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danceforme123 · Apr 18, 2012, 10:25 AM

My daughter's room is never clean for more than 10 hours. How can I fix this ? I was thinking of starting allowance but personally I do not believe in paying a child for something they should have done on their own.

Curlyben · Apr 18, 2012, 10:28 AM

It really depends on what you class as clean.
Also what age is your daughter ?

danceforme123 · Apr 18, 2012, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by Curlyben

It really depends on what you class as clean.
Also what age is your daughter ?

12. She never has a clean floor, doesn't make her bed and there are clothes everywhere. She is not respecting the space she is given.

alex_jov0109 · Apr 18, 2012, 10:30 AM

Start taking things she likes from her.

danceforme123 · Apr 18, 2012, 10:33 AM

[QUOTE=alex_jov0109;3088662]Start taking things she likes from her.[/

Ive tried this and it doesn't work on her. She just replaces that thing with something else she loves. I was thinking of paying her per week. If her room stays clean all week, she gets four or five dollars. Is that reasonable?

Wondergirl · Apr 18, 2012, 10:34 AM

Like Ben asked, how old is she? My mom had to first teach us kids how to clean our rooms. She helped us make the beds or change the sheets, made sure there were shelves and baskets and boxes and other places to put our toys and books, then helped us at first put things away. When she was satisfied we knew what to do, she let us do it on our own, but checked up to make sure we had done it correctly, i.e. stuff was off the floor, bed was made, order had been restored.

Kids won't know what you expect unless you show them first.

Curlyben · Apr 18, 2012, 10:38 AM

Remember that POSITIVE enforcement works better than NEGATIVE.
So Reward good and acceptable behaviour and ignore bad.

So, her room is a mess, so what. She has to live with it, you do not.
Don't do anything to her room, YOU are not to tidy it or anything else.
In fact make it clear you will not enter her room unless you have clear floor to stand on.

She'll soon start tidying up when she doesn't have clean clothes or can't find something she wants..

Wondergirl · Apr 18, 2012, 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by Curlyben

She'll soon start tidying up when she doesn't have clean clothes or can't find something she wants..

Unfortunately, that isn't always true. My husband and his four sibs always had messy rooms and would just grab whatever clothes were lying on the floor to wear to school. They would literally wade through debris (school papers, dirty clothes, toys, books, etc.) as they walked around in their rooms. (Those without spouses to pick up after them or yell at them still live this way.)

alex_jov0109 · Apr 18, 2012, 10:47 AM

How old is she? You don't want to give her money for somethimg she HAS to do. Don't her used to that instead you should reward her with something else take her to the movies buy her something etc..

redhed35 · Apr 18, 2012, 12:58 PM

Does she ever have friends over? Nothing like a little peer pressure in the right direction of course.

At 12 she is just heading into those teenage years, now is a good time to lay down the law, have you thought about taking her mattress away? Her door? Extreme I know ( its works, I did it with mine).

Let her know what's going to happen if she does not clean her room, give her a deadline, if she does not do it you do it, but take EVERYTHING, clothes, books, TV, everything! Gradually give them back as she shows she can respect the space in your house.

I'm not going to say she'll take it on the chin, most likely she will kick up a fuss, but stick to your guns this once and you probably won't ever have to do it again.