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This is a text book AMHD case.
Girl breaks but sends mixed signals. She needs the right to live with the responsibilities of her actions. You don't need to be mean or rude, just SILENT. Pretend you are in 3rd grade and the teacher is talking. You don't jump up and go hug her or call out to her... If you want her to call on you, simply raise your hand (in this case, yor "hand" is a respectful goodbye. She knows your number) When she is wise enough to call on you and at least 2-3 months have passed and she has something concrete to say, talk to her. Until then, let go if you want to rekindle later. It will give you perspective too. No one just walks away after 3 years. So, it's going to be HARD. For both of you. If it's meant to be. It will. Hang in there. And trust the advice of those that have "been there" Good luck! |
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Thanks for the advice guys,
I guess the hardest thing at this point is just these first few days. I know we have been broken up for the last few weeks, but we maintained contact. I almost feel as if I am breaking up all over again. Jiser - I have already been going to the gym at school every day :) To anyone else reading this, it truly does help. As far as I can tell, the gym and my music help a lot. Last night I went on a good 30 mile drive, just so I could listen to my music. Ash - what exactly is AMHD? I truly believe that deep down she doesn't know what its like to live without, as she has called and contacted me in the last 3 weeks quite often. I feel it is unfair for me to help her with the hurt, when I am left to deal with it on my own. I refuse to help her feel better about crushing me, only to hear that "I am trying to get over you" when I call her for comfort. I guess I just got fed up, and am giving up on being friends... for now. There's always time for that later right? |
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Man I'm going through the samething... when my girl ended it w/ me man I tried anything and everything to get back w/ her... I have to do the I don't care treatment... now... its hard... but you know for some reason in a long relathship I've seen, 80 percent of the time THEY ALWAYS COME BACK. But when they do its your turn to think about it... just give it time... wait... you have fun while she is.. and when you want to call her think about it... ask yourself a question "why the hell should I call her if she's not calling me? Why should't I have fun when she is?. time will heal your pain... first cuts the deepest... you heal...
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Thanks stunning, I can relate to that...
I guess at this point, I just want her to actually take the time and think like she says she wants to. I don't want her trying to forget all these feelings that she says she still has for me. I want her to think, and to understand what she is doing. Im afraid she is going to move on and then any chance of us getting back together will be lost. I know it isn't my business, and I shouldn't care, but I don't know if I could get over her being with someone else after me, then asking for me back. I wish it weren't that way, but that's the way I feel now... |
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Originally Posted by sypher373
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Wildcat,
Its tough for me to start no contact when all I want to do is be there for her and help her so it isn't so tough on her. I admit now, that seems like it was the right thing to do, but I don't know if anyone can commit to that the first time they experience this... I plan on sticking to the no contact from this point outward, and we will see what happens from here out... Wildcat... do you think it is too late for this to actually work? Do you think that I blew my chance? The way I see it, not much has changed other than me being hurt, I don't think that her feelings have gotten much different for me, so I think that by starting NC now, I will be able to make her miss what she had... Do you think its too late? :-/ I feel like an idiot because I didn't follow the advice when this first happened, but you can't blame me... Live and learn I suppose :( |
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Ergggg,
Guys, I need advice... We talked, and deicded to stop contact for a while, as you would know if you had read my latest update post. She has send me a text message, and a few IMs earlier online. Up to now, I have ignored both, though I feel horrible because she is acting like nothing happened, and I'm not sure if she had the same idea... Maybe I should call her and explain it all as I wanted it? Maybe I should just text her back saying... "I thought we agreed not to talk?" Im really confused... |
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:-/ I feel like an idiot because I didn't follow the advice when this first happened, but you can't blame me... Live and learn I suppose :(
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I feel like a horrible person
Guys,
As of a couple days ago, I asked my ex to discontinue contact with me as I think it was hurting me more than helping me. Her as well. I don't think it was doing either of us much good to keep contact, as I felt she was leading me on, and she kept changing her mind about talking to me. Well, since I talked to her about the no contact, she has texted me each day. The first time, she was telling me she was driving home in the middle of a storm, against her moms wishes... I ignored it, as I didn't see that as very important, but when she called me, I answered and wanted to make sure that it was clear that we both agreed to not have contact. She said that it was and she was now "facing reality" and it was really hard for her. Well today, she has text messaged me again, saying "feel better", as she knows I have not been feeling well. I know this is just a kind gesture, but I don't know if I should ignore it, as I stated I want no contact, or if I should respond. I feel like I should respond, because I don't want to be rude, though all I am doing is giving her what she asked for... space. If I ignore the text message, I feel horrible, as I am ignoring someone whom I still have very strong feelings for... What should I do?! |
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dude your really doing the right thing here.. no contact I'm in the same place as you.. your lucky though your not living with you x :(
but yeah it just hurts after you guys end.. I'm not sure who ended it.. but to have it like it was before with out the rest of the stuff that you guys have in a relationship never works.. and they act differently with you as wel. No way they treat you like there other friends.. your doing the rgiht thing hold off for a bit.. until you get over it and you can learn to go on.. I know you feel guilty and you still care for her. But remember the reason why your doing this.. its for her as much as it is for you :) |
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Stop replying to her she wanted space which is bull to me... either you want to be with someone or you don't... this girl/woman is now playing you along... she wants you there waiting at her will... this serves no purpose in these mails and calls to keep contacting you.
SMELL THE COFFEE HUN, and wake up to that fact that this girl wants you stuck waiting on her... you are not a "puppet" on a string bouncing up and down when she pulls on the string. I say let her be and yes just end this charade once and for all.. find a new person to be happy with. |
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Yeah, I am intent on keeping no contact,
I just wasn't sure If I should message her back, just thanking her for her concern. I wouldn't let that lead to any further messaging or anything else. Is a simple thank you enough to make her think she has me stuck on her?? |
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