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    selvia-ok's Avatar
    selvia-ok Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 2, 2012, 07:55 AM
    Help about long distance, problem about conversation.
    Hi everyone..

    Firstly it will be a bit long.. But I really need help.. Thanks for all..

    I'm selvia.. Me and my boyfriend in a long distance relationship over 1 year.. We live in different countries and talk different languages.. He痴 25 and I知 22.. Well , my problem is that my boyfriend never calls me and texts me.. Just texts me time to time.. To say that '' I love you '' that's all.. We talk on Facebook once or twice in a day.. And sometimes on the webcam... So sometimes , he doesn't talk with me for 3 or 4 days . And says to me , I知 sorry I have a lot of exam and I知 so busy with my education.. ( by the way ; he studies at university about spanish language .) I don't argue over this but I知 really felt so sad.. I think he doesn't interest about me anymore.. But when we talk I can feel his love.. And when we talk on the webcam , when I look into his eyes , I can feel the love between us.. But I really can't understand him.. We decided to marry on summer.. But as I said ; is he really with his education or doesn't he want to talk with me... What's your opinion ? And sorry for my English.. thanks again
    jukiera's Avatar
    jukiera Posts: 29, Reputation: 5
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    #2

    Apr 2, 2012, 10:03 AM
    I think you just want more of him. It might be true he might be busy with his education, but at least he makes an effort to tell you he loves you.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #3

    Apr 2, 2012, 10:09 AM
    You and I both know that we women can talk until the cows come home. Men aren't like that, and what they want to talk about (cars, school, a pet dog, sports, etc.) isn't what women want to talk about (our own feelings, his feelings).

    Lay off on the talking thing. Stop pushing him. And for pete's sake, stop being sad and needy! It sounds like he loves you well enough. Ask him about his school sports teams. Ask him about what he likes to eat. Ask him about "things," not about how he feels.
    selvia-ok's Avatar
    selvia-ok Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 3, 2012, 02:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    You and I both know that we women can talk until the cows come home. Men aren't like that, and what they want to talk about (cars, school, a pet dog, sports, etc.) isn't what women want to talk about (our own feelings, his feelings).

    Lay off on the talking thing. Stop pushing him. And for pete's sake, stop being sad and needy! It sounds like he loves you well enough. Ask him about his school sports teams. Ask him about what he likes to eat. Ask him about "things," not about how he feels.

    Thanks for your nice advice... that's comment made me nice & calm.. I'll try it all

    Quote Originally Posted by jukiera View Post
    I think you just want more of him. It might be true he might be busy with his education, but at least he makes an effort to tell you he loves you.

    Firstly , thanks a lot.. yes , I want because we are so far and I want to be sure.. thanks that's comment useful
    BK201's Avatar
    BK201 Posts: 338, Reputation: 150
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    #5

    Apr 3, 2012, 03:22 AM
    Visit him once... LDR cannot be just an LDR for over a year... we are all human, not machines.. and there is nothing wrong in wanting to talk to him or text him...
    I suggest, don't push him but see if you both can meet soon..
    selvia-ok's Avatar
    selvia-ok Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 5, 2012, 05:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by BK201 View Post
    Visit him once... LDR cannot be just an LDR for over a year... we are all human, not machines.. and there is nothing wrong in wanting to talk to him or text him...
    I suggest, dont push him but see if you both can meet soon..
    Thanks , yes I want to visit him but I can't.. we think to meet in this summer...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Apr 5, 2012, 08:19 PM
    We know you want him there with you, but he tries, so don't let insecurities make you so sad. Do things you enjoy until he gets there.

    LDR's are hard on any one. You have to be extra patient.
    selvia-ok's Avatar
    selvia-ok Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Apr 6, 2012, 04:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    We know you want him there with you, but he tries, so don't let insecurities make you so sad. Do things you enjoy until he gets there.

    LDR's are hard on any one. You have to be extra patient.

    Ow really thanks a lot... yes , you explained how I feel.. I'll try it all what u says.. I'm trying to be patient . :/ but really hard..
    ha2oon's Avatar
    ha2oon Posts: 12, Reputation: -1
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    #9

    Apr 6, 2012, 05:39 AM
    Don't get discourage by him not calling you for few days. Studying for his classes can carry him away from thinking about anything else. If you want, try these tips. Or Google [tips to make a men happy] if you call or visversa, just tell him how much you care about him and that your life is worthless without him. Prais him and make him feel like he is the only man living on this earth. Don't ever nag about anything. Guys don't like that. Hay don't make this your job. Get busy with your life and your future as well. It will help you stop thinking about the little details that bothers you about your boyfriend.
    selvia-ok's Avatar
    selvia-ok Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Apr 8, 2012, 07:49 AM
    The same language and a big problem !
    Hello , I'm selvia .

    And firstly thanks for listening me . I think I am not good at english . And I've a boyfriend . We have in LDR . So as you know , Communication is very important for relationships . And we must to talk . But I can't speak english very well . I am not good a english speaker . Well , what should I do ? To improve my english spoken ? I have no body to talk in here . Because of that I can't speak very well and I'm so shy when I try to talk with him on the phone . :/ but we both want to talk.. but I don't want so he thinks , I don't want him like he wants me . :/ what's your advice to this situation ?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Apr 8, 2012, 07:58 AM
    Practice in front of a mirror helps or reading english books aloud will help you get used to the language. Record your speaking english, and review it and tell your boyfriend you are trying to improve. Practice, practice, and more practice.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #12

    Apr 8, 2012, 08:53 AM
    I will say this about phones, or web cam and the such, I can say what I got to say in about 2 min and ready to go on to something else.
    selvia-ok's Avatar
    selvia-ok Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Apr 13, 2012, 08:38 AM
    Long distance and sex
    Hi ! I'm selvia again :) .


    As I said before , I am in a long distance relationship . And we are really living so far from each other . And from now , over 1 or 2 weeks ago , while we were talking each other.. he told me about special something.. he has got girls for sex time to time . He said , I can't control this because I am a man but it's will be aight when we be together.. because we are so far and I need something.. but I love you.. I just had sex with other . No love between me and others.. he said this and told me he really loves me.. but I can't decide anyway . What should I do ? Should I stop this relationship ? Or it's normal thing ?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #14

    Apr 13, 2012, 08:54 AM
    Its normal for a man to have needs, but acting on them with others is an excuse to condone what he has decided to do while with you. I think you better ask him if its okay for you to do as he does when YOU have the need for sex, and see what he says.

    Pay attention to his answer, and then give it thought that whenever he feels the need to have sex, will he act on it? What if you are ill, or pregnant will his needs justify having sex with another?

    Just my opinion, he is full of crap! Especially since he has done this without asking how you would feel about it. That's something to pay attention to also, for while he did confess, and inform you, he is also saying he can't help himself, for his character flaw, and as long as you can meet his need, he will not cheat.

    Needs or not, honesty or not, its still cheating, no matter the excuse. Just a guys opinion.

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