[Depressed in MO]

Hi everyone...

It's good to be back. If it's OK, I'd like to vent a little on a situation I witnessed just yesterday afternoon.

I have a teen daughter. Yesterday, I was working from home so she messaged me to please come and pick her up from the bus stop. She was already upset with me because we had a prior debate over the fact that I would not let her go to a friend's house (to stay the night) on a school night. So the entire way to the bus stop, I was dreading the conversation that I thought was about to come...

Once I arrived, my daughter got into the vehicle and started telling me how she couldn't stand this one girl at her bus stop because she was always picking on kids and starting fights, etc... she explained to me how earlier that morning, she physically hit another girl (from the same bus stop) because she simply just did not like her. I thought to myself, "oh just more teen drama...".

So my daughter is pointing out this girl she couldn't stand to me as this girl is walking home from the bus stop. Meanwhile, the other girl whom she was bullying was one of the last students to get off the bus-which my daughter pointed her out to me at that point to explain that she was the one being bullied.
As she was explaining all of this to me, the "mean" girl comes running up and starting punching this other little girl in the face! I immediately jump out of my car yelling at this girl to leave the other girl alone, along with other parents who were at the bus stop witnessing this whole experience.

This entire situation just eats at me, even right now. I called the police-which they didn't answer-it rang several times and went to some kind of voice mail. So then I called 911. They sent police over right away. Basically, all the police man told the girl and her parents was that one of them should have reported it to the bus driver in the first place. I was like "um, what was the bus driver doing whenever the girl got punched in the face earlier when they were actually on the bus?"...

Anyway, this is the entire story in a nutshell. These girls' ages range from 12-14 years old. My heart is broken for this little girl as she was unable to defend herself, nor was anyone else able to defend her. I did all I could do for her, but I just wish there was something else more I could do. I've never witnessed an experience like this before... I mean I've seen fights in school and such when I was a kid, but this really hit close to my heart and I can't understand how or why it feels so different than when I witnessed stuff like that myself as a child. She and her family thanked and hugged me and my daughter and they went home.
Needless to say, that argument I anticipated having with my daughter no longer existed to either one of us. She even hugged me last night and she NEVER does that!

My daughter messaged me this morning telling me that the little girl that was being bullied was not at the bus stop. But the "mean" girl was and she was bragging about how much trouble she was going to be in and all that-as if it were cool or some kind of joke.

It's hard to feel sorry for this "mean" girl, even though I know she must be going through something awful in life to become this way and she probably needs some kind of special attention or help herself. But I can't help but be angry with her as I know what it's like to be hit-I know how bad it can hurt, and even how bad it can hurt to hit back. My heart is truly broken for the girl that got hit. I wonder how she is doing, how this will affect her in life moving forward. I really feel for her and I don't even know who she is.

Sorry for the novel, I just needed to vent, maybe on some suggestions on things I can do to feel better about this situation or if maybe there is something more I can do to help this kid... Seeing things like this happen from the outside really makes you think.

[IWLTK]

I'm no expert but perhapd notifying the school about this incident and encouraging other parent who's children go to the same bus your daughter, is the way to go about this. This "mean" girl seem to be lacking attention in her life. It is clear with her picking fights and bragging about her "achievements" which is sad. If you can get this bully to some how take manditory counseling then I'm sure things would get better. I'm sorry about your Problem, hope this triggers a thought that can help.

[Homegirl 50]

I think what you did was good, it was something. You didn't just watch and shake your head. Your daughter should be proud of you.
I would report the incident to the school as well. Get a group of parents together and talk to school officials to see what their plan of action is against this type of thing.

[Fr_Chuck]

The bully is not scared because nothing is going to happen to her.

1. Her parents most likely do not care or they are bully type people also.

2. She was off the bus and no longer the problem of the school,

3. She is a juv and the police if they do anything at all, ( and I bet they do nothing) will have her to to juv court, where it is all society issues and they put her in some probation for a few months.

[JudyKayTee]

My husband was on the schoool board for years. When it's an incident in the school, on the property, during transportation to and from the school, in our area it's reported to the School Administrator/Principal. It's also reported to the Board of Education AND the school board. That shakes some action loose.

I agree with FrChuck BUT in my area (again, maybe only in my area) the child is kicked out of school and becomes someone else's problem - I'm sure she beats up a whole other group of people - but not your child or her friends.

[Depressed in MO]

The bully is not scared because nothing is going to happen to her.

1. Her parents most likely do not care or they are bully type people also.

2. She was off the bus and no longer the problem of the school,

3. She is a juv and the police if they do anything at all, ( and I bet they do nothing) will have her to to juv court, where it is all society issues and they put her in some probation for a few months.

You are absolutely right my friend! She has a court date and that is all she knows-it's like she thinks that makes her look cool or something.

Word in the neighborhood is that her dad is in prison and her mom is a crackhead. Now I don't how much of that is true, but I do know that the girl currently resides with her grandmother...

[Depressed in MO]

I'm no expert but perhapd notifying the school about this incident and encouraging other parent who's children go to the same bus your daughter, is the way to go about this. This "mean" girl seem to be lacking attention in her life. It is clear with her picking fights and bragging about her "achievements" which is sad. If you can get this bully to some how take manditory counseling then I'm sure things would get better. I'm sorry about your Problem, hope this triggers a thought that can help.

That is an excellent idea. I think the girls' parents went in and spoke to the school about it the next day as they were instructed to do so. It's just a sad story and really broke my heart to see it.