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Kycolonel84 · Apr 20, 2012, 03:22 AM

So my daughter's father and I split up after 4 1/2 years and she was only 1 1/2 years old. We have joint custody and I'm primary but we spilt everything 50/50. However, days after he had a new girlfriend after six months she become pregnant and they married. Every since the day they got together my life has been full of drama, she told my daughter to call her mommy and call me mean mommy. She has to do all means of communication and her father was not allowed. My daughter is now 5 years old. Recently I blocked her number so that her father has to communicate with me, every since that day she has prank called me numerous times, she took it on herself to cut my daughters hair, so me being her mother I fixed it how I wanted it, and then she cut two more inches off her hair, then tells her its her fault! I was furious but what I to do? She has made her watch chuckie, I could go on. The problem is everysince I blocked her number my daughter asks to go to her dads everyday she is with me and cries. I let her call him but he usually doesn't answer. I will call to check on her and will not answer me as well. Basically I am just wanting advice on what to do? Just put yourself in my shoes.

ScottGem · Apr 20, 2012, 03:37 AM

Have you talked to the father? Is he aware that his wife is alienating your child from you? If he won't put a stop to it, then tell him you will have to take more drastic steps. But you need to take the high road here. Tell him you don't want to interfere with your daughter's relationship to his wife, but she should not be interfering with your relationship to your daughter. Tell him she needs to understand there are boundaries.

In the meantime, keep a journal of all these incidents. Also you may need to have your daughter talk to a therapist so she can learn how to cope. For example. If she tells your daughter to refer to you as "mean mommy", your daughter should respond by saying 'my mommy is not mean and she is my mommy'. If the step mom wants to cut her hair, she should respond, 'you have to ask my mommy first'.

Parental alienation is against the law in some areas. So if she persists and you can prove it, you can have the father's visitation restricted and require supervised visits.

KrissyI12cjc · Apr 20, 2012, 12:57 PM

I agree with Scott. Make sure and talk to the father and let him know what is going on. And she has no right to cut your daughter's hair. She is totally out of line there and needs to know her place also she can't let your daughter watch inappropriate movies that movie is not age appropriate at all. You should make it clear to your husband that this will not be tolerated. And I personally would have spoken to his wife and let her know up front that she cannot be making decisions like that (cutting your daughter hair) without your permission of course I would have done this in a respectable manner.

emolovin14 · Apr 20, 2012, 07:55 PM

My step mom is like this with me too!! (except I don't like her) I'm 12 and she is constantly making me do what she wants and she's is making my dad get involved with it! I complain to my real mother constantly saying I don't want to go to my dads house because I know my step mom is going to make me do something she wants. She forces me to go to church which is againts my religion!! She makes me wear tons of pink, no black what so ever and tells me to wear my hair a certain way. So I would tell her dad about what her step mom is doing to her because going through with what my step mom does it ruins my life so you don't want your daughter to be like me with a very sad life so tell her dad about it and have her only visit on weekends(thats what I do from Friday until sunday) and have your daughter spend more time with her dad instead of her step mom because she's mainly there to spend time with her dad right? So put your foot down she prank calls you call the cops!

Fr_Chuck · Apr 20, 2012, 07:59 PM

So start enforcing your child custody agreement, if it is not 50/50, stop allowing it to be, or explain to dad that you will start charging it, if he does not step in.
He has the right to talk to , pick up your daughter, she does not. She is not the mother and she is playing a poor child as a tool in this.

If she keeps this up, take him back to court and use her actions to take away more of his visit time.

mystepmomlife · May 30, 2012, 06:24 PM

I am a step-mom and I think that this is completely unacceptable behavior. It is a power issue right now, she is trying to show you that she has the power and in the long run your daughter is going to suffer for it. While I am a big part of my step-kids life I never (well try to never) say a bad word about their mother in front of them. I gave them the option of calling me mom or calling me by my first name, if I hear them being rude or disrespectful to their mom or about their mom in front of me I make them apoligize to her. No matter what you are her mother, no one can take that from you. Right now it may be hard to deny her going to see her father when she wants to go but you need the time with her too. As far as the father not answering the phone and the prank calls... that is something you should document, keep a careful record of every time something happens, this will help you when you end up back in court.