[Chris1989]

Hi. I really don't know what to do in this situation. I started working at this store in June 2006 and the girl I'm confused about started working at the same time. Even the same traning group. We became friends and about a month ago, we really got into each other. We started going to the movies and hanging out outside of work. She told me that she had been going out with this guy for a year and I was fine with that. I asked her if she liked me or him more. She said me. She then broke up with the guy and we started really going out. Then, after two weeks of actually going out as a couple, we had sex. Then she started acting rather distant and we both agreed that we went into this relationship way too fast. We broke up a day after valentines day. It wasn't mutual. I came up to her at work and said we have to talk. Then when we went on brake I said we have 3 ways that we can go. One we start over our relationship and take it slower. Two we stay friends. Three I quit this job and we never talk again. She said I need to think about it but said it would definitely be ether 1 or 2. Then later that night on hotmail she said that she really valued our friendship and she didn't want to lose it. I was fine on the outside, but I still have feelings for her. Now we still haven't talked outside of work for a good 2 weeks. She has ditched me twice and I still care for her. I don't know if she still likes me, if she doesn't want to talk to me, or if she does like me and is just being very shy. I am so confused and really just need advice right now.

I really don't know what to do :confused:

[chuff]

Chris,

First let me be blunt and say this is over. In fact it never really started. But you were just being used as a cushion for the break up in her other relationship. You just came along at the right time for her when she wanted out with the other guy.

We became friends and about a month ago, we really got into each other. we started going to the movies and hanging out outside of work.

Right about the time she ready to end her relationship with her ex. Now she had been bringing herself emotionally down for a couple months before this but was no going to break up with him. You came along and it gave her something to think about besides the break up.

She told me that she had been going out with this guy for a year and I was fine with that.

Great, so neither one of your respect commitment.

I asked her if she liked me or him more. She said me. She then broke up with the guy and we started really going out. Then, after two weeks of actually going out as a couple, we had sex. Then she started acting rather distant and we both agreed that we went into this relationship way too fast. We broke up a day after valentines day. It wasn't mutual. I came up to her at work and said we have to talk. Then when we went on brake i said we have 3 ways that we can go. One we start over our relationship and take it slower. Two we stay friends. Three I quit this job and we never talk again.

Assuming you like your job, and even if you only make minimum wage she should never be more important than your source of income.

She said I need to think about it but said it would definitly be ether 1 or 2. Then later that night on hotmail she said that she really valued our friendship and she didn't want to lose it. I was fine on the outside, but i still have feelings for her. Now we still haven't talked outside of work for a good 2 weeks.

Nor will you. All she needed was someone to cushion her fall from her other breakup. You were never meant to be anything more than that.

She has ditched me twice and i still care for her.

Which should show you she doesn’t even value your friendship. She doesn’t need you anymore.

I don't no if she still likes me, if she doesn't want to talk to me, or if she does like me and is just being very shy.

Why would she be shy if she already had sex with you? It’s one thing is someone’s shy when they are getting to know you but she’s already had sex with you. You were there to comfort her fall.

I am so confused and really just need advice right now.

I really don't no what to do :confused:

I quit talking to her. Eat lunch at a different table and just say “hello” if she says it to you but move on. I’d also never let her see you upset. Always be happy, smiling, and having a good time.

[chuff]

“Chris1989 disagrees: well its great that u think everyone is like that but 1st i posted this 2 week or so ago. U r wrong about the cushon stuff because we r back 2gether and could b better but were doin fine.”

Oh my how interesting. I swear I don't get what is so hard to understand about that disagree box, but once again that's not what it's for. But since you copped an attitude you get to meet mine and get Chuffed.

well its great that u think everyone is like that

Sorry Chris I didn't say everybody was like that. In fact I never said anything close. That's a cop out by you because your not ready to face the reality of what's going on. I'd tell you it was a nice try but it was actually quite pathetic.

1st i posted this 2 week or so ago.

Thanks to this new thing called a date, which is clearly posted on your original post it was six days ago. Since it's just after midnight it was really 5 days ago. But either way it wasn't even 1 week much less 2 weeks ago.

That being said I want to tell you that I do go back and purposely look for posts that have been overlooked or ignored as I did with you. It was probably 4 or 5 pages back and I did take the time to answer it because I thought since you took the time to post a question here you deserved an answer.

What you do with that answer is your business. I'll agree with you that you don't have to like my answer or accept it. I've been wrong before. But since I was the only one of over 107,000 members of this site to take the time to answer your question it would seem you might appreciate a point of view from someone who has been in that situation or tried to offer you some advice from a different perspective. I'm sorry, although now not surprised, you could not be open enough to accept or try to think of your position from a different point of view.

U r wrong about the cushon stuff because we r back 2gether and could b better but were doin fine.”

Am I wrong? Let's see what you said in your original post, shall we. We shall.

We became friends and about a month ago, we really got into each other. we started going to the movies and hanging out outside of work. She told me that she had been going out with this guy for a year and I was fine with that. I asked her if she liked me or him more. She said me. She then broke up with the guy and we started really going out.

Well that sounds like behavior from a woman that wants a cushion. By the way it also proves I was 100% correct that neither one you respect commitment…. So score one for Chuff. Thank you.

But since you believe she is now never going to cheat again, and it was cheating because there's something called emotional cheating, but since you think that's never going to happen again your now setting yourself up for another fall. She may have run back to you in the last 2 weeks….My bad - 5 days because she really likes you. Or she may have attempted to hook back up with her ex who now sees her as the cheating game player she is so he got his rocks off one last time then dropped her. So she came running back to you. Or she may have even found another guy altogether who she was interested in, perhaps even one you all work with which would explain why she didn't want to talk to you at work. Either way she may have had another guy in mind and dropped you to get him but when that didn't work out she came back to her trusted safety net.

The truth is I really don't know why the one woman you stole from another guy would suddenly drop you after a couple weeks like you were nothing to her, I just know how human beings act in general and your two timing cheating girlfriend acts like many others who just need a doormat. But if you think this whole thing that I said is absurd and your happy being the constant safety net then I wish you all the best and some good luck. Your going to need it.

[talaniman]

Your post was the 20th, today is the26th. Glad your back together and only time will tell if you're a rebound or not. Keep us posted.