism, but outside the circle. Then I find out that full blown Autism and ASD are the same thing. Now I'm scared to death that I not only have the potential of passing on AS to my future children, but that they could develop full blown, low functioning, autism as too.

I have been looking and looking trying to find an answer to my question. Can someone with Asperger's, a high functioning form of Autism (not a distance cousin), give birth to a low functioning autisic child? I have found site after site but practically all of them address children, not adults. I'm driving myself crazy and I haven't even been at this for that long it seems like. And when ever I feel the frustration taking over and know I'll have a melt-down I always know I can count on someone around AMHD to know the answer or be able to type the right info into Google that I can't seem to. Please... please help me :(

Edit: I would just like to clarify. This is not a question of being able to pass on an ASD at all. Right now from what I've read it is possible for someone with an ASD to pass it to their kids. So it's not so much a question of passing on an ASD as does the ASD change. Like if I have kids will they have a likely hood of having Asperger's Syndrom like I do? Or are they likely to have any of the ASD's on the spectrum? So more of a question of WHAT rather then IF.

[Wondergirl]

I'm glad to see you again. We miss you when you aren't hanging around!

I married a man who turned out to be an Aspie, his sister has some Aspie characteristics, his deceased father was an Aspie, and our older son has hyperlexia, a version of autism that is also high on the autism spectrum. Obviously, there's a genetic factor at work here. The main issues in my husband's family are social ones and mindblindness. All four had/have good jobs and seem to be able to compensate for any "disabilities."

More and more children are being diagnosed as autistic, and a reason for that growing number is still not understood. The newest theory is that the obesity of the mothers may be a factor. I'm guessing it's much more complex than that, and I believe there are far more people with some level of Asperger's than we can imagine. I know several Aspie fathers who have at least one Aspie child. In my limited experience, the child is similar to the father or has even fewer Aspie characteristics. None are low functioning. (I'll research how that works and let you know.)

There are so many social services in place now for autistic children (early intervention especially with speech and social interaction), with a huge effort to identify them at a younger age than ever before. I would not hesitate to have another child (if I could), even if I knew it would be autistic/have Asperger's.

[BiWiccanAndProud]

I'm glad you were the first commenter Wondergirl, you are always so helpful. It's also amazing that you have experience in this personally.

I'm glad to see you again. We miss you when you aren't hanging around!

Thanks. That makes me smile. I'll try to get on more if I can.

In my limited experience, the child is similar to the father or has even fewer Aspie characteristics

So (I don't know if this is what you were saying, I often interperate wrong) does this mean my child has a lower chance of getting it since I'd be the mother? I'm not sure if my husband has any ASD's or not. To my knowledge he has never been tested. He is very aloof and it's hard for him to make friends, the few friends he once had took advantage of him. He is also a "geek" like myself. But none of that necessarily means he is an Aspie either.

None are low functioning. (I'll research how that works and let you know.)

Thank you so much! I've now been searching for almost 3 hours. I've come up with (again) there is a high possibility of me passing on AS to my children but still nothing on if passing on an ASD can be any on the spectrum or just one similar to the parent.

I would not hesitate to have another child (if I could), even if I knew it would be autistic/have Asperger's.

Really? Like I said. I've always wanted to be a mother. I attach to my friends kids like velcrow and my mom has been running a daycare since I was 4. Obviously I love children, always have. Now I'm just... more weary of it at the possibility I could pass this (or worse) on to my kids. Even though I wasn't aware of what AS was exactly till a 3-4 years ago I've still always had it. I had to deal with the issues, the bullying, the confusion. I still endured it. Still am, though it's not as bad now that I am trying to understand it and, well, put the pieces of the puzzle together (ironically that's what I have been saying even before I found out a puzzle is the autism symbol). Anyway. It terrifies me to think of my own children going through it. You would think I'd have a handle on it being an Aspie myself, but it scares me. I know how to deal with having AS as an adult, not a child. I know what to do to fix adult Aspie problems, not children. I didn't even truly figure out how to stand up for myself till high school. What if even though I've been through it I can't protect my kid from what I went through? It scares me because I know what other kids did to me, could do to my kids. Having people hate you and not knowing why. Having people yell at you and not understanding what you did wrong. Having people use you and not understanding why they left. Or worse what if my kid has something worse on the spectrum then me? I'd feel horrible because I know it would be my fault, I feel horrible just thinking about it... It just... scares the hell out of me.

[Wondergirl]

My thinking is that since so much is being written about it now and so many services are already in place (with more to come) and because medical personnel/physicians are trying to catch autistic tendencies in very young children, the future for it is good. I have one "normal" (NT) child and one autistic. The autistic one (b.1970) was never bullied or given any trouble in school, was also encouraged by the other kids to join in with their groups, was invited to birthday parties, etc. My husband was in the school band but never in sports; he remembers only that girls liked to sneak up behind him and make him jump (sensory sensitivity), but no bullying, etc.

I think students today are more aware of disabilities and differences, since students with AS and CP and spina bifida and even higher-functioning Down's are mainstreamed now, when they weren't before.

Aspies have their own community and most don't want to be "cured." Have you read any books by Temple Grandin? If not, please do.

[Wondergirl]

Every child has his challenges; no child is perfect. Aspie kids give life a whole different flavor and teach parents how to broaden their scope on life. My son remembers everything he has ever read, so he loves crossword puzzles and trivia games. He's very literal, so I have to rethink how I talk to him; he's very visual and verbal, so I do better sometimes by writing things down for him. When my retired husband goes grocery shopping, I can't put together a list saying just "green beans" and "soup" and "cookies." I have to write down the brand name and if frozen or canned and the size package and how many of each and so on -- I have to be very literal and specific, or who knows what he will bring home! My son and my husband hate change -- plus our four cats hate change too -- so I rarely rearrange furniture or move things around in the kitchen or bathroom cabinets. Living with them has made me a more resourceful and open-minded person -- and been quite an adventure!

By the way, CalTech and MIT and Silicon Valley are full of Aspies.

[BiWiccanAndProud]

My son and my husband hate change -- plus our four cats hate change too --

This made me laugh :) I just read a book I found at my library called "All Cats have Asperger Syndrome". Weirdly enough after reading that short little book it made me feel better to think of myself as giving birth to someone that is "like a cat".

Honestly your son sounds like me. I too am very leteral and it hard for me to sometimes look outside the box. I love puzzles more then any other kind of game. Weirdly enough though I haven't ever found myself that effected by change (that I can recall), unless it's big things. Though until recently I have been unable to change many of my eating habits (my subway sandwich has vertually gone unchanged since I was a kid). However I find it very very hard to make decisions. When I was a child a frequent tantrum would before over my mom asking me which of two candy bars I wanted, I felt so much stress at just that little decision that I'd have a melt down. Even today I get stressed out just trying to decide what I want to eat for lunch. If I forget something of even the slightest importance (ex: what code I need to use at work on my register) I feel the sensation of needing to curl in a ball. I've always been freaked out by failiure.

I have not heard of Temple Grandin but I will have to look him up now. I actually went to the library today to check out books on AS. Which until I started all this searching it never occurred to me to read books on AS and not just look up articles online. Until now I've always just looked up the answers I need. When I first found out what AS actually was 3-4 years ago I looked up symptoms, things AS related, and wrote them on a piece of paper with a blank puzzle on it. I colored in the different pieces with corresponding colors of what I liked and didn't like the AS caused. What I could try to work on, what I could fix, what I could mask. I'll admit if someone asked me if I wanted cured of AS I'd say, no.

Honestly at this point I find myself less and less afraid of passing on AS to my kids. I know that many Aspies grow up to be successful adults. It's more the childhood I am scared of then anything. Kids are cruel, that has never changed. We had two kids in my high school that were mentally disabled, and everyone loved them and treated them like equals. Whereas I was bullied constantly until about mid way through high school when I learned how to defend myself. It was never physical bullying always mental. I'm one of those people that is usually hurt worse by words.

Now I'm just scared about the original question. Will my kids be Aspies or will they have a worse condition on the spectrum just because I'm on the spectrum to begin with. I'm scared that because of me my child could be a low functioning, mind never developes past a 2 year old, autisic. Part of it is, I can barely handle the way my brain works, I can't imagine being the cause of my child having almost no possession over their body or brain. The other part is I want to be a mom, soon. But if I gave birth to a full blown autistic I don't know that I could afford to provide for my child at this stage in my life. There are so many more things those kids need.

Like I said though I'm starting to feel better and better about this now that I'm not melting down like I was last night. I talked to my husband when he got home, and cried... a lot, and he is very supportive. He said that even if we did have a low functioning autisic that we would still find a way to provide for our child. I still want to have kids, but I want to find out all I can about this before I do. Like I said my main question being what string of autisim is possible for me to pass on. I feel like if I gave birth knowing I could pass on a low specturm autisim to my kid I would be failing as a parent and like I said... I'm terrified of failiure of even the smallest account let alone something of that magnetude.

[Wondergirl]

Well, my father-in-law was high functioning and he had a son (my husband) who is even higher functioning and he had a son who is, in some ways, more high functioning than he is and not Asperger's (is hyperlexic), but still on the spectrum.

I just called my home library to get them to work on your question, and I will continue to work on it too at home.

Temple Grandin is a female, has a Ph.D. in animal science, has Asperger's, and has redesigned 60%+ of the slaughterhouses in the US so that animals are killed humanely (and not in the horrible ways they used to be slaughtered). One of her books is Thinking in Pictures.

Many of the services available for autistic kids are free or very low cost. Having an autistic child might be somewhat frustrating, but who better to understand one than you, and maybe your husband! I have a friend with an Asperger's son who is around ten years old. She took him to see a movie and had brought snacks in her purse for them to eat during the show (to avoid buying the high-priced movie candy). On the ticket window was a sign that said moviegoers cannot bring food into the theater. My friend's son apparently read the sign and blurted out to the ticket taker, "My mom has snacks in her purse." My friend told me, "Busted by a literal-thinking kid!"

I just ordered two copies of the Asperger's/cats book from Amazon (one to donate to my library which doesn't have it).

[JudyKayTee]

Totally out of place but WG's sharing and honesty always deeply touch my heart.

Applause and a "helpful."

"We" are looking at a possible diagnosis of autism and WG has provided me with some great resources and taken away the panic.

[Wondergirl]

Research results: It is so far inconclusive if an Asperger's parent (even one who has only a few Asperger's characteristics) will have a low-functioning autistic child. Early research is showing that a child would be on the same level or even higher-functioning. That has been the experience in my husband's family where there's a genetic component. Low-functioning autism probably has an entirely different "cause" (not genetics) which has yet to be determined. The current theory is obese mothers "cause" autism. (In the past, theories have been "refrigerator" moms, poor parenting, and mercury in vaccines.)

[BiWiccanAndProud]

Sorry it took me so long to hop back on. I've been so engrossed with a book on Asperger's that I checked out. I'm finding answers to stuff that I wasn't even looking for, and I love it. I'm so glad that I have gotten myself motivated in learning about my condition. It's overwhelming at times but I'm glad I'm doing it.

Having an autistic child might be somewhat frustrating, but who better to understand one than you, and maybe your husband!

Especially so I can better understand my kids. :)

Temple Grandin is a female, has a Ph.D. in animal science, has Asperger's, and has redesigned 60%+ of the slaughterhouses in the US so that animals are killed humanely (and not in the horrible ways they used to be slaughtered). One of her books is Thinking in Pictures.

She sounds incredibly interesting. I don't know that my library carries any of her books but I will certainly check. If they don't I'll try to find them on Ebay or Amazon. What titles would you recommend? Right now I'm working on getting a book called The Hidden Curriculum. It's supposed to help with the "unspoken" social rules, and there are still plenty I don't have down even at age 22 (well almost 22).

"My mom has snacks in her purse."

I think I can acctually remember doing that to my parents a few times when I was a kid :). There was once when my mom told me to pretend I was the age that you can get in the movies free (even though I was a year past). I was so uncomfortable with the idea but didn't want to upset my mom that I just looked at the ground and hoped the guy wouldn't directly ask me how old I was.

I just ordered two copies of the Asperger's/cats book from Amazon (one to donate to my library which doesn't have it).]

I'm glad :D that is incredibly nice of you to do that for your library. I wish more people in my town were like that. I don't know if the book will help anyone like it did me, but I enjoy it so much that I'm wanting one of my own. My husband told me he would buy it for me his next paycheck.

Research results: It is so far inconclusive if an Asperger's parent (even one who has only a few Asperger's characteristics) will have a low-functioning autistic child. Early research is showing that a child would be on the same level or even higher-functioning. That has been the experience in my husband's family where there's a genetic component. Low-functioning autism probably has an entirely different "cause" (not genetics) which has yet to be determined. The current theory is obese mothers "cause" autism. (In the past, theories have been "refrigerator" moms, poor parenting, and mercury in vaccines.)

The relief I'm feeling right now can't even begin to be explained. I'm so excited to know that I won't be passing on something lower-functioning to my future children, and even more so at the fact they may be higher functioning. Thank you so... so so much WG for being such a huge help to me. You don't begin to know how much I appreciate it. If you don't mind me asking, I don't know anyone with AS personally. If I have any other concerns or confusions regarding AS, can I come to you? I've looked and can't find any AS support groups near my town, and am looking into an AS therapist, but who knows when I can afford it you know?

mercury in vaccines

So are vaccines potentially dangerous?

[Wondergirl]

Sorry it took me so long to hop back on. I've been so engrossed with a book on Asperger's that I checked out. I'm finding answers to stuff that I wasn't even looking for, and I love it. I'm so glad that I have gotten myself motivated in learning about my condition. It's overwhelming at times but I'm glad I'm doing it.

My home library has a nice collection of books on Asperger's, so I will check out those I haven't read yet.

[Temple Grandin] sounds incredibly interesting.

I really enjoyed her books. Thinking in Pictures: and other reports from my life with autism is a good one for understanding how an Aspie thinks and why. Check for other titles on the Internet or Amazon. She's a contributing editor for an autism magazine I subscribe to and have been published in (Autism Asperger's Digest).

I'm glad :D that is incredibly nice of you to do that for your library.

I received the two All Cats have Asperger's Syndrome books yesterday, and am donating one of them to my library today. Now I have to decide if I want to shelve my copy with my cat books or with my Asperger's books. :)

If you don't mind me asking, I don't know anyone with AS personally. If I have any other concerns or confusions regarding AS, can I come to you?

Feel free to contact me at any time. This site might interest you -- http://www.wrongplanet.net/

So are vaccines potentially dangerous?

Only if a child doesn't get them. There are new outbreaks of formerly conquered diseases because parents have chosen not to allow their babies to be vaccinated.