Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    lisagw411's Avatar
    lisagw411 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 24, 2012, 11:55 AM
    Help me - can't handle needy husband
    I am clueless as to what I should do and appreciate any outside advice. Here is my situation (apologizing in advance for the length). My husband is very high maintenance and incredibly needy. After a conversation we had this past weekend - he is upset that our life isn't what it use to be before our son was born. In a nutshell - he is jealous that his son gets more attention from me than he does. How is our life now? We have a 2 year old son who was recently diagnosed with autism. I am a work from home mom who spends five days out of my week dealing with four different therapist while trying to complete my hours for work. I designate Saturday as family day so all three of us can do things together and we focus on trying to play catch-up and getting things done around the house on sundays. I can't even find time for myself and yet I have a husband who is complaining that I am not making enough time for him. We agreed on trying to do quality time at least once a month were I would set work aside (getting up early the next day to make up the hours) and just spend time with him. That isn't enough. I spend the weekend mornings in bed with him before our son gets up (still not enough for him). I have no idea what to do. I am spread so thin and he wants more and is not happy. It is getting to the point that I just don't even care anymore. Please help...
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #2

    Apr 24, 2012, 07:46 PM
    How much does your husband do to help you with the home and your (I am using it in plural form) child?

    Find some time when you and your husband can sit down and talk. You might want to write out your weekly or monthly schedule and include everything from eating to doing your hours for work. Show him here your time goes. Explain to him that you are not a robot and need help. By him helping around the house and being a daddy and partner, it will free up some of your time and make you more open to being affectionate and intimate with him. Being with him should not feel like you are raising another child or like a chore added to your already long list.

    I would suggest counseling, but would you have time? Would he be willing? Have you talked any of the therapists about support groups?

    Do you have any time to yourself to unwind and want to remember you are a woman as well as a mother?

    Even if your son wasn't needing extra care, a child changes a relationship and the amount of time you have together. It is a fact of life. Is there someone other than yourself who could talk with him about his expectations and how far from reality they are right now?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Apr 24, 2012, 07:50 PM
    You of course need a "self or night with friends once or twice a month where he keeps child and you get a chance to get out and away.

    Then both of you need at least once a month a date night, get a sitter and the two of you go out, every once in a while make it a over night even local. Or sitter away from the house and have the house to yourself.

    Couples who do not do a date night at least once a month often find trouble since they forget about dating and relationship with each other.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Dealing with a needy and insecure husband [ 2 Answers ]

My husband and I have been married only 5 months and we are in counseling. He is driving me nuts; his neediness and insecurities are exhausting me. I do all I can to be a good wife and mother to his two boys. I take care of our home, cook, and never say no to his husbandly needs, even at 5 a.m. ...

How do you handle your husband maybe having a baby by another woman? [ 7 Answers ]

About two years ago my brother in law and husband goes out to a christmas party (they are identical twins) later that night my husband get sick and end up in the hospital the next year my brother in law tells me that he has a son and he need me to babysit for him while he works so being the nice...

I snapped the tip off the shower handle. Unable to screw new handle. It's a symmons [ 3 Answers ]

I have a symmons shower faucet. While removing the old shower handle I snapped the tip off where you screw the handle on. There is no way to attach the new shower handle. Help

How would you handle if your friend told you that your husband attempted her to rape? [ 12 Answers ]

How would you handle if your friend told you that your husband attempted her to rape?

Need advise on how to handle husbands best friend and husband [ 7 Answers ]

I am new to this but at my wits end. My husband and I have been married 10 years and dated about 8 years prior to getting married. The problem is his best friend. They have been friends since high school, they are now close to 50. The best friend has been divorced every since I have known him. ...


View more questions Search