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    Ugly76's Avatar
    Ugly76 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 9, 2012, 10:59 PM
    I must be ugly
    Why is it when my husband looks and stares at other women? We went out for dinner by ourselves. I was in a middle of a conversation when he look at this chick and watch her sit in a seat next to us. This is not the first time I've caught him out. I don't mind him looking but why must he stare and double or triple take aspecially in front of me. He makes me feel very uncomfortable and very ugly. I wish he had eyes just for me, but I doubt that will ever happen.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Apr 10, 2012, 12:15 AM
    Have you told your husband how it makes you feel?

    I doubt very much that your ugly!

    Men look, they do,when your out and about take note, I bet men are checking you out too, perhaps a little discrection would not go astray on his part, and a conversation with your husband how uncomfortable you feel when he stares.

    If he is aware of the problem he might just reign it in, its not nice for other women either when a man is staring at her.
    jaffeyjoeblaze's Avatar
    jaffeyjoeblaze Posts: 157, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Apr 10, 2012, 12:43 AM
    Its not that you are ugly, but us men tend to have wandering eyes... some of us do it discreetly without being noticed or some of us do it without a care in the world... I don't think you are the issue, the issue is that we like to look... that is all
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Apr 10, 2012, 03:51 AM
    Personally I think this is something we eventually get used to. Assuming the other half hasn't cheated and given us reason to be suspicious. At the beginning of my relationship I felt sick at the thought of him looking at other women, or watching porn. Now I'm much more at ease on the subject. It'll be different for other women assumingly.

    You aren't ugly. I think all of us feel unattractive one way or the other. But I believe we're beautiful in our own way!
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #5

    Apr 10, 2012, 04:03 AM
    I think it is something men do but most are not quite so blatant and rude about it. Tell him you don't have a problem with him looking but you'd appreciate it if he did not gawk when you are present.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #6

    Apr 10, 2012, 04:49 AM
    Studies have shown that men do gawk, but we don't need studies to know it's true!
    It almost seems to be part of their genetic code, while women are more wired for a wider range of attributes in men to determine how likely they are to be good and faithful providers during the dependent years of child rearing.
    Many people claim that husbands who gawk are more reliable and less likely to stray than men who don't.
    Ask him to tone it down, but also try to think of some witty ways to deal with it, such as 'Honey I need $300 for the same outfit and hairdo she has.' If he says 'it wouldn't do any good' say 'that's right, she spent at least twice that.' Use your wiles.
    You can even pretend to notice some handsome guy on the other side of the room, and gawk and say WOW now there's a good looking guy. A little tit for tat, a dose of his own medicine, and a lesson - without any harm done.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #7

    Apr 10, 2012, 05:13 AM
    I don't think you need to resort to pretending and playing games. Just tell him how you feel and depending on his response you deal with it then. Perhaps he does not realize how much it bothers you, perhaps he just does not care, I don't know but neither will you until you talk to him.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #8

    Apr 10, 2012, 06:37 AM
    So you give him a kick and tell him to take a photo if he needs to look that close.

    I bet you did not say anything? Why not?

    Men look, and if you let them get by with it, will do it more open than they should some time.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #9

    Apr 10, 2012, 06:47 AM
    My favorite saying is... Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't read the menu. Meaning, just because I'm married doesn't mean I can't look at other men as long as I don't lust over them.
    jaybob124's Avatar
    jaybob124 Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #10

    Apr 10, 2012, 01:47 PM
    We men can't help it. It takes effort not to look. Don't take it personal. You could look like jessica alba and his eyes would probably still wander
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #11

    Apr 15, 2012, 10:44 AM
    Your looks have nothing to do with his rude behavior, or the fact that you cannot ignore it or take it personally, but its still rude. Tell him so, as you spill the water glass into his lap, or leave him where he is.

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