Check out some similar questions!

romeysukh · Mar 26, 2012, 05:28 AM

Hello everyone,

I'm Romey, 25 yrs. Old. Belonging to (SC) and my go ( OBC ). We have in a critical condition, the main problem is intercaste marriage from her mother side. They did not want to marry with me. But the girl always says to mother to marry with me. We are loyal to each other from 4 yrs. Her father died when she was just 4 yrs. In her family, her mother, and younger brother. Her mother always tell her if any guy you like you tell me, I will marry you with him. But when last year when her mother asks her to tell her y choice, which type of guy you like to marry, I will find for you. She told to mother about me. Her mother clearly said that we don't marry with him. Or if you want to marry with him you can go now from home! But then there will no relationship with us.
One thing is that she doesn't want to leave mother because her mother not in good condition, her mother have many diseases. She is scared if she left her mother or house, any tragedy can happen then all blame on her head if anything happen after that.
8 months after her mother statement same now still . Firstly we planned to court marriage. But when we think about when her mother know about this thing it will be shock it can become tragedy, we don't know now how can we change her mother mind. But we want to become a lovable couple this is the last wish of ours.

Please if any suggestions come in your mind then suggest me. I don't want to leave my love

talaniman · Mar 26, 2012, 06:17 AM

Can you afford to be the man of this house? The caste system is difficult, but its your girl you have to convince to get support from other family members, and others the mother trusts, and respects to aid her in convincing her mother to allow this marriage.

Part of your problem is your girls unwillingness to leave her mother, or maybe you winning favor with the mother. Have you tried this approach with the mother? Is your girl willing to try this approach?

romeysukh · Mar 26, 2012, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Can you afford to be the man of this house? The caste system is difficult, but its your girl you have to convince to get support from other family members, and others the mother trusts, and respects to aid her in convincing her mother to allow this marriage.

Part of your problem is your girls unwillingness to leave her mother, or maybe you winning favor with the mother. Have you tried this approach with the mother? Is your girl willing to try this approach?

Yes I can afford.. but Not yet I tried to approach with her mother ! When I am thinking I should talk to her mother only one thing comes in my mind I'm not yet settle in life , I mean to say on govt job. Because her mother is govt teacher I know her thinking is also like that whoever person comes in my girl life is a govt employee. Because govt employee ever think whether the person have good pay scale in private sector but they just think he or she not secure in life.. . that's why I am just afraid to talk to her mother if her mother reject me for this thing .I'm also trying to get a govt job to fulfill her requirements . When I get a government job then I have a one plus point to impress her mother..

talaniman · Mar 26, 2012, 10:40 PM

So it seems that a lot of ground work has to be laid before you can actually consider marriage. I am not of your culture, but I think it would be my plan to meet and greet her mother, in the hope that character may sway her judgement in your favor as you work to improve yourself.

Her mom has to know her daughter has been dating you so that should be a sign of hope, right? So I think its very possible that she is but waiting for you to get your act together to be a good husband, and that's fair for a mother to expect. Maybe don't be desperate, or panic, as it seems time will yield results, as you cannot expect a mother to get involved with a young fellow who has no way to support her daughter, YET!!

I say keep working, and do not fear letting her mother know you, and see if you are a good hardworking guy for herself. If you intend to take the daughter with blessings of the mother, you better get over your fear, and engage with her.

Waiting to have the trappings of success doesn't inspire confidence now.

romeysukh · Mar 27, 2012, 03:08 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

So it seems that a lot of ground work has to be laid before you can actually consider marriage. I am not of your culture, but I think it would be my plan to meet and greet her mother, in the hope that character may sway her judgement in your favor as you work to improve yourself.

Her mom has to know her daughter has been dating you so that should be a sign of hope, right? So I think its very possible that she is but waiting for you to get your act together to be a good husband, and thats fair for a mother to expect. Maybe don't be desperate, or panic, as it seems time will yield results, as you cannot expect a mother to get involved with a young fellow who has no way to support her daughter, YET!!!

I say keep working, and do not fear letting her mother know you, and see if you are a good hardworking guy for herself. If you intend to take the daughter with blessings of the mother, you better get over your fear, and engage with her.

Waiting to have the trappings of success doesn't inspire confidence now.

Thanks for tune up me...

And now I will be prepared to himself how to talk with her mother when we will meeting..