[honestanswers]

I am in a four year relationship and I adore my boyfriend, however about 2 years ago I found that he was talking to his ex over the internet, since that time I have found it extremely hard to trust him, I am always checking his phone, his Facebook, I know that its wrong and unfair to him, but I just can't help it. I also found out that he cheated with another women but he has never admitted to it.

Recently another problem has arose of porn, I've spoke to my friends and they all think that its normal for guys with girlfriends to watch porn and look at photos of other women. But to me it makes me feel unattractive, worthless and like his always looking for something better because all the women he's looking at are beautiful with stunning figures, it makes me feel sick to my stomach. The first time I told him how it made me feel he just started to hide it more from me. Recently his been asking for different things in the bedroom which he wouldn't usually want, in some ways I feel like I should do it because it might stop him watching the porn, but in another way I feel like his thinking of the porn while we are intimate.

Little things bother me that I find that would have never bothered me before and I find myself being off with him and I don't even want him to talk or touch me. I feel so helpless I feel like I can't leave because I adore him and I feel like a crazy annoying girlfriend that guys would complain about their nagging. At the same time I don't want to make him unhappy which I feel is what I'm doing but I can't help the way it makes me feel.

Please give me honest answers thank you x

[mmresd]

It seems that the problems are with you. Staying with someone who cheated, feelings bad about the boyfriend watching porn, being jealous all day with tendencies to check everything, and thinking that he is thinking about other women when you are both being intimate all leans toward one thing. Your head, your confidence, and yourself esteem. Work on it and things in your relationships will be better. Break things off with the cheater and work on yourself, you need to learn to value yourself more.

[Fr_Chuck]

Men ( most ) watch porn and you doing or not doing "things" in the bed room will not change that. Perhaps watching it with him as part of foreplay or so on. Him watching porn has nothing to do at all about you, It does not mean anything about your looks.

I will be blunt no matter if you are a super model, there are normally someone who also looks better, so being the perfect look is not an issue, a person loves the other one for many more reasons than looks and as you get older, your looks will fade ( at least some)

He cheated on a past lover?? OK, so what ? What was that relationship like, he left them both for you, Have you ever had a past lover ? Should he be worried you may want to go back to them perhaps ?

Searching his phone, put it down and walk away, that is crossing every line and he may well leave you if you keep this up, not because he wants to, but because he can't put up with your snooping all the time.

Get counseling, you are having fears based on nothing and are totally unrealistic in your demands.