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    brokensmile's Avatar
    brokensmile Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 13, 2012, 11:05 AM
    I want to be put into care
    I'm 14 and I've been unhappy at home since I was really young, it doesn't feel like a home and we basically have to look after ourselves. My dad lives in dubai and sends money home to my mum to spend on our food and clothes. My mum has a really bad case of multiple sclerosis, and takes it out on us, like its our fault. The money that's sent over, she spends on herself (cigarettes, ornaments, food). We make our own food and buy our own clothes. When I say she takes it out on us, I mean she constantly screams at us, hits us, blames everything on us, makes us feel about ourselves, she's like a bully. I know her condition affects her brain, but its made us all hate her. I can't stand to be in the same room as her because of how she makes me feel about myself, knowing that she'll make some comment about me, my little sister feels the same. I hate it here, I'd do anything to get out of here. I've run away 3 times, and she didn't even care. To make things worse, I get angry about things as well, in school mostly, so I have a lot of enemies, but they also make me feel about myself, I don't mean to insult them but it happens a lot, so yeah... what can I do? I know if I try to talk to someone, I'll just cry and get angry, I just want to get out of this house..
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Apr 13, 2012, 11:10 AM
    Is there a teacher at school you can confide in, or an adult relative who knows how bad your situation is? Which country are you in?
    brokensmile's Avatar
    brokensmile Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Apr 13, 2012, 11:12 AM
    I don't trust any of them, and they all know, they just are too scared to do anything about it
    And england
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #4

    Apr 13, 2012, 11:18 AM
    In the US, we have abuse and child protective service hot line phone numbers. Do you know of anything like that in the UK? We do have a Youth and Teen Expert on site, so I will PM her to give you some good advice.

    Why don't you trust "them"? (family? Teachers?)
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #5

    Apr 13, 2012, 02:25 PM
    Contact ChildLine by phone | Talk | ChildLine

    Hi brokensmile, the link above is for childline, I know you have probably heard a lot about it, this is a site where you can look up about the counsellors and what they do and call if you need to.

    Because of your mothers illness there are services that can help ( not like social services) but home support services, ill give you an idea of what they do, I'm a community support officer in ireland ( well just in my community!) and I also give home support to families like yours, I go into their home, I sometimes cook meals, sort out medications, make appointments, take the kids to school, help with homework, and talk to the kids and parents about what they need and how to improve the home situation.

    How you can get home support is from the district health nurse, if you Google district health nurse in your area you'll see where there offices are.

    Right, so you see there is help out there, problem is brokensmile they don't know how unhappy you are, they don't know your family need a little support now.

    You say your family know but are afraid to do or say anything to help, I kind of understand that, lots of the families I first started helping did'nt trust me, they were afraid the kids would be taken away or they would get into trouble, and do you know what, some of those families were in a very bad state, much worse then you, but life is a lot easier for them now.

    Social care is different then social work, sometimes when kids or families hear 'social workers' they totally freak out, BUT social CARE workers are different.

    Here is a list of things you can do to change your families situation.

    1. check out the childline link and contact a councillor there ( its free! And they do really want to help, and if you don't want to tell them your name that's OK too, just to talk it over is fine with them).

    2. check out your local district health nurse and make contact, send an email or make a phone call, better still make an appoinment and go in to talk to them.

    3. tell a teacher at school what's happening at home, the school councillor, or a teacher you like.

    4. write to your dad, not a phone call, write a letter and tell him in the letter, don't bad mouth your mom, just tell it straight.

    5. talk to the nicest family member you have, don't shout, try and stay calm and ask for help.

    If none of these things work, come back and ill find another avenue for you.

    I know things seem really bad right now, and your doing the best you can.

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