[willow9098]

My boyfriend told me that he has strong feelings for me but doesn't know what he wants now. We had an disagreement because I expressed a concern about him being rude and inconsiderate to me lately - not calling and saying good-by before leaving town for a few days and heading straight to the bar with his friends when he returns, before calling me. He said he used to be really happy but now he is scared, because he got burned really bad once and he has been with me the longest since that relationship, and he is not sure what he wants and he is depressed cause his life is so terrible. But, he wants me to give him a few days?? Is that fair to me? And what the *&^$%#$%& does that mean? Is that the coward's way of saying "I don't want to see you anymore"! I know I have been very good to him and very accommodating up until the past few weeks. He expected me to sit around and wait on him and I didn't, I went out dancing, etc... I'm not sure what to do from here. Very hurt, angry and confused!!

[chuff]

My boyfriend told me that he has strong feelings for me but doesn't know what he wants now.

Which is his way of saying he wants a break.

We had an disagreement because I expressed a concern about him being rude and inconsiderate to me lately - not calling and saying good-by before leaving town for a few days and heading straight to the bar with his friends when he returns, before calling me.

Yes that is pretty rude, unless he gave a valid reason. But it sounds like he wants out.

He said he used to be really happy but now he is scared, because he got burned really bad once and he has been with me the longest since that relationship, and he is not sure what he wants and he is depressed cause his life is so terrible.

But why is his life so terrible? Because of you or something else going on.

But, he wants me to give him a few days??? Is that fair to me?

Yes it is. If you want a relationship with him then you need to drop the me, me, me syndrome and listen to him, him, him. Maybe the reason he’s depressed is because he feels like what he’s doing isn’t good enough or he isn’t met with any kind of respect or approval.

If you want a relationship then you respect his decision to ask for a few day and give it to him.

And what the *&^$%#$%& does that mean?

That means he wants a few days to understand himself and his position in life at this time.

Is that the coward's way of saying "I don't want to see you anymore"!

No. The coward’s way would be to not call you and just leave. The good guy’s way would be to express his concerns and ask for some time to regroup and refocus without being judged.

I know I have been very good to him and very accommodating up until the past few weeks. He expected me to sit around and wait on him and I didn't, I went out dancing, etc.... I'm not sure what to do from here. Very hurt, angry and confused!!!

You sure seem to have a good idea of what he expected you to do. It also really gives me the impression you don’t care about him or the relationship as much as he does or wants to. He admits he’s depressed and asks for some time alone to reevaluate himself and his life and you accuse him of attempting to make you sit around and wait for him. To be honest I think I see why he’s confused and depressed. He gets no respect or approval and God forbid he ask for time alone to build himself up, since you don’t seem to encourage him, and even then he still gets put down as not being good enough.

[Brigette]

My boyfriend told me that he has strong feelings for me but doesn't know what he wants now. We had an disagreement because I expressed a concern about him being rude and inconsiderate to me lately - not calling and saying good-by before leaving town for a few days and heading straight to the bar with his friends when he returns, before calling me. He said he used to be really happy but now he is scared, because he got burned really bad once and he has been with me the longest since that relationship, and he is not sure what he wants and he is depressed cause his life is so terrible. But, he wants me to give him a few days??? Is that fair to me? And what the *&^$%#$%& does that mean? Is that the coward's way of saying "I don't want to see you anymore"! I know I have been very good to him and very accommodating up until the past few weeks. He expected me to sit around and wait on him and I didn't, I went out dancing, etc.... I'm not sure what to do from here. Very hurt, angry and confused!!!

Dear willow9098-

It appears to me, that after all of this time supporting him and being accommodating, you are awefully quick to be willing to give up your relationship with him. So maybe the question that should be considered, is who is giving up on the relationship, or who is looking for an easy way out?

[Guest]

If someone shows you their true colors, believe what you see... you can do better girl