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fr51nn · Apr 14, 2012, 01:36 PM

I have a beautiful, smart daughter. She lives as home, going to school (working on her associates degree). Doesn't work, pay any bills and has recently been dumped by her boyfriend of a year and a half. She stays out all night every night, comes home and sleeps during the day. She tells us to let her live her life. We've told her we can't afford her lifestyle anymore. She's angry and bitter all the time. And doesn't even attempt to get a parttime job. Help I am at wits end. I want her to spend more time at home and less time out. She won't hear of it. I need help, my husband and I argue all the time about it. Its ruining our marriage.

cdad · Apr 14, 2012, 02:37 PM

Is she still going to school? Are her grades slipping?

Fr_Chuck · Apr 14, 2012, 02:55 PM

1. Don't pay for her a car
2. don't pay for her a cell phone or a very basic one that just calls
3. don't give her any money to go out.
4. Your house your rules, she follows the rules or she gets evicted,

It is simple, none of my kids did nothing at home, and they had times to come home ( unless agreed that they were staying out) And if they were in school, they had to be home to sleep for school, I guess you are paying for school?

fr51nn · Apr 14, 2012, 03:55 PM

Yes she is in school her grades are good. She hasn't missed any classes.

Alty · Apr 14, 2012, 04:07 PM

She's not a child, so stop treating her like one, and stop letting her act like one. If she wants to live her life, then she has to pay for her way of life. It's that simple.

If she's living under your roof, not paying any bills, then she has to follow your rules, or get out and live on her own.

It's time to be tough. She shouldn't be allowed to do what she wants when you're paying for it. She shouldn't be allowed to cause an uproar in the family home and cause stress between you and your husband. Are you the parent or aren't you? Stop being her friend, and her bank, and start being her mother. Harsh but true.

Sit her down. Tell her that she either starts paying for her lifestyle, or starts following your rules. If she can't abide by the house rules, she can get out. She's old enough to take care of herself, and maybe this is exactly the lesson she needs. Nothing in life is free.